<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Lodged in our Memories by GhostsandGhouls, MarS109</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26030452">Lodged in our Memories</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/GhostsandGhouls/pseuds/GhostsandGhouls'>GhostsandGhouls</a>, <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarS109/pseuds/MarS109'>MarS109</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Miles From Normal [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - College/University, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Kyoutani's sailor mouth, M/M, Sharing a Bed, Slow Burn, Training Camp, aka I'm bullying numai, and mar is crying, one bed, tragic backstory</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 07:28:02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>42,506</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26030452</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/GhostsandGhouls/pseuds/GhostsandGhouls, https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarS109/pseuds/MarS109</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It's just a week, sharing a cabin with a complete stranger, Kyoutani is certain it won't be that bad. Until he meets his cabin-mate: Numai Kazuma aka the hottest guy he's ever seen and suddenly, he isn't so sure that this week will be anything close to easy.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kyoutani Kentarou/Numai Kazuma</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Miles From Normal [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1889524</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Unbearable</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Updates coming every 2 weeks!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Every year, as planned, there’s a volleyball camp usually led by university students. Numai had been so proud to learn that his university wanted to send him, and he was looking forward to meeting the kids, to helping them learn more about a sport that meant a lot to him. It’s a long drive out to the cabins, but he makes it in one piece and is greeted with a smile by the head counsellor, she tells him the basics then hands him a key.<br/>
<br/>
He finds the cabin he’s been assigned to, number eight and lets himself in with the key, he kicks off his shoes first, puts his suitcase to the side of the bed then starts taking a look around. There’s a small bathroom, which he’s grateful for, with enough room for the toilet, a sink and a shower. The closets are well-sized, but Numai doesn’t plan to tackle unpacking until later, he has to be out at the main building by four-o’clock, for the meeting where everyone will be introduced and he’ll get to see the kids for the first time.<br/>
<br/>
The large room, where he’d entered, has a small kitchen, with just two burners, little counter space and a sink. A couch to sit and a television, the next room has one large bed, closet space and a door that leads to the bathroom. It’s quaint and Numai is sure he’s going to enjoy his time here.<br/>
<br/>
Kyoutani enters with a bang, quite literally. He can’t seem to get the key to properly work until it does, and the door Kyoutani has been pushing at for the last couple of minutes swings open violently and crashes against the wall. He winces and hopes there was no one around to hear that.<br/>
<br/>
Kyoutani was proud to be selected as a counsellor for his university. While he didn’t look it, with fierce eyes and intimidating frame, Kyoutani was fond of kids. He hadn’t expected to be chosen, in all honesty. He knew he was talented, but Kyoutani has been betting on his more mild-tempered setter to be selected. The coach had seemed pretty confident in his decision with Kyoutani though, so he wouldn’t take this opportunity lightly. He was here now, and he would make his team proud, even if that meant swallowing down his own pride in the process.<br/>
<br/>
Numai is jolted into action when the door bangs, he rushes out from the bathroom and takes one look at the guy before quickly deciding that he’s about to be robbed. He puts on his toughest face and scrunches up his brows. “What the fuck are you doing in my cabin?” Then he sees the badge attached to this guy’s bag, the exact same one that Numai had been given by the head counsellor. “I think there’s a mix-up.”<br/>
<br/>
Numai finds his key from where he dumped it and shows it to the stranger, eyeing him up and keeping a slight distance just in case this guy is as angry as he looks. <em>Who decided it was a good idea to send this guy?</em> Numai thinks, waiting expectedly for an explanation.</p><p>Kyoutani huffs, annoyed. He can’t believe his patience is getting tested <em>this</em> fucking hard in the first hour. He wrestles the key out of the door, and flashes it to the asshole in front of him. “This isn’t your fuckin’ cabin dipshit. I wouldn’t be able to fuckin’ open this door without this shitty key anyways.” Kyoutani retorts, glancing past the guy to look around. He looks down at his watch. There’s not much time before they have to round up to meet the kids, so he reaches back to drag his luggage inside, leaving it by the wall of the entrance.<br/>
<br/>
“There’s been no fuckin mix-up, they told me to come to this goddamn cabin, so here I am.”<br/>
<br/>
Numai looks down at his key then over at the door. They both have the same number, but it can’t be right, there’s only one bed, in fact this whole cabin doesn’t look like it would be able to be used by two people. Numai’s mouth flaps and before he can say anything, the guy is moving around in a hurry.<br/>
<br/>
“Hold on, please. One minute.” Numai sighs, he carefully takes the key from the stranger and holds both of them up together. “Fuck, this has to be a mistake on their end. Does it look like we could even share this place?” He hands the key back then hints toward the bed. “One bed. We can’t share.”<br/>
<br/>
Numai looks at his own watch and sighs heavily. “We’ll have to sort this out after.” He walks out and waits for a moment, just a little away from the door, for the stranger to join him. Numai wants to say something else but he isn’t sure what it is anymore and without waiting a moment longer, he heads towards the largest building for the meeting, still feeling a little bristly from the interaction.<br/>
<br/>
Kyoutani’s brows are knitted together tightly, shocked. He glares at the single bed in the room, glares at the key, and walks out after his supposed cabin mate, locking the door behind him with the stupid key. He follows, several meters behind him, but eventually they both reach the meeting room, and Kyoutani shoves his hands in his pants pockets as he pulls up next to his cabin mate.<br/>
<br/>
The head of the camp is a woman, old, tall and loud. Her voice booms across the small room as she enthusiastically greets all the university representatives with a, “Hello everybody! My name is Coach Aizawa! I hope everyone is here and on time! Welcome to this year’s volleyball camp, we’re so glad to have you here! Now, I’d like to start with some basic rules and etiquette around the children you’ll be working with!”<br/>
<br/>
Kyoutani is paying strict attention to the head, but he can’t help but fidget next to his cabin mate. He imagines he’ll probably be sleeping on the couch or on a futon, which he was no stranger to. But this wasn’t the time to think about where he was sleeping and frowned at the head coach in concentration. He wouldn’t miss a word of instruction, he was here on behalf of his team and he promised himself he wouldn’t slack off.<br/>
<br/>
Numai tries to focus during the meeting, he picks up the important points, but he can’t help notice the way the guy next to him fidgets every other second. Halfway through, Numai has enough, he hits the guy's leg and sends him a glare before looking back over at Aizawa. Kyoutani glares for a moment but doesn’t say anything, not wanting to interrupt the coach.<br/>
<br/>
She’s straight to the point and Numai hangs on every word just in case he might miss something important. Once she wraps up and clears out, Numai gently nudges his cabin-mate and walks up to her. “Hello,” He holds out his key and points to his cabin mate. “Uh, I think there’s some kind of mix up, we’re in one cabin and there’s only one bed.”<br/>
<br/>
Aizawa looks between them then smiles and shakes her head. “There isn’t a mix-up, Numai-kun. All of our university counsellors share rooms, you and Kyoutani-kun are in the right place. I’m sure you will figure out a sleeping arrangement.” Numai glances over at Kyoutani blinking slowly. “Is there anything else?”<br/>
<br/>
Numai shakes his head then she bids him a good night and heads off. Numai slowly approaches Kyoutani. “We’re shit out of luck. Let’s just get back and figure something out.”<br/>
<br/>
Shifting around uncomfortably, Kyoutani shrugs and starts heading back to the cabin. He really wants to fight back, argue that Numai didn’t have to smack him in the middle of Aizawa’s speech, but it’s his first day and he’s really trying hard to not fuck shit up on the first day. He wouldn’t let Numai get a rise out of him, so best case scenario, Kyoutani was going to avoid the guy at all costs if he was going to continue being an asshole.<br/>
<br/>
As he gets to the door, Kyoutani sticks the key in and starts wiggling it around. He’s having trouble with this goddamn key. Again. Numai tuts softly and shakes his head as he watches Kyoutani struggle with the key. “Just let me do it.” He gently pats Kyoutani’s arm and lets them into the cabin. “See, if you don’t freak out, it’s easy.”<br/>
<br/>
Numai hands Kyoutani’s key back then steps inside, switching the light on. He goes to the little kitchenette and turns the kettle on. “What do you want to drink?” Numai looks through the cupboards, there’s plenty of dry foods, some tea, some coffee, nothing exciting. If Numai knew, he would have packed something. “I dunno if you want to eat anything, but we’re not spoiled for choice.”<br/>
<br/>
He digs through the fridge next, setting out the creamer. Numai supposes he should expect more, there are some eggs in the fridge. When he looks in the freezer, he finds some fruit and vegetables. “You like ice cream? There’s some in here. Or do you think we could order out here?”<br/>
<br/>
Kyoutani watches Numai, blinking. He suspects Numai was probably frustrated at the fact he had an unexpected roommate, especially one like himself, but Numai was being unusually nice compared to his first impression. Cautiously, Kyoutani closes the door behind him and squints at Numai. Kyoutani opens his mouth to comment on the sudden mood switch but snaps it shut. He would play nice.<br/>
<br/>
“I uh… brought some ramen and shit.”, Kyoutani mutters, gesturing back to one of his suitcases. Rubbing at his neck awkwardly, he shifted on between his feet, before turning around, and dragging his suitcases to one of the drawers, moving past the kitchen, and squatting down to push over his suitcases and open them so he could unpack.<br/>
<br/>
“Oh, well at least you thought more ahead than I did.” Numai watches Kyoutani, he fishes his phone out and checks through it even as the kettle comes to a boil. “You like pizza?” He puts his phone down and grabs two mugs out of the cupboard.<br/>
<br/>
Kyoutani looks back in the midst of his packing, still confused at Numai’s sudden change, and watches him grab the mugs. Numai makes himself a cup of tea then sits down on the couch, looking back through his phone at the food options. “Thai?” Numai hums. “You should make a drink before the kettle gets too cold.” He sips his tea slowly and turns the television on, finding a rerun he’s seen a hundred times.<br/>
<br/>
Numai only perks up when he finds out he can get a delivery. “Yes!” He almost spills his tea in his excitement and quickly calms down with a soft: <em> oops</em>. “What do you want to eat then?”<br/>
<br/>
Kyoutani snorts at Numai, and can’t help but say, “I’m not picky, so you can choose whatever ya fuckin’ want, clumsy ass.” He could’ve left the insult off the end of his statement, but he couldn’t help but make fun. With that, he walks past Numai to check out the kinds of teas they have, shuffling through. His brows scrunch up in concentration as he tries to decide which tea would be best.<br/>
<br/>
“Clumsy? I didn't do anything.” Numai huffs. So what if he got excited and the tea in his mug sloshed around a little? He didn't spill anything, and that had nothing to do with Kyoutani. “Whatever, I'm getting pizza.”<br/>
<br/>
Numai flicks to one of the pizza deliveries, poking his tongue out a little as he focuses on the options, picking out his favourite of barbecue chicken and he settles on a pepperoni one for Kyoutani. He places the order and settles back into the couch, watching the television and sipping his tea, ignoring Kyoutani. <br/>
<br/>
Kyoutani snorts. Like Numai wasn’t about to spill his tea all over himself. He finally decides on a tea, and pours himself a mug. Quietly he moves to the other side of the couch, mug in hand, and watches whatever Numai had on as he waited for his tea to steep. He finds himself relaxing, only half paying attention to whatever shitty show Numai had on. Then it hit him. They were going to be cabin mates for the next week and they haven't properly introduced themselves to each other. He only caught Numai’s name thanks to coach Aizawa.<br/>
<br/>
So, still facing the television, Kyoutani mutters, “Th’ name’s Kyoutani Kentarou.”<br/>
<br/>
Numai perks up, he glances at Kyoutani out the corner of his eye, he’s just sitting there stock-still watching the television, it almost makes Numai want to laugh. But he doesn’t, he shrugs to himself and turns back to the television. “Numai Kazuma,” He replies, assuming that the whole point of this was to at least know each other’s names. Numai turns to face Kyoutani again, blinks twice and smiles. “So, what position do you play?”<br/>
<br/>
He pauses, looks Kyoutani over and sips his tea. It has to be something that takes both leg strength and arm strength, judging by his muscles. Numai decides right at that moment that it’s going to be hard getting through the week with someone like Kyoutani around. He’s not too bad looking, even if Numai is still put off by his deep-set scowl.<br/>
<br/>
Kyoutani still keeps his eyes on the television, but his face relaxes at the mention of volleyball. He takes a sip from his tea before answering, “Wing-spiker.” proudly. </p><p>“Cool.” Numai shakes his head and puts his cup down. “I think it’s fair for you to know, since we don’t have a choice but to share, I’m gay.” He considers adding that if Kyoutani is freaked out by it then he can take a hike, but he doesn’t, he just snaps his mouth shut and picks his cup back up, returning to stare at the television.<br/>
<br/>
That’s what gets Kyoutani to look over at Numai in shock. He blinks slowly, and frowns, processing what Numai just said. He opens his mouth to speak, but he’s not really sure what to say. There wasn’t really a problem with Numai being gay, but more of a problem that Kyoutani liked guys too (though he really didn’t label himself as gay), and was probably going to be thinking about that for the whole week. He wasn’t exactly closeted himself, but this was the first time anyone had been so open about it, which he begrudgingly respected Numai for. But still, Kyoutani was left speechless. So instead of words, he just nods awkwardly and turns back to the television, taking another sip of his tea.<br/>
<br/>
“I’m a wing spiker too. I’ve always been the ace on my team. We uh…” Numai pauses, sipping his tea as he considers what he’s going to say and decides why not. He’s proud of his accomplishments. “In high school, our team made it to nationals twice, just missed out in my third year. I dunno uh, are you from Tokyo originally? We have one last chance to get in, we came fourth so we didn’t make it.”<br/>
<br/>
Numai sighs softly, he knows he’s good, he had been good enough that his university decided to send him here, to make him the ace over some of the upperclassmen, maybe some that should have been chosen before him. But, he can still never forget that moment, the third year’s crying, missing out on the last chance to go to the spring tournament….How frustrated Kuguri was that he didn’t live up to expectations. Numai’s own frustration about his injury. None of that mattered now, but he still thought about it. “What about you, did you ever get to go?”<br/>
<br/>
Kyoutani wrinkles his nose at the thought of nationals. He sighs and says, “Nah, I’m from Miyagi with Karasuno and Dateko. So, didn’t fuckin’ make it.” Kyoutani would never forget his last game in high school. It was a close game and a hard loss. He had trained hard next to Yahaba to make the team strong and make their seniors proud, and he couldn’t follow through in the end. The unpleasant thoughts made him glare into his cup of tea, gripping the mug tight. He’d remembered Iwaizumi in the stands, watching the game, and the reassuring pat on the back he’d gotten after the game from him that felt more pitying.<br/>
<br/>
Kyoutani huffs, snapping out of his distressing train of thought and turns back to the television with a hardened stare. “It never gets easy, losing.” Numai comments quietly, he continues to sip his tea. He puts the cup down once he’s finished and looks back at Kyoutani. “You do anything else except volleyball?”<br/>
<br/>
Before Kyoutani can answer Numai’s question, there’s a knock at the door. “Oh, pizza.” Numai gets up, going to answer, he gives the delivery guy a wide smile and a thank you then goes back to the couch, setting the boxes down onto the table. He opens the top one to find pepperoni and puts it to the other side of the table, closer to Kyoutani. “This one is yours.”<br/>
<br/>
Numai happily grabs the other box and settles back, flipping the lid open. He takes a piece and bites into it, humming happily. “They’re good.” He says after swallowing.<br/>
<br/>
Kyoutani raises an eyebrow and looks curiously at Numai. He’d been expecting to share a pizza and split the cost, but Numai got him a whole ass pizza. Setting down his mug and squinting at Numai, Kyoutani asks, “How much did mine’s cost?”<br/>
<br/>
“Uh, 2250¥? I just paid on my card, don’t worry about it.” Numai shrugs, he finishes his first slice of pizza then looks at Kyoutani. “Just eat up before it goes cold.” Kyoutani huffs and walks over to one of his bags and takes out 2250¥ from his wallet, and walks back to put it on the table. Satisfied, Kyoutani opens his box and takes a slice, tearing into it contentedly.<br/>
<br/>
Swallowing his bite, Kyoutani says, “I don’t need you to pay for shit, so.”<br/>
<br/>
Numai frowns, he eats his pizza quietly, mulling over Kyoutani’s words. When he’s finished, he puts the empty box onto the table, taking the money to shove it into his pocket. “Whatever, I never said you needed me to pay. It was just easier, get the fucking stick out of your ass.” He gets up and goes to wash his hands. Kyoutani huffs, snarling at Numai but stays quiet otherwise.</p><p>Numai heads to his suitcase once his hands are dry, and starts to quietly unpack, picking the shelves in the closet that are higher up. “There’s plenty of room in here for your stuff too. I’m gonna go shower.” He grabs some sweatpants and a clean pair of boxers then storms into the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind him. He clicks the lock into place then turns the shower on and groans quietly, silenced more by the steady patter of water, he wonders why the hell Kyoutani is making this so hard, maybe if he was a little nicer then they could get along.<br/>
<br/>
Kyoutani wasn’t sure what kind of stick Numai had in <em>his</em> ass that he wouldn’t accept the money without some condescending final statement. For a moment he considers asking for a room change because Kyoutani wasn’t sure how he’d be able to withstand Numai’s presence for much longer before he snapped. But he wouldn’t. Kyoutani promised not to make any trouble, and asking for a room switch on the first day was probably not the best way to go about it. The head coaches were busy planning the camp itself and probably weren’t looking to have someone inconvenience them with a petty issue.<br/>
<br/>
Kyoutani groans in frustration as he hears the water to the shower turn on and hoists himself up to finish unpacking, neatly folding his stuff in the item drawers and moving his food stuff to the kitchen. When he was done, putting his now empty suitcases in the closet, Numai was still showering. He was actually pretty thankful he got a moment to relax, and flopped onto the couch, immediately sinking into the cushions, and began to mindlessly watch whatever had been on previously.<br/>
<br/>
Numai changes in the bathroom, after drying off, walking out clad in only the sweatpants, the towel sitting around his neck to catch the last few droplets from his damp hair. Where he’s standing makes it impossible to see Kyoutani’s face, the back of the couch facing him, and subsequently, Kyoutani’s head.<br/>
<br/>
He glares as if Kyoutani <em>might</em> see him then ruffles the towel through his hair to dry it off more. He grabs the spare blanket he’d thought to pack then returns to the couch, flopping down with a soft sigh. He lays the blanket over the arm of the chair and makes himself comfortable, glancing at Kyoutani. “If you wanna get a shower, you should go now before it gets too late. It’s already dark out.”<br/>
<br/>
Hearing Numai entering already had him on edge but having Numai order him around, nearly pushes him over the edge. Kyoutani glares hard at the television, taking a deep breath, collecting himself, for the sake of his team.<br/>
<br/>
Numai glances at Kyoutani, slowly towel-drying the rest of his hair, he scoffs softly and shakes his head. “Or don’t get one, it doesn’t bother me. I was just giving you some advice. If you go too late, it’s not good for your health. When people take a shower at night and the overall temperature of our bodies are relatively colder, the water could essentially shock you. Think of pouring cold water into a hot glass, it shatters. The effect of the cold water weakens our immune system. Taking a shower at night after a whole day of activities isn’t recommended. It can also cause rheumatism, which is a term for a variety of disorders marked by inflammation, degeneration or metabolic derangement of connective tissue structures, especially joints and related structures, causing pain, stiffness or limitation of motion.”<br/>
<br/>
He looks away again then gets up to go make another cup of tea, finding out some decaf ones, chamomile flavour too, perfects to rest for the night. He stands there, ignoring Kyoutani, waiting for the fresh kettle water to boil, just quietly running the towel through his hair. It always takes a little longer with his hair being on the thick side and he hates it.<br/>
<br/>
Kyoutani wants to smash his head into the table in front of him. He didn’t ask for a goddamn speech about his health. He manages to do some breathing exercises, but the sharp high pitch of the tea kettle boiling just made him lose his focus. Kyoutani gets up and turns viciously snarling, starting to yell, “I DIDN’T GODDAMN ASK FO-” His voice catches in his throat and his neck heats up as he looks at Numai. Numai, without a fuckin’ shirt on and tattoos accentuating the musculature of his body. This was unfair.<br/>
<br/>
What kind of shit did Kyoutani do to deserve karma like this? Who sent Numai over to be his cabin-mate <em>for a week</em> with such a smarmy attitude and a stupidity, dumbly, idiotically good body? That’s not to say Numai didn’t have a nice face, but Kyoutani hadn’t really been all that concerned with his cabin mate’s attractiveness until he decided to romp around with his hair tousled, wet, and darkened, abs and pecs on full display. <br/>
<br/>
Kyoutani snaps his mouth shut and marches over to a drawer to aggressively snatch a t-shirt, boxers, and joggers and storms past Numai staring straight ahead into the bathroom furiously. He prayed that whatever redness that was on his face looked like a product of anger rather than whatever the fuck <em>that</em> was that send his heart rate to the fucking sky.<br/>
<br/>
Numai almost jumps at the vicious voice, he automatically presses against the counter and closes his eyes, not wanting to look at Kyoutani. His hand goes to his side and he listens to Kyoutani’s heavy breathing, hears the stomp of his feet, which only makes Numai retreat further into himself. Finally, the bathroom door closes and he relaxes, almost collapsing to the floor. He’d really expected <em>something</em> from Kyoutani, and he could take it, he wouldn’t cause trouble. At least he knew what Kyoutani was really like. Numai finishes his tea then returns to the couch, absentmindedly watching the television, listening just so he doesn’t hear the steady patter of the water from the shower.<br/>
<br/>
He tunes in and out of the television, sinking into the silence of his mind. Slowly, Numai finishes his tea, then he grabs the blanket and makes himself comfortable on the couch; he’s unsure if Kyoutani has even returned yet, but regardless, he closes his eyes and breathes slowly.<br/>
<br/>
Kyoutani finishes his shower, taking his time so that he could relax. A nice, long, cold shower to get rid of all this heat in his body. When he steps out, he realizes a few things. He never said thank you for the pizza and that Numai was in the same situation as him as far as having an annoying ass roommate. Also, he found Numai to be stupidly attractive, physically and the fact that Numai was gay did not help to forget that certain point. He gets dressed leisurely and notes that the television still seems to be on. When he walks out into the bedroom, he’s surprised to see that Numai isn’t passed out on the bed. Kyoutani figured he was plenty exhausting to be around.<br/>
<br/>
Kyoutani walks out into the living room, looking around curiously. He walks over to the couch to see Numai curled up there. Numai wasn’t much taller than him, but he looked a bit cramped on the couch. Kyoutani sits on the table in front of the couch, pushing over an empty pizza box to watch Numai’s face as he towels off his own hair. Honestly, Kyoutani was feeling a bit guilty about freaking the fuck out earlier, and Numai probably deserved a good ass rest. Softly, Kyoutani mutters, “You awake?” and taps at Numai’s knee gently.<br/>
<br/>
Numai tenses a little when he hears Kyoutani’s question, he plans to just pretend to sleep and ignore him, until Kyoutani taps his knee. His eyes snap open instantly and he reaches out to quickly swat away Kyoutani’s hand then flips over, so he’s facing the sofa and his back is to Kyoutani. “Don’t touch me.” He warns, voice firm. He tugs the blanket up from where it had fallen when he reached out and tucks it around his shoulders and huffs out a breath. “Just go to bed.”<br/>
<br/>
Kyoutani’s eyes widen at Numai’s response, not expecting it to be so explosive. Numai really hated him that much, huh. He knew Numai was gay and all, but maybe he still felt disgusted when Kyoutani had looked him over like <em>that</em>. Kyoutani lets the towel sit on his neck and wrings his hands together nervously, scowling. Kyoutani sits there in the silence, trying to mull over his words before he says anything too rash.<br/>
<br/>
He finally decides on, “Hey. I know I’m a fuckin’ asshole and we both got fucked over by this cabin situation. So take the fuckin’ bed. If you hate me or whatever that’s fine and I’ll stay outta your way, but I, uh… I should be the one to sleep on the couch or whatever.”<br/>
<br/>
Numai huffs, listening to Kyoutani talk just grates on his nerves. He clenches his eyes shut for a moment and breathes slowly again. He was overreacting, right? Kyoutani hadn’t hit him, he’d just yelled and stomped around a bit. Numai didn’t have the best past, but it wasn’t fair to take it out on Kyoutani, they still had to get along a little, just for a week. It couldn’t be that hard. <em>Could it?</em><br/>
<br/>
“I’m fine right here.” He finally answers, not even daring to make a quip at Kyoutani being an asshole, he glances over his shoulder, nervously clicking his tongue piercing against his teeth. “You can take the bed.” He adds after a moment then settles back down into the couch, closing his eyes once more. “Sorry.” He mutters, only half hoping that Kyoutani won’t hear him. Numai just wants to sleep, to drift away and forget for a few hours.<br/>
<br/>
Kyoutani blinks at the apology. Sighing, Kyoutani grabs the remote off the table and turns off the television. He stands up, pushing off his knees tiredly. He watches Numai for a moment and turns to walk towards the bedroom. Before he exits, Kyoutani says, “You’re getting the bed tomorrow.” and shuts the door behind him.<br/>
<br/>
Kyoutani basically falls onto the bed, not even bothering to get under the covers and hugs a pillow to his chest as he curls up around it. He has a hard time falling asleep, still thinking about Numai’s apology. Numai had seemed a bit tenser around him after he came out of the shower, and Kyoutani really started to think that the guy either hated his guts or was disgusted by him. But that apology seemed to fit neither of those scenarios. Eventually, Kyoutani finds himself too tired to even think, and slowly drifts off, curled around the pillow.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Standing Out</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Numai wakes with a bit of a start, he swears softly as he stretches out, his body aching slightly from the position he’d been in. He looks outside, where the sky is only just becoming light with the edges of sunrise. It’s early, too early for him to be up. Numai pulls himself up, groaning a little as he stretches further, he gets up and goes to the bedroom, where Kyoutani is still fast asleep.<br/><br/>His snores fill the air and Numai chuckles softly, quickly changing into a clean pair of sweats, he pulls on a tank top just as he approaches the bed. Kyoutani has a death-grip on the pillow, drooling a little onto it, and Numai has to curse the fact that he somehow looks fucking <em> cute </em>like this. Kyoutani’s face is at ease in his sleep, nothing like the scowl he usually wears, his eyes are softer and it takes Numai a moment to notice that he’s missing the thick black lines that usually deepen his eyes into his face. <br/><br/>Numai shakes his head and heads out, pulling on his running shoes. He runs three laps around the outskirts of the camp, returning when the last dark-blues in the sky have faded into the horizon. He expects Kyoutani to be awake when he walks into the cabin, but it’s still silent, Numai’s brows pinch together and he goes to the bathroom, passing by Kyoutani who is still sleeping. <br/><br/>He leaves him for now and goes to wash up. It’s not until he steps out of the shower that he realises he didn’t pick up any clean clothes to change into, he swears to himself and slowly walks out of the bathroom. Kyoutani is still sleeping and this time, Numai walks over to the bed, clad only in a towel, he reaches down and gives Kyoutani’s shoulder a firm poke. “Oi, get up. We need to eat before we go get the kids.”</p><p>Kyoutani grunts, and swipes at the air where Numai’s hand was, sleepily, his face pulling into its usual frown. He releases the pillow from his grasp and turns on his back, scratching at his exposed stomach, his shirt lifted from his shifting. Numai watches Kyoutani, staring a little too long at his stomach and the line of hair that dips down into his shorts. Taking a deep breath, Kyoutani heaves his torso up and squints his eyes open, looking forward sleepily. With a low and rough voice, Kyoutani mutters, “Fuckin’ hell I’m-” His squinted eyes go wide at they finally turn to Numai next to him.<br/><br/>His mind must be playing tricks on him, or Numai has a serious exhibitionist streak. Not really believing his eyes, Kyoutani reaches out slowly and just barely taps his fingers against Numai’s waist. Numai blinks in surprise, stepping back, away from Kyoutani’s reach. Realizing that Numai is actually, physically in front of him, Kyoutani jumps to his feet on the bed. For a moment he just stares at Numai panicked, quickly turning red, before he rushes past him into the bathroom, shutting the door harshly behind him. <br/><br/>Numai watches Kyoutani go. “The fuck?” He shakes his head and collects his clothes from the closet. Since he can’t go into the bathroom, he has to dry up in the bedroom and get dressed, He walks to the bathroom door and knocks loudly. “Hey, shit for brains. I was just coming in for my clothes, it isn’t my damned fault that you didn’t put an alarm on.”<br/><br/>Kyoutani’s back is to the wall and he’s breathing heavily, trying to calm himself down. Numai’s words barely register with him. He turns on the sink, splashes water on his face, and grips the edge of the sink with his eyes shut. Sighing, he begins to properly wash his face, and with his eyes closed, all he can see are images of Numai in his mind. Kyoutani angrily scrubs at his face and rinses it off. He stares at himself in the mirror, water dripping onto his shirt. He wipes his face dry with his sleeves, and grabs his eyeliner, hoping the routine would get him to calm down, but his hands are still shaky. <br/><br/>Kyoutani doesn’t think he’s ever been this attracted to someone’s body before, except for Iwaizumi during his first year. He’s so frustrated, that he pockets his eyeliner, not trusting himself to not poke himself in the eye at the moment.<br/><br/>Numai shakes his head then goes to the kitchen and makes up two bowls of porridge, leaving Kyoutani’s bowl on the counter. “Breakfast is done asshole!” He sits down at the table and eats quietly.</p><p>Kyoutani jumps at Numai’s voice and whips his head to the door of the bathroom. Kyoutani rubs at his temples and prays Numai dressed by now, calling out, “Yea, I’m fuckin’ going!”. He splashes cold water on his face one more time and turns off the sink, this time drying himself off with a towel. He grimaces at his slightly damp shirt and pulls open the door. </p><p>Silently, he stalks towards his bowl of porridge, snatches it from the counter along with a spoon, avoiding any eye contact with Numai, and goes to the couch to eat, pulling his knees to his chest and balancing the bowl on them. He takes a couple of bites, then mumbles, “Thanks… dipshit.”<br/><br/>“Whatever.” Numai finishes eating first then cleans up, putting everything back when he’s done. “Clean your own shit up.” He finds some space on the floor and goes about his routine like Kyoutani isn’t even there—he starts with his stretches, then a few push-ups, some one-handed just to work out the extra stress, he finishes up with some crunches, sighing softly as his body relaxes out. <br/><br/>Numai checks the time and hops up to his feet in one swift motion. “You’re going to be late and you call <em> me </em> a dipshit.” He shakes his head and walks to the door, pulling it open a little forcefully. “Hurry up.” He slips outside and sees some of the younger students already lining up outside the main building, without checking on Kyoutani, he swears softly and rushes over, slipping into the building through the door at the side. <br/><br/>Kyoutani finished eating and had been trying to ignore the noises coming from Numai as he worked out, but then he heard the soft curse and turned to where Numai was looking. <em> Fuck </em> . Kyoutani wasn’t even changed. Kyoutani rushes up and throws the bowl into the sink, panicking. He strips on his way to the bedroom, and throws on the first things into his drawer, accidentally putting on his shirt inside out, and slides on his sneakers. Finally, he takes off after Numai, sprinting full speed. <br/><br/>Numai keeps his distance from Kyoutani, doesn’t look at him and doesn’t say anything. He silently curses when Aizawa groups them by cabin and he’s forced to pair with Kyoutani—they have eighteen kids to look after and Numai is certainly one of them will make Kyoutani snap. The coach gives each team a schedule and Numai checks theirs, seeing that they’re starting in the large building so they don’t need to move anywhere, the other groups filter out and Numai pulls on his best smile. <br/><br/>“Okay! Make sure to warm up properly, do stretches and a run around the room. Kyoutani-kun and I will set up the net,” He glances at Kyoutani, still smiling. “Won’t we?” <br/><br/>As soon as Kyoutani lays his eyes on the children, he starts fidgeting around, half in excitement, and half in nervous energy. Kyoutani jumps at Numai’s enthusiastic voice, sounding like he’d done this many times before. Flitting his eyes, observing all the kids, Kyoutani answers Numai “Y-yea!” and walks stiffly to the net and poles. <br/><br/>Kyoutani grabs a pole first, arms flexing under its weight and goes to put it in its place. Numai snorts softly, he follows Kyoutani and together they manage to put the net up without a fuss. Numai looks at him softly for a minute and smiles. “Seems like you’re actually a decent guy.” With that comment, he goes to join the kids in running, making sure that they’re not doing anything to hurt themselves. Kyoutani watches Numai run off confused. He was still convinced Numai hates him, but just helping out with the net made him a decent guy? Kyoutani shakes his head to focus.<br/><br/>Once the kids are done, Numai brings them into a circle and splits them into two groups, hanging out two different coloured jerseys, making one side blue and the other red. He smiles and then walks to grab the cart of volleyballs, taking one out to show the kids how he always sets up for a serve. <br/><br/>Seeing Numai with the kids made Kyoutani want to interact also, but he didn’t really know how to start and was fidgeting on the sidelines, before deciding to go over to the other side of the net to shag any balls that Numai might send over. He stands restlessly, shifting his weight side to side as Numai demonstrates. <br/><br/>Numai almost wants to send his best jump serve over the net, straight into Kyoutani, but he knows better than that. He knows the kids aren’t ready for that level. So, he stands in position and first, shows the motion of an underhand serve to the kids, sending the first into the net, he gets them to copy and congratulates them as they get the motion down. <br/><br/>Then he takes them to the service line, showing the motion for sending the ball higher. He sends one over, smiling when Kyoutani receives it. “Nice receive!” He shouts, then starts helping the kids, lining them up so they can copy his motion and send balls over the net towards Kyoutani. Numai makes sure Kyoutani has time to receive before putting the next kid forward. <br/><br/>Numai pauses once all the kids have made a serve each then rushes over to the next. “Hey, Kyoutani, do you wanna switch over?” <br/><br/>Kyoutani goes wide-eyed, and blinks slowly at Numai, and nods uncertainly before jogging over to the line of kids. He waves at them awkwardly before he squats down next to the first kid, asking for their name. Once he gets a name, shouted out proudly by the kid, the corners of Kyoutani’s mouth pick up and he encourages them to serve. As Numai receives the ball on the other side, Kyoutani tells the kids what they can improve on in their technique quietly, and showing the correct arm position as best he could in a squat. The next kid comes up and it’s rinse and repeat from there on, always asking the kids’ names first. </p><p>When he gets to the end of the line he turns to Numai, with a silent question in his eyes. <em> What do we do next? </em> Kyoutani wasn’t sure if they’d go through another round or possibly move on to another drill. <br/><br/>Numai goes back to join Kyoutani and gently taps his shoulder. “Let’s do two groups. You’re better at receiving than I am, so you take one and help them with that and I’ll run through some serving and spiking drills with the other group, then we just switch over. Does that work for you?” <br/><br/>Kyoutani nods, his eyes back on the kids. He divides the kids this time and calls some of them out by name. Kyoutani was pleased that he was able to remember more than half of the names, and sent half of the kids to Numai with a smile, giving one of them a high-five as they walked by. Numai takes his half to the other side of the net, taking far too many glances at Kyoutani...Kyoutani who looks cute as hell chatting with the kids, and maybe his heart flutters a little at the sight but he isn’t going to tell Kyoutani that, he turns to the kids to distract himself. <br/><br/>Kyoutani gathers his group of kids and squats in front of them, as they make a half-circle around him. He starts to carefully explain how to put together your arms to pass the ball, and talks about the physics of how to pass a ball in the most simple terms he could, making small sound effects to mimic the ball hitting his arm. He then lines them up so he can toss to them as they pass back. <br/><br/>Numai teaches his side a passing technique and then a spiking technique. One of the kids picks up the correct motion for setting quickly and Numai congratulates him, Akori, and Numai asks if he wants to try setting for one of the other kids that shows the best spiking ability. <br/><br/>They’re not professionals, of course, it takes a few tries until the ball goes over the net, Hagiko makes a good pass to Akori, who is very quickly getting the hang of setting for Inami. Numai gives Akori instructions on how to set the perfect ball at the right height and Akori smiles, they try and try again until the ball goes smoothly over the net, without hitting the tape. <br/><br/>Akori keeps smiling and he looks to Numai, who congratulates him and gently pats his back. “Do you want to try setting for me? You really just need to make it a little higher.” Akori nods eagerly and Numai takes a few strides back, the first goes into the net and the second grazes the tape. “You’re doing well, Akori.” <br/><br/>“Keep going!” He says in a determined voice and Numai hits another two spikes, both grazing the line, with one falling back to their side. “One more, please. I’ve got this.” <br/><br/>“Okay, okay,” Numai smiles. Akori’s determined nature reminds him of Daishou, he looks certain of his set now and Numai takes another stride back, the same as he would if it was Sakishima setting for him. Akori passes the ball back to Hagiko. “Kyoutani-kun, Can you receive?” He shouts across to Kyoutani. <br/><br/>Kyoutani is in the middle of catching a ball as Numai calls over to him, and he turns back to the kids, bringing them in close like he’s telling a secret and quietly brags, “I’ll show you guys how to pass a <em> really </em> fu-fudgin’ hard-ball.” He laughs nervously at his near slip-up and turns to the court, getting ready to receive. Numai is determined. Hagiko makes a perfect pass to Akori and the set goes up, Numai is quick to run up, jumps with all his might and slams the ball over the net.</p><p>Numai had mentioned he was the ace of his team, and this hit definitely proved that. Kyoutani, luckily, had recently been practising with another heavy hitter from his team, and with his quick reaction time, was just able to pop the ball up. It wasn’t a perfect pass, and the setter would’ve had a harder time getting to the ball, but the kids around him were amazed nonetheless. He grinned, turning back to the kids, giving each of them a high five as they surrounded him, shouting things like, “Woah, so cool!” and “Do it again, again!” Kyoutani snickered and ruffled a kid’s hair.<br/><br/>He turned to Numai, still smiling, “Yo, I bet my guys can dig all the balls your guys hit our way! What d’ya say?” <br/><br/>Numai smirks at Kyoutani, spinning a volleyball between his hands. “Oh, you’re on!” Numai then huddles his side together and gives them a few tips, wishes them luck, he even gets them to do a team cheer. They line up and Numai looks at Kyoutani again, his eyes saying: <em> your turn</em>.</p><p>Kyoutani grins at the challenge and turns towards his team squatting down, and he does some quick motions with his arms, explaining something quietly. One of the kids seems to protest against something, and Kyoutani huffs but nods reluctantly. When he turns around, he screams, “LET’S GO!” and flexes in a stupid pose along with all the other kids surrounding him who erupt in loud screams that fill up the gym. He turns back to the kids, a bit embarrassed, and guides them to a position where they can receive the spikes that are about to be sent their way.<br/><br/>Numai can’t help but laugh at Kyoutani, he’s glad that they’re not close enough for Kyoutani to hear the way he snorts softly. Hakgio is making the passes and Akori is setting, though Numai plans to give them both a chance at sending a spike over too. <br/><br/>The first one to go, Isami, Numai remembers, he’s decent and his spike rattles the receiver on the other side. Then, one-by-one, the kids hit balls over the net to Kyoutani’s group who are enthusiastic with their receives, they try their best, and even if one is off, Numai can imagine that they’ll all be a part of great teams in the future. They all show promise now, even the receivers who get caught off guard, get back up and promise to dig the next one.</p><p>They pass the rest of the practice like that and swap kids so that everyone has an opportunity to hit and receive at some point during the practices. As they wrap up and send the kids to their lunch, Kyoutani is proud to say that he has remembered all the kids names, and high fives some of the kids on his way out, grinning at them. He waves the kids out the door as they’re handed off to another counsellor to the cafeteria. He watches them leave until they're out of view and turns to Numai. He’s tempted to put his hand up for a high-five, and his hand twitches by his side, but he remembers himself, remembers the morning, and automatically faces away, walking off to start taking down the net.</p><p>His face is back in a pensive frown, and the back of his neck feels hot as he takes the antennas and pads off the net. Numai wonders if Kyoutani had wanted something before so suddenly turning away, he doesn’t ask and instead helps with cleaning up. The net is down pretty quickly then Numai runs back and forth, collecting the volleyballs from where they’re scattered on the floor.<br/><br/>He finds the brooms in the cupboard and hands one to Kyoutani, still, he says nothing and instead with a finger, indicates half of the room. He rushes off to do his own half, trying his best to ignore Kyoutani. Kyoutani accepts the broom without looking at Numai and does his own half. But still, when they’re done, Numai wants to ask something. <br/><br/>Numai can’t really figure the question out. He walks over to Kyoutani and pats his shoulder, a little awkwardly. Kyoutani jumps at the sudden hand in at his shoulder. “You’re great with kids. Are you studying to be a teacher or a coach? You’d be really great with them.” He smiles softly, remembers back to the things Oomizu did for him back in high school how he was there when no-one else was. “Well, yeah…” Numai looks away and walks out of the building.</p><p>Kyoutani looks over at Numai confused. He kept getting super hot-and-cold vibes from him, and he wasn’t sure if the guy just barely tolerated him, or hated his guts and was really good at pretending he didn’t. Kyoutani walks out too, not really meaning to follow Numai, heading to the cabin to prepare his own lunch. He wasn’t sure what Numai was planning on eating, or where he planned to go, but he hoped it wasn’t at the cabin, because Kyoutani wasn’t sure if he could handle the ideas of Numai being sculpted as fuck, Numai smiling at him softly, and Numai who seemed to not like him at all for an extended period of time, alone with him right now.<br/><br/>Numai goes to help watch the kids during lunch, he talks with some of the other university students, finds out their names and the positions they play, hen he walks out of the building then goes for a run around the outskirts of the camp, finds a few more university students that he has very brief conversations with. <br/><br/>They have an hour for lunch, so when Numai finally has enough of trying to waste time, he returns to the cabin, not bothering to check for Kyoutani, he digs through the fridge and gets a bottle of water, downing almost half of it in one swig.</p><p>Kyoutani emerges from his room, not expecting company, with his shirt off, holding a bag full of ingredients for ramen in one hand, and his phone on the other. Numai hears the door, but forces himself not to look, he just finishes his water and tosses it in the trash. When Kyoutani finally looks up distractedly from his phone, his eyes go wide as he spots Numai and he rushes back into the room. It’s not like he’s never been seen shirtless before and he wasn’t self-conscious about his body or anything like that, but still, Kyoutani was embarrassed.<br/><br/>He emerges from the room again, with a t-shirt on this time, and walks past Numai to put his ingredients down on the table, and searches the cabinets to scrounge for a pan. Kyoutani coughed awkwardly as he reached his arm into the cabinet, successfully hiding his face behind the cabinet door. Nervously, he mumbled, “Ya eat somethin’ already?” </p><p>Numai looks at Kyoutani, unable to judge whatever expression he’s wearing with his face concealed by the cabinet door. Numai sighs, he grabs an apple from the fridge then goes to sit down at the table. “I don’t eat a lot.” He takes a bite from the apple and eats slowly.<br/><br/>Kyoutani peeks out from the cabinet, frowning with a pot in hand, looks Numai up and down, and is unable to stop himself when he says, “With that fuckin’ body? Yea, right.” He turns to the sink, back to Numai, and is in the middle of pouring water into the pan when he realizes what he said. Kyoutani squeezes his eyes shut in embarrassment, and his shoulders tense. He feels the pot fill with water, and he knows he has to take it out and put it on the stove. He opens his eyes to turn off the water, and side steps to the oven hoping that Numai would only see the back of his head, though he imagined the growing redness on his neck gave him away anyways. <br/><br/>Numai almost chokes on a piece of the apple at Kyoutani’s comment, he looks away from their kitchenette and coughs softly, hiding as much of it as he can into his hand. He can feel the blush biting at his skin. He’s never been shy about not wearing a shirt (okay, maybe there was that one time—) since he’s played volleyball almost his whole life, he’s just gotten used to not caring. <br/><br/>The direct compliment about his looks still makes him blush though and he doesn’t know if saying something will help this at all. So Numai keeps his mouth shut and once his breathing has calmed down, he returns to eating the apple, mostly to smother the urge of wanting to say something, if he’s eating then he’s quiet. Kyoutani can think what he wants to.</p><p>Kyoutani grows more nervous in the silence, not really wanting to turn to see Numai's reaction. He focuses hard on the pot in front of him, watching the water boil as he hears the crunch of Numai silently chewing on his apple. The tension is starting to get to Kyoutani, as bubbles start to form in the pot. He peeks over his shoulder to look at the other, but can't really decipher the look on the others face. He looks back quickly and starts to shift on his feet nervously. </p><p>While Kyoutani feels like he should say something, at least apologizing for making everything so goddamn awkward, he really can't find it in him to bring that into words, and so he quietly watches as the water boils slowly.<br/><br/>Numai finishes the apple and throws the core into the trash then he goes to flop onto the couch, almost sighing with relief when the noise of the television kills the awkward silence in the room. He pulls his phone out and starts looking through his social media, almost jumping out of his skin when it rings suddenly in his hand. “ <em> Fuck. </em> ” <br/><br/>He answers the call with a low hum. “What do you want?” He listens to his brother and sits up suddenly straight. “No, you’re kidding. I’m out here though…” He sighs, head sinking down. “Can I call him? It’s better than nothing. Holy shit, he’s a fucking idiot,” Numai laughs, snorting softly. “Yeah, okay. I’ll video call him later after everything is finished with the kids. Thanks for calling. Alright, alright! Geez, love ya too.” He ends the call and flops back with another sigh. <br/><br/>Kyoutani is in the middle of plating his ramen when Numai receives a call, and while he doesn’t mean to eavesdrop, Numai is <em>right there </em>and it was a little hard not to hear. Kyoutani thinks that maybe this is his chance to relieve some of the tension between him, and he asks, “Everythin’ all right over there?” <br/><br/>“Yeah,” Numai looks over his shoulder at Kyoutani. “It was just my brother. Suguru got into an accident, his own stupid fault. He went through a red light, I swear he thinks he can get away with anything just since his mom is a big-wig lawyer, I’m going to fucking kill him when I get back. He’s lucky, he broke his leg, arm and sprained his collarbone.” Numai groans and throws his head back into the couch. “Sorry, I’m just mad at him.” <br/><br/>Kyoutani nods, unsure of what to say, and takes a large bite out of his ramen, frowning as he thinks of something to say. He decides on, “Well, uh, hope your boyfriend‘s ok then.” and slurps up more ramen looking into his bowl. <br/><br/>“Boyfriend?” Numai frowns. “Suguru? Jesus, no! He has a girlfriend and I’m not fucking tacky like that.” Though certainly a little annoyed about Daishou’s relationship, he wouldn’t tell Kyoutani that anytime soon. “We’ve been friends since we were twelve.” <br/><br/>To that Kyoutani had no other response other than, “Oh.” and then descended into silence once again, the only noise coming from the television and Kyoutani’s occasional slurping. Once he’d finished, he turned back to the sink and began to wash the dishes, trying to keep his mind occupied with something other than the awkward silence between the two. Honestly, Kyoutani wasn’t sure if Numai felt the same awkwardness since Numai seemed to be focused on the television from what he could tell, but Kyoutani felt a bit suffocated. <br/><br/>Each slurp from Kyoutani makes Numai twitch in place. He abruptly gets up, going to fetch his flask from his bag, he puts the kettle on and waits to make himself tea in his flask. His head is still distracted, thinking about how stupid Daishou can be—Numai wishes he was at home, not out here, just to be at Daishou’s side and help him get better, then maybe he would see… Maybe something could come from Numai’s feelings that have stewed away for too many years. <br/><br/>He shakes his head at himself, reaches for the kettle and— " <em> Shit! </em> ” He pulls his hand back, staring at the red mark that already begins to bloom on his skin. Numai rushes to the sink and runs the water, shoving his hand under the spray; he must have caught himself on the kettle at just the wrong angle. “Kyoutani, could you grab my bag from the room, please?” He bites his lip, keeping his gaze away so Kyoutani can’t see how close he is to crying. <br/><br/>Kyoutani blinks at Numai for a second, and then takes off the bedroom, and comes back with Numai’s bag, and opens it staring worriedly at Numai, “What do ya need from ‘ere?” <br/><br/>“You see the white box.” Numai dabs his hand clean with some tissue paper then sinks to the floor, pointing for Kyoutani to sit down. Kyoutani immediately follows his orders. “Inside the white box there’s some cream for burns, and there’s some gauze in there too, just to cover it for now.” He clenches his eyes, sniffling softly when the first tear prickles past his eyelashes and drips onto his cheek. <br/><br/>It isn’t just about the burn, all his memories rush back like a speed train wracking his mind. Times when a burn like this wasn’t an accident when he wouldn’t get the treatment he needed and was left with scars littered along his thighs—the big scar he has on his torso, hidden by his tattoo. Numai drops his head, holding his arm tightly, so his hand is away from his body and quietly sobs.</p><p>Kyoutani has gone into an emergency-instinct mode and focuses on tending to Numai’s hand carefully, using one hand to hold the other’s gingerly, and the other to awkwardly apply all the proper creams and gauze to the hand. When he’s finally satisfied with his work, Kyoutani’s head snaps up to see the sobbing Numai and he freezes.</p><p>He knew there were different kinds of people in the world, people who liked physical comfort, those who liked verbal comfort, and those who preferred a silent body to just be there with them. Oftentimes, if people were comforted in the way they didn’t like, they snapped, and that was the last thing Kyoutani wanted from Numai right now. Seeing as they had just met yesterday, Kyoutani had no idea what to do with the emotional Numai in front of him and ended up frozen in front of him, barely even breathing. <br/><br/>Eventually, Kyoutani found the little bit of courage he still had in him to ask, “Uh… you need anything’?”. <br/><br/>Numai brings up his good hand to wipe away his tears. “Tissue?” He sniffles, voice quiet. Kyoutani automatically grabs paper towels from the counter and holds it out to Numai. “Sorry. I know you don’t like me…I’m a big cry baby. I’m sorry.” Half of it doesn’t feel like he’s apologising to Kyoutani, he feels like he’s ten again, apologising over and over to his parents. “Could…” He snaps his mouth shut, shakes his head, dries his tears and sniffles again. “I’m sorry. Can you just hold me for a minute?”<br/><br/>Silently, Kyoutani shuffles beside Numai on his knees, and carefully places an arm around the other's shoulders, pulling the other’s head into his neck. He awkwardly pats the other’s shoulders as before he can really think about what he’s doing. He’s not sure what led him here, holding Numai to himself, but he knew the signs of a panic attack when he saw them. He also knew that Numai wasn’t too fond of him, and asking for physical comfort must’ve been pretty hard for him. So, even if he didn’t really know the guy, it was really the least he could do in this situation. <br/><br/>Numai lets himself fall into Kyoutani’s embrace, sniffles quietly and breathes slowly, his eyes still closed. Maybe like this, he can pretend it’s Daishou with him, caring and comforting. Numai turns his head, gently kisses the edge of Kyoutani’s jaw and exhales a soft <em>thank you</em>, with his eyes still closed, he can imagine Daishou’s voice in his head, telling him everything will be okay and he shirts a touch further, ghosting his lips just over Kyoutani’s. “You mean so much to me,” He whispers, bumps their noses and foreheads together. “Hold me tighter,” He begs, voice still shaking. “Please, Suguru.” <br/><br/>Kyoutani goes stiff at the first kiss against his jaw, and something feels wrong from the first thank you, and his blood runs cold at their lips so close together. He was about to ask exactly how sober Numai was when he heard some other name out of Numai’s mouth. Startled, Kyoutani pushes Numai away from him, and stands up, stumbling backwards. He could comfort someone in a panic but he wasn’t gonna pretend to be someone’s fuckin’ lover. His stomach churned at the thought. He wasn’t here to be someone else. Sounding scared, Kyoutani says, “I’m not your fuckin’ boyfriend".</p><p>Numai blinks, eyes flickering open, he quickly covers his mouth, tipping his head down in shame. “I didn’t—” He stops himself, there’s no point in trying to defend himself because he’d let himself fall into his safe space in his mind, let the real Kyoutani replace a figment, and it was unfair.</p><p>Kyoutani almost trips over himself as he runs into the bathroom shutting the door behind him and turns on the sink with cold water and shoves his head under, trying to calm himself down. He really didn’t like the thought of leaving someone so vulnerable all alone, but Kyoutani was feeling a little vulnerable himself and needed to escape, if not he was probably gonna do something he really regretted and get kicked out from the camp. Maybe he did need to change his cabin mate.<br/><br/>Numai had watched Kyoutani go without a word before pulling himself to his feet, he cleans his face off using the kitchen sink then walks to the bathroom and gently nods. “I’m really sorry. I’m going out.” He doesn’t expect a reply, so he doesn’t wait for one, he leaves, pulling his sneakers on at the door then flees, going for a long run around the camp. <br/><br/>Kyoutani jumps at the voice, hitting his head on the faucet and muttering, “Ow, shit.” He gets up carefully, holding the back of his head and turns off the water just in time to hear the front door open and shut closed. Kyoutani pinched the bridge of his nose, dripping water all over the floor. He finally grabs a towel and starts rubbing at his hair, thinking about what just happened and trying to properly process everything, which was proving to be difficult. </p><p>Huffing, Kyoutani decides that he’ll just try to forget about it and bursts out of the bathroom with full intent to go to the gym and work this off when he realizes that there is a second activity set up for the afternoon, and dinner after that. Kyoutani scowls and glares at the empty room. He rubs the back of his head, feeling the small bruise that had formed there. Today really wasn’t his day, but he had responsibilities.</p><p>Kyoutani left for the gym, where he found the kids there waiting, with no Numai. Greeting the kids as enthusiastically as he could, he started separating the children into a group of spikers and a group of setters and liberos so that when Numai arrived, he could just hand off a group and focus on the kids alone. <br/><br/>Numai spends as long as he can away from Kyoutani then his watch buzzes with a reminder and with a sigh, he heads for the gymnasium. He finds Kyoutani and the kids already separated into two groups, he apologises with a bow, avoiding Kyoutani’s gaze even as he asks, “What’s the plan?” <br/><br/>Instead of answering Numai, Kyoutani turns to the kids announcing, “Ok, spikers, head over with Numai-san, and setters and liberos follow me!” He leads his own group of kids towards the first court and starts to explain a drill while going over the technique of passing and setting. Kyoutani is determined to maintain, at the very least, their professional boundary as he continues teaching the kids, and he figures the best way to do that is to completely separate anything personal from their workplace. <br/><br/>Numai takes the group of kids without saying anything. He doesn’t expect Kyoutani to talk to him after what happened but for some reason, it still pains him to see how Kyoutani brushed off the question so easily. He already wants to apologise again. But he just turns to the kids and starts explaining some spiking drills, acting out some of the poses so they can see what everything should look like.</p><p>Kyoutani can’t help but focus seriously on his drills and making sure to go up individually to each kid to give them advice, doing everything he can to keep himself occupied. While doing all that, time seems to pass by quickly, and before he knows it, another camp counsellor gets the kids to take them to dinner. Kyoutani waves goodbye to his kids, and gives the customary high-fives and hair ruffles. When the kids have all gone, Kyoutani glanced nervously at Numai, not really sure how to act around him, especially considering he still hasn’t fully processed today’s events, and he walks out of the gym quickly. Kyoutani didn’t really want to waste money on food, but he was planning on going out so that he wouldn’t potentially be stuck in the cabin with Numai.</p><p>Numai focuses on cleaning up, even as he feels Kyoutani's gaze, he startles a little when the door opens suddenly. He turns his head, barely catching Kyoutani’s back as he vanishes out the door. Numai looks down, biting his lip, he keeps his head down and finishes the cleaning before heading out.<br/><br/>He goes for another run, three laps before heading to the cabin. He makes cup noodles and once he’s eaten, he showers, changes into sweats and drops face-down onto the couch, groaning quietly into the fabric. <br/><br/>Kyoutani finds himself at a small local restaurant, and sits quietly in the corner alone, thinking as he eats. He collects all these thoughts around Numai, considering everything. Kyoutani is very unclear on how Numai really feels about him, at the very least. It started with Numai being clearly annoyed about having another roommate, to offering him food, accepting his fate, and coming out to him, then being mad at him, but still sleeping on the couch, and waking him up, basically naked, and making smiling at him during morning practice, which, a <em> huge contrast </em>to the night before, and then during lunch, all that happening, and maybe, all those times where Numai was nice and smiling at him, he was really thinking of that Suguru guy, but really didn’t like Kyoutani himself. Kyoutani ordered himself a drink, not enough to get him tipsy or anything, but something to take the edge off.</p><p>Almost done with his meal, Kyoutani starts contemplating on how he really feels about Numai. He supposes he pities the guy a bit, for being in love with that Suguru guy with a girlfriend. However, Numai was also, unfortunately, super fuckin’ hot, and Kyoutani was starting to wonder if he was only attracted to muscular aces. If he really considered it, Numai never did anything mean or rude to him, and had actually provided him with some meals, made him tea, and helped him interact with the kids the first time. Plus, every time Numai seemed mad at him it had felt like a defensive response for some reason that Kyoutani couldn’t determine. It made Kyoutani curious, but only so he’d stop accidentally triggering the guy. All in all, Kyoutani couldn’t really get himself to hate Numai, no matter how bad he wanted to. He decides he just feels bad for the guy, thinks he’s kinda hot, and will just try and avoid the other guy as much as he could outside of mandatory camp practices so that they didn’t clash again. He’s pretty sure Numai would appreciate the last sentiment at least.</p><p>Kyoutani finishes his meal, pays, and makes his way back to camp, and walks around aimlessly, not really wanting to head back to the cabin just yet, and hoping Numai would be asleep when he finally decides to head back.<br/><br/>Numai shifts around on the couch getting slightly uncomfortable with how empty and quiet it is in the cabin, he wishes Kyoutani was there just so there was a distraction. He knows he could turn the television on but he doesn’t want to. It’s easy to sink into the silence, face-down on the couch and breathing slow. He knows there isn’t anything he can do to make things better with Kyoutani, even if he explained himself and apologised again, it didn't change how he’d called Daishou’s name and almost kissed Kyoutani. Almost kissed him, like a huge fucking idiot, and if Kyoutani didn’t hate him, he probably would by now…</p><p>Kyoutani arrives at the cabin, deeming it sufficiently late enough to come in. He carefully opens and closes the door, trying to make the least amount of noise possible. He stays as silent as he can and listens for any noise throughout the cabin. It’s so quiet that Kyoutani starts to think that Numai had the same idea he had, and left to go outside. Just to be sure, Kyoutani first checks the bedroom, then the bathroom, assuming that Numai was either in bed or getting ready to sleep. Kyoutani sighs, and begins walking towards the couch so he could set up to sleep there and is surprised to see Numai there, passed out on the couch.</p><p>Last time he tried to check if Numai was awake, the other guy snapped at him, but Kyoutani really didn’t know any better way other than tapping at the guy’s knee and whispering “You awake?” Numai hums, his body shifts over at the touch, so he’s no longer face-down and he lets out a breath. Kyoutani holds his breath as Numai shifts, and lets out a sigh of relief and watches Numai sleeping face. Numai, except for a select few times, always seemed to have a slightly annoyed expression every time he looked at him, but now his face was relaxed, and his mouth hangs open. For a moment, Kyoutani felt his heart squeeze, but then he quickly pushed that thought to the back of his heat. Numai was just some pitiful hot guy. That’s why Kyoutani was gonna take him to the bed.</p><p>At a snail’s pace, Kyoutani slips his arms behind Numai’s back and under his knee to prepare to carry him. Gently, Kyoutani lifts Numai into his arms, who was lighter than he had anticipated and walks towards the bedroom. Numai grips onto Kyoutani’s arm, still asleep, he nuzzles his head against the softness under his head. Kyoutani intakes a sharp breath, glaring forward as his neck gets warm. He was going to make it to the bedroom without looking at Numai, even if it killed him. Finally, Kyoutani found himself at the edge of the bed. Cautiously, Kyoutani laid Numai down onto the bed, placed his head on a pillow and folded the covers over him. Backing up, Kyoutani put his hands on his hips as he looked down at Numai, settled comfortably on the bed, and ignored the squeeze of his heart as he did. Relieved that he’d managed to move Numai without disturbing him, Kyoutani sighs, and goes to take a quick shower. He really didn’t want Numai to get up in the middle, so Kyoutani manages a five-minute shower, and walks back into the room to grab some clothes.</p><p>He peeks at Numai, and turns back to open the drawer painfully slowly, grabs his clothes, and quietly dresses, not even bothering to close the drawer back up. As Kyoutani begins to tip-toes his way out, he hears Numai shift in his sleep, his face and eyebrows contouring downwards. “Mom, back…” Numai curls over, body shuddering. “Mom, ‘m sorry. Please.” Kyoutani looks back worriedly to Numai. Had Numai been even a bit quieter, Kyoutani would have missed his pleas. Kyoutani makes his way back to the bed, just for a quick check-up, to make sure Numai was okay. I mean, he already felt bad about his romance situation, and now he had problems with his family? The least Kyoutani could do was check-up on the guy. The pressure on the bed makes Numai roll over, he reaches out and grabs quickly, holding on tightly. “Forgive me, mom.” He mutters, a tear rolling down his cheek.</p><p>Kyoutani stills. His arm was trapped in Numai’s grasp, and Numai was even crying in his sleep. Figuring it was a bad dream, Kyoutani tries the first rational thing that pops up in his head and gently shakes Numai so that he’d at least wake up and scream at Kyoutani instead of making Kyoutani’s heart flip out.</p><p>Numai’s eyes snap open with a soft whimper, he doesn’t even look at Kyoutani and quickly turns his body away. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” He sniffles, shaking his head. “I’m not crying. Don’t hurt me. I-I’m sorry, mom.”<br/><br/>Kyoutani’s chest feels heavy and his eyebrows drawdown. At that moment, Kyoutani decides he’ll try anything to make Numai feel better to wake up from whatever delusion he’s having, even if Numai thinks he’s Suguru or some shit. No one ever deserves to feel this way, feeling like they had to say sorry about crying like crying isn't a natural human process. That was bullshit. So knowing Numai probably likes physical comfort, and probably doesn’t like him, Kyoutani wraps his arms around Numai’s body and pulls him close. In a low voice, he says, “It’s okay. I’m here. You can cry.” He’s careful not to mention anything that might indicate that he’s himself, and hopes that Numai just gets lost in the comfort of who he probably thinks of as Suguru. His heart aches at the thought, but Kyoutani just brushes it off as pity.</p><p>Numai pulls in a sharp breath, his whole body goes rigid. The soft, calming voice washes over him and he shakes his head. “Don’t,” He croaks out, still hiding his face down into the pillow. “Kyoutani. Stop, you don’t need to give me pity. I know you don’t care.” He scrunches the cover into his fists. “I know I’m not a good person, it’s fine. I’m used to the nightmares, you can leave me alone. I’ll be okay.”<br/><br/>Kyoutani freezes at the mention of his name, and his breath catches in his throat. He detangles himself from Numai and sits back up. Numai feels the shift of the bed and he almost reaches out to stop Kyoutani from going. Kyoutani looks at Numai and says, “Well, you’re not a bad person either, so. ‘Sides doesn’t matter if I care or not, no one deserves to be… well… y’know. I’ll leave ya alone.” Kyoutani throws his legs off the bed to follow up on his statement. <br/><br/>“I am. Why else would—” Numai clamps his mouth shut, he shifts in the bed and tucks the covers under his chin. “Sorry to bother you. You probably want to sleep.” He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, trying to relax while desperately wishing he was alone.</p><p>Kyoutani gets up and walks to the door, and pauses right before he exits. He looks back, and his chest feels weighty. With more certainty, Kyoutani says, “You’re not a bad person.” and exits. Numai doesn’t bother trying again to tell Kyoutani that he’s completely wrong, after all, it didn’t make sense, if Numai had anything good about him then his own parents wouldn’t have done the things they did. He’d be fine now, he wouldn’t be having nightmares or get scared of loud voices, or cry the moment he got hurt—but that wasn’t true, he got scared and he cried, because of what they did. Because he was awful and bad.<br/><br/>With a sigh, Kyoutani flops back onto the couch and hugs a pillow to his side, burying his face in it. He shuts his eyes and tries to go to sleep, but can’t get the image of Numai vulnerable and crying out of his head. Kyoutani was very tempted to get up and comfort Numai, but he knew it wasn’t his place. Numai made that much clear.</p><p>But he needed to sleep, and checking his phone, he knew he’d have to be up early in the morning. He set his alarm properly, finally remembering to do so, and put on some white noise video to help him fall asleep. After a few fitful hours, Kyoutani finally manages to focus on something other than Numai’s pained face and falls asleep, exhausted.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Staying Afloat</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>let's ignore that I'm three days late hahaha</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Numai wakes, before dawn again with a yelp, he covers his mouth and wishes he could see in the dark to check if he woke Kyoutani. He scuries to his feet and rushes into the bathroom, shutting the door a little harsher than he means to. He runs the tap on the sink and fills it until he can duck his head into the water, slamming his hands against the counter as he holds himself there.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani, though normally wasn’t a light sleeper, was still on edge from the previous night, heard Numai, and shot up on the couch. He jumped up at the sound of the bathroom door and rushed over. Numai seemed a little unstable last night, and Kyoutani was still worried about him. Leaning his ear against the door and knocking lightly, Kyoutani asks, “You can tell me to fuck off, but everythin’ alright in there?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Numai pulls back to take a breath when he hears the knock at the door. He shakes his head to himself and ignores Kyoutani, he catches his breath, with slow, shallow breaths. Then he slaps his hands against the counter again and dunks his head back under the water. He can't get rid of the thoughts on his head and he's certain that if he doesn't stay there, he's going to cry again. </span>
  <span>All he can think about it is the rough hit against his side, followed by something sharp and dangerous. He screams into the water then pulls back gasping, he looks around the room as if he's a cornered animal then reaches up and digs through the medicine cupboard, there's nothing there to help. The first sob comes and he tries to shake it away by gently pressing his palms against his cheeks, holding firm. <br/><br/></span>
  <span>“Stop.” He whispers to himself. “Shut up,” he chokes softly and lets himself fall to the floor, pressing his head against the side of the counter. “Idiot. Just a stupid idiot…” He pushes himself up on his knees then pulls himself all the way to his feet and growls at his reflection, taking a deep breath so he can dunk his head under the water again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kyoutani is alarmed at all the noises behind the dorm, and hears the water splash and says “Yo, everything all right? I’m gonna break in if you don’t answer.” and goes silent, heart pounding. He’s not sure what’s going on in there, and with the episode yesterday, Kyoutani was more than worried for the guy’s sanity.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Numai holds himself in place as long as possible then pulls back, gasping loudly for breath. He quickly grabs a towel and falls to the floor while he presses the towel to his face, sobbing quietly into the fabric, his whole body shaking. The cabin is quiet enough at this time in the morning, for Kyoutani to hear the muffled sobs after a loud breath, and Kyoutani opens the door, surprised to find it unlocked, and looks wide-eyed at Numai on the floor. Even with the towel over his face, Numai’s hair is dripping wet, creating pools on the floor. Kyoutani’s eyes catch the sink, filled with water and he gasps silently.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Moving on instinct, Kyoutani grabs his towel off the rack and wraps it around Numai’s shoulders. He’s not sure if Numai actually liked uninvited physical comfort thanks to last night's events, so he hangs back, kneeling next to Numai, waiting for his reaction.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you doing?” Numai peaks up from the towel, bringing it up to rest over his hair. “You can't keep pretending like this. I'm only going to hurt you again,” He looks away, bringing just the corners of the towel down to press against his eyes as he sobs again. “You won't believe me. You probably won't trust me. But I didn't mean for that to happen…I went to my safe space and that isn't fair on you. I'm sorry. You're better off leaving me alone here. I'm fucked up, you should just get away before I hurt you again. It's the only thing I'm good at.” He reaches out for the counter again and pulls himself up, his legs still a little unsteady, he stares into the sink and trails his fingers through the water. “I need something else. This isn't enough.” He rubs the towel over his hair then throws it aside and takes a shaky breath, he reaches up and places his palm against the mirror and shakes his head. “I'm… So stupid.” He takes another deep breath and grips tightly onto the counter dipping his head back down to the water. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kyoutani watches the whole affair with wide-eyes and snaps into action when Numai goes to put his head underwater. He pulls Numai back, taking the others head out of the water, and wraps his arms around the other's body to lift him up, and out of the bathroom, Numai gasps at the contact, he shakes his legs and wiggles his body in the grip but it’s too tight for him to get away from. Finally, Kyoutani sits Numai in a chair and sits down on top of him to prevent Numai from getting up. He grips the back of the chair so that if Numai shoved him, he wouldn’t go flying backwards, and says, “Numai, I need to to look at me and breathe. I’m gonna keep talking, but you gotta breathe, man. You deserve to breathe that air. You’re not gonna fuckin’ hurt me or whatever, I’m not a pissbaby, so just sit here and breathe, dude. If you need to fuckin’ punch me or whatever to feel better, fuckin’ do it, I’ll take it, but you need to fuckin’ </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> try to hurt yourself. You don’t deserve that shit. You’re a goddamn human being just like me and you deserve to be here, breathe this goddamn air, and you deserve to feel whatever the fuck you’re feeling. So you need to fuckin’ </span>
  <em>
    <span>breathe</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” Kyoutani’s panting once he’s done, looking at Numai in the eyes the whole way through.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Numai is stunned by Kyoutani’s actions, he stares back at Kyoutani and follows his instructions, breathing slowly. “I...No. Why Kyoutani? Why do you want to help me after what I did? I fucked up. I’m stupid. I didn’t mean to hurt you…” He takes a shaky breath and scrunches his eyes. “Why?” He sobs, it’s not even just Kyoutani, it’s everything else outside of this moment, all the memories that are coming back to haunt him.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>If he’d been good and normal, then he wouldn’t be like this, he wouldn’t be falling apart in front of someone who’s a stranger, someone who might go out and tell everything that he’s sharing a cabin with a complete freak, someone who one day tries to initiate a kiss then the next day is having a breakdown in the bathroom.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Kyoutani. Just tell me why…” Numai leans forward and drops his head against Kyoutani’s chest. “Why did they hate me so much? Why me? What did I do wrong? Why aren’t I normal?” He reaches up to grab Kyoutani’s shirt, slowly and gently rocking his head back and forth so it drops into Kyoutani’s chest at a steady rhythm. Kyoutani brings a hand to the back of Numai’s head and pulls it to his chest so that he would stay put there, instead of banging his head against it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Y’know I spent a lot of time last night processing whatever the fuck happened last night, and I came to the deduction that you’re not a shitty guy. I get that we’re literal fuckin’ strangers and shit, but I’m a pretty honest guy. So it’s a lot, but fuckin’ trust me on this one. Also, I have no idea who the fuck hates you or whatever but fuck them, because trust me, I tried my best to fuckin’ hate you, but I couldn’t. And I’m a pretty hateful person. Jesus, we’re really learning about each other this morning, huh?” Kyoutani huffed, “Yea, probably not the time for that. But uh. I know I probably don’t count for much, but I don’t hate you and being normal sucks ass anyway so. Yea.” With that, Kyoutani fully embraces Numai, and awkwardly pats the other’s back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You…don’t hate me?” Numai whispers, voice still cracked from the way he’s been crying. “You know I’m sorry, right?” He pulls back to look up at Kyoutani. “I uh… I don’t expect you to believe what I say but I wanna tell you anyway. Suguru—Uh </span>
  <em>
    <span>Daishou</span>
  </em>
  <span>, he is my best friend, we’ve known each other since junior high, met on the volleyball team and continued into high school together. I realised I liked him and just guys in general. He was always there for me when I needed him so he became my safe space too, when I get like this. Still, I shouldn’t have gotten you involved like that, I thought I was fine after he got a girlfriend, but obviously not.” <br/><br/></span>
  <span>Numai takes a breath and studies Kyoutani’s face trying to see if any of his emotions show, Kyoutani just has a pensive frown on his face, so Numai continues. “I didn’t think I’d get that bad to need my safe space. I usually go on a run or...I do the water thing, just to escape for awhile and yeah…” Kyoutani stays silent for a long moment thinking. He then seems to realize the position that they're in, and now that everything’s calmed down a bit, the back of his neck gets warm. Kyoutani gets off of Numai’s lap awkwardly, and goes to sit in a chair across from Numai. He sits down, and looks at Numai once more, squinting at him as if to figure something out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Finally, he says, “Okay. I believe you. But uh, please don’t do that water thing. If you have to hug me and pretend I’m fuckin’ Daishou or whatever, I’d prefer that over you tryna almost goddamn drown yourself.” Kyoutani rubs at the back of his neck. “Fuck, didn’t mean to, uh say that like a shit head. But. Yea.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It's fine. I've had people speak worse to me. And I wasn't trying to drown myself. It's just easier underwater, I don't think that way. Usually if I wasn't out here then I go to the pool and swim for a few hours. I know it's weird, but I'm not going to pretend that you're Suguru, I know you're not and I'm not a kid anymore, it's time to let go. All my habits are stupid.” Numai pulls up the towel that's still on his shoulders and starts drying his hair, he looks towards the bathroom door and sighs. “Do you mind cleaning up in there? I probably made a mess and I'd rather just sit here and breathe.” Kyoutani nods, getting up, and looks back at Numai one last time before leaving to the bathroom to clean everything up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With Kyoutani gone, Numai wanders out of the bedroom and into the lounge, he finishes drying his hair, wipes his face then drops the towel on the back of the couch. He pulls on his sneakers and quietly slips out of the door, this time on his run, he leaves the confines of the camp-line and disappears off into the distance.<br/><br/></span>
  <span>Kyoutani finally finishes in the bathroom, picking up all the things thrown around, properly draining the sink, and wiping down everything with an extra towel. When he’s done, he stands up, and hears his alarm to wake up go off. Kyoutani sighs, already tired. He couldn’t imagine how exhausted Numai was. Kyoutani walks into the bedroom, to look for Numai beginning to offer to make breakfast, only to find Numai wasn't there. Kyoutani didn’t hear Numai move out of the bedroom, maybe he was distracted, but he finds that Numai isn’t in the living room either. “Fuck.” he mutters under his breath, “Numai!” he shouts and waits in silence as he waits for an answer. Starting to panic, Kyoutani searched every part of the house again, until he realized that Numai’s shoes were gone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Numai said he ran when he was stressed right? Kyoutani scratches at the back of his head, sighing. Numai probably went on a run. Kyoutani could make breakfast for when he got back. With that, Kyoutani heads towards the kitchen and starts preparing to make omelettes.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Numai isn’t sure how long he runs for, he takes a break at one point to breathe and crouches down to think. He’s certain that Kyoutani thinks he’s some kind of freak, realistically, someone normal didn’t do things like that. With a sigh, Numai straightens up and runs back to the camp, slowing down when the cabin comes into view. He hopes that Kyoutani is up and about, maybe going to see some of the kids while they have breakfast and get ready for the day.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>He pushes open the door and toes off his shoes, going to grab a bottle of water from the fridge without taking a look around. Kyoutani raises his eyebrow, cleaning up his plate as he watches Numai take a swig from his water bottle like he just went on a casual run and didn’t have a panic attack this morning. Clearing his throat to get Numai’s attention, he gestures to the omelette on the table saying, “I dunno your dietary restrictions or whatever so I didn’t put any meat or cheese, but it has some peppers and onions. Might be a little cold by now but eat.” With that, he dries his hands, and leaves to the room to do a quick-morning workout and change for the day.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Numai turns his head at Kyoutani’s voice, he glances towards the plate and nods without a word. Numai sits down, digging into the omelette while Kyoutani heads out of the room. He finishes eating, then goes to the sink and washes up. He does his early morning work-out, with sit-ups and push-ups then glances into the bedroom to shout out, “Hey, can I take a shower?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kyoutani is a bit confused why Numai was asking him for permission to take a shower, but Kyoutani yells back, “Go for it!” He’d just finished his workout, light enough that he didn’t sweat, though he had to take his shirt off mid-way through, and was stretching out before he changed.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Numai walks into the bedroom, his eyes fall to Kyoutani and he feels heat clawing its way up to his neck, blooming strong over his ears. “Uh, I wasn’t sure if you’d be…” He points to the bathroom door and ducks his head down. “Yeah.” He clears his throat and rushes to the bathroom, closing and locking the door behind him with a soft curse. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>He turns the shower on and closes his eyes for a moment, listening to the water as his heart pounds loudly in his chest, he checks himself in the mirror, not at all surprised to see how red he is. There was no lying that Kyoutani was gorgeous, just stretching, shirtless as if he doesn’t have ridiculously amazing muscles. He slides to the floor so he can sit there and bury his head into his arms, desperately wondering how he can forget what he’d seen.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani didn’t look back at Numai when he’d entered the room, and finished his stretching calmly, and put on his clothes for the day, humming underneath his breath. He walks to the door of the bathroom, knocks and announces, “We got ten minutes, and I need to brush my teeth, so don’t take forever in there.” and walks into the living room to sit on the couch and play on his phone as he waits.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>It isn’t until Numai is done with his shower that he realises he didn’t bring in any clean clothes, he shuts off the water and shifts around his hair so it looks a little nicer. Then he grabs his dirty clothes, unlocks the door and walks out. “I uh, forgot my shit again. If you close the door, I can dress while you’re brushing your teeth.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kyoutani glances over the couch, and turns quickly back to face forward, away from Numai. He mutters a curse under his breath and then replies, “Yea, go get your shit.” and waits for Numai to move to the bedroom before he goes into the bathroom. </span>
  <span>Numai walks into the bedroom, he puts his clothes in their laundry bin then digs through the closet for some clean clothes. It had been warm when he went on his run, so he grabs some shorts for the day, not wanting to melt in the heat and a thin polo shirt then dries his hair, avoiding looking towards Kyoutani.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani rushes into the bathroom closes the door and gets his stuff done quickly. He finishes swiping the eyeliner around his eyes expertly, and walks out, adjusting his t-shirt nervously. He moves to the bedroom and knocks without looking in (still worried about the amount of clothing Numai might be wearing, or rather the lack of them), saying “I’m ready, just need to grab my keys and wallet in there and we can head out.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Numai dresses as quickly as he can and jumps a little at the knock. He makes sure the shorts are long enough to cover the scars on his thighs and upon noticing some, he sighs and focuses on making sure his hair is dry, hiding a little behind the towel. “Yeah, I’m done now, you can come in.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani nods, even though he’s pretty sure Numai can’t see him, and enters the room, swiping his keys and wallet on the bedside table, pocketing them in his joggers. He peeks at Numai quickly, and looks him up and down, taking in all the bare skin exposed today, flushing, and then turning back around to exit the cabin. “Let’s go! I’m leaving your ass if you don’t move!” he shouts behind him as he opens the door to the cabin.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Numai hurries after Kyoutani with a loud sigh and a roll of his eyes that Kyoutani can’t see. “Yeah, I’m moving!” They head out together and head over to the main building to get their schedule for the day. The morning was uneventful, as Kyoutani and Numai worked together easily, whatever tension there was from last time, mostly gone. They ate lunch together as well, just sitting quietly in each other's presence in the cabin, as the television filled any silence. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The morning passes quickly like that, Kyoutani and Numai working in tandem without a word until the afternoon practice starts. Just coming back from lunch, the kids were rowdy and hopped on sugar. It was a kid’s birthday and the whole camp bought candy and cupcakes for the occasion, much to the chagrin of the counsellors and coaches who had to deal with the aftereffects of the decision.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Numai smiles fondly at the kids, remembering when he was their age and unaware of the monsters in the real world. Most of the time he wishes he could go back and try over, but seeing the joy with these kids was enough to chase away that urge for once and he was happy just watching them, splitting any kids apart that looked like they might be ready to fight.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>They take up the second court in the gymnasium and Numai goes through the plan for the day, with Kyoutani at his side supporting him. The kids are split into two groups as usual and Numai hands out yellow jerseys to one side. He’s thankful that there are just enough kids to put together a small game, just one set, first to ten points, so the kids can put what they learned into action and Numai can work with Kyoutani putting notes together for anything that needs improvement.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kyoutani was happy to take a more backseat role as Numai explains the plan, not really excellent at explaining things that weren’t directly tied to volleyball. He’s excited to finally start a game with the kids. The drills and stuff from the days before had been built up to this game, something to get the competitive blood in the kids flowing, and a chance to see who would really make it in a game. Kyoutani was twitching in excitement as the first point was served, a high underhand serve that made it cleanly over the net.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>In a professional game, it probably could have been a nice service ace and Numai is proud to see that the kids are doing well. It veers off-course though and one of the kids bumps it up for a free ball. Eventually, the point is scored by the side in the yellow jersey’s and Numai cheers them on, with Kyoutani at his side. Just as one of the kids is rushing to retrieve the ball from where it landed, the next server is a little </span>
  <em>
    <span>too</span>
  </em>
  <span> eager and Numai is frozen still as the ball spins towards the kid picking up the loose ball.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani is nearby and wastes no time jumping in front of the kid and wrapping his body around them. Numai’s brain kicks into gear the second he sees Kyoutani move, he’s a couple of steps behind and as Kyoutani protects the kid with his body Numai can picture himself there, in Kyoutani’s arms and he uses his running ability to get in the way and stop the ball before it can hit Kyoutani. “Ow.” He mutters as it hits the back of his shoulder. “You two okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kyoutani blinks up at Numai, surprised, not expecting Numai to jump in front of them, especially from that far away. He unwraps himself from around the kid, to properly look back at Numai, but he spots a small scar from this close and at this angle, upon looking closer he can see many scars on Numai’s legs. Quickly, Kyoutani averts his eyes, turning his attention back to the kid, and sending them off. Kyoutani squints at Numai, confused, and says, “Yeah, we’re good, uh. Thanks, I guess.” With that Kyoutani nods and goes back onto the court to help another kid with their passing.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Numai rolls his shoulder, cursing softly to himself. He watches Kyoutani with the other kid, he grabs the abandoned ball and hurries to put it away in the cart. He goes to the kid who served the ball and crouches down to talk to him, showing him an efficient way to serve quickly once the whistle has been blown, reminding him to be careful and aware of other players or ball boys that might be around. With a small pat on the kid’s head, Numai gets up and heads towards Kyoutani.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>The game is still unfinished and Numai wants to check with Kyoutani before assuming that they’re going to move on. He clears his throat once he’s close enough. “Do you wanna finish the game or should we just practice some things with the kids? They don’t have a lot of experience so we could sit them down and talk more about game awareness and stuff.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani furrows his brows, running through their options and says, “I think I'll finish the game. Think it’s more effective to talk to them about game awareness after they’ve done a whole game.” He looks at Numai to confirm.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Alright then. Let’s get to it.” Numai smiles, he gently pats Kyoutani’s arm then walks to the side of the court, clapping his hands to get the kids attention. “Come on, we’re gonna finish up those games then run a few drills, cool-down and go to dinner. You guys have got this! Stay aware and keep going.” The kids shout back and Numai turns to look at Kyoutani, a bright smile lighting up his face.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani watches Numai with a contemplative glower on his face. The scars on his thighs, all the things he’s learned about Numai, all come sliding together in a cohesive story, and Kyoutani’s heart squeezes tight. He’d said it before, but Kyoutani truly believed that Numai didn’t deserve to have gone through what he did and to continue to suffer the consequences. As he processed that Numai was no longer a human that deserved better, but he was Numai himself who deserved better, Kyoutani stilled where he was, a scowl still present on his face. Snapping out of his daze, Kyoutani shakes his head and walks over next to Numai with his arms crossed to watch the rest of the game.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The kids have a lot of fun, and the losers took their loss better than Kyoutani had sometimes. Kyoutani felt proud of them, even if they didn’t win anyways. He made sure to give them all high-fives as they were all led to dinner, calling them by name. Kyoutani turns to smile, and pat Numai on the back as he went to take down the net for the day and clean up.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Numai is surprised to see Kyoutani </span>
  <em>
    <span>smile</span>
  </em>
  <span>, he stares bewildered and desperately tries to shake off the feeling. Of the way his heart responds to the sight as if he could feel something for Kyoutani. He swallows then goes to help with taking the net down and cleaning up. Once they’re done, Numai bumps their shoulders together. “I’m making dinner, come on. Tell me it sucks and you can spit it out.” </span>
  <span>He leads Kyoutani out of the building and back to the cabin. He kicks off his shoes and goes to the kitchen, he pulls out a pack of plain noodles, a pan from the cupboard then a pack of vegetables and chicken that’s been transferred from the freezer to the fridge.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>He hums as he works, washing his hands then chopping up the chicken first, he lines the pan with oil and drops in the chicken. He finds some spices in the cupboard and sets them out on the counter. “You can sit down, y’know.”  He points the mixing spoon at Kyoutani then at the table. “If I need help, I promise I’ll ask.” He turns back, mixing the chicken to make sure it doesn’t burn or stick. Kyoutani huffs and sits down. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Numai adds the vegetables once the chicken is done then fills a pan up with water to cook the noodles. Once they’re soaked, he adds them to the pan with the chicken and the vegetables, stirring in the spices and thoroughly mixing everything together. While it all warms up together, he gets out two plates and some chopsticks.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>He makes sure it’s all mixed then serves it out onto the two plates, he makes sure the burner is turned off then takes the plates to the table. “Oh! Drinks.” He goes back to the kitchen and returns with two bottles of water. “Is this okay for you?” He sits down, handing over a pair of the chopsticks with a smile.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani takes one look at Numai's smile, and immediately feels danger, heart skipping at the domesticity of the scene. He quickly snatches his chopsticks, and immediately digs into his noodles, slurping them up. His eyes go wide as the taste hits his mouth, and his embarrassment is forgotten. He looks up at Numai excitedly, cheeks full of food and puts his thumb up, and then shoving another mouthful of food in as he was still chewing.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Numai laughs softly, turning his face away when a small snort slips out. He ignores it and turns to his own plate, eating a piece of chicken, which does taste good, he hums then tries noodles. If he was any kind of confident outside of volleyball then he’d give himself a pat on the back for this meal, it feels better seeing Kyoutani enjoy it too—as if he needed Kyoutani’s approval, but something about it feels good, makes his chest feel warm and his heart beat just a little quicker.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani eats quickly, wasting no second to shovel food into his mouth, and when he finishes his late bite, he nearly chokes trying to swallow. He takes a swig of the water to make sure it goes down, and he leans back in his chair, groaning. Rubbing his stomach satisfied, he mutters, “Fuckin’ hell if I knew you were this goddamn good at cookin’ I woulda made you cook instead of orderin’ pizza that one time.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Numai can’t stop smiling at seeing the way Kyoutani eats his food and how crazily warm he feels at the praise. He finishes moments behind Kyoutani and laughs at his dramatics, snorting softly. Kyoutani’s heart patters at the sound and takes a swig of his water to calm his nerves. “I’m self-taught.” Numai says, getting up to take their empty plates to the sink. “I always wanted to learn so I just did. It’s pretty easy when you get the hang of things. You figure out which spices work best with what foods.” Kyoutani raises his brows, impressed.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Saying he wanted to learn was easier than explaining why he needed to learn. Numai focuses on returning the spices and the oil back to the cupboard. “Something warm and earthy for chicken. Something warm and sweet for vegetables. Then very simple salt and pepper to bring everything together. Alt is actually great for rice or noodles, when you boil them, salting the water adds just a little stickiness, so then when they get mixed into a dish, the other flavours just cling on.” Numai clamps his mouth shut and feels his ears turning red at how much he’s been talking. “Sorry. It’s really boring, isn’t it?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>He keeps his head down and focuses on starting to scrub the pan clean. None of the chicken got caught at least, so he washes it quickly and quietly, then moves onto their plates. Kyoutani raises a brow and says, “Nah, it’s pretty interesting and shit. I like cooking' and stuff but I’m pretty mediocre at best.” Taking another sip of his water, another piece slides into the puzzle that is Numai. At the very least, Kyoutani knows Numai wasn’t treated very well by his family, and probably not even his friends and still had lingering moments of self-doubt that shows through in little actions like this. Kyoutani opens his mouth to comment on </span>
  <em>
    <span>something</span>
  </em>
  <span> wanting to give at least a small comfort to Numai, but he figures he’s butt his head into Numai’s shit a little too much for a guy who’s only known him for a few days, and he shuts his mouth again, watching Numai wash the dishes with a contemplative look on his face.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Numai’s head perks up. What Kyoutani said doesn’t quite sound like a compliment, but he’s interested in what Numai says and that makes Numai feel light, as if he could float away. He smiles to himself, a subconscious little thing, and finishes washing up. He moves along to drying and once everything is finished, returned to where they belong, Numai turns to Kyoutani. “You wanna crack into that ice-cream later? Maybe we could watch a movie or something on the TV?” The words come before the can second guess himself, then he looks down, twisting his fingers together. “If you want to. Don’t force yourself.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani feels himself melting at the shy glance Numai had sent his way, and for a second he forgets to respond, before saying, “Nah, bet. Not forcin’ myself or anything, you’re not the worst company.” Kyoutani scratches at his cheek awkwardly as he finishes, and half-admonishes himself for not ever being able to give a straight up compliment.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Numai looks up again, he nods and walks over to retrieve his abandoned water from the table. “I like ice cream.” He says, as if Kyoutani asked, then walks to the couch and flops down, turning the television on so he can start flicking through the channels for something interesting. He makes himself comfortable there, pulling his legs up to tuck them under himself, he pokes his tongue out while he focuses.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani grabs his own water bottle, and takes out a tub of ice cream from the freezer, and two spoons and plops himself onto the couch next to Numai glancing over. Just poking out of Numai’s lips is an entirely distracting silver ball. Kyoutani stares at it in a daze, until Numai flips to some sports channel, the loud cheers of the crowd startling him back into consciousness. Kyoutani puts the tub of ice cream and spoons on the table and rubs his hands together to thaw them off, seeing as he held onto the literally frozen ice cream in his hands a little longer than he had anticipated. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sticking his gaze to the television, and trying his best not to think about how a piercing would feel against his own tongue, Kyoutani mutters, “So anythin’ you planning on watchin’ in particular?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Numai shrugs, uncertain. “What types of movies do you like? I’m really not fussy. Maybe a comedy, I wanna see if you have a funny bone.” He grins at Kyoutani, sliding his foot along to poke Kyoutani’s thigh with his toes. He pulls back quickly though and tries not to think about how stupid that was.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani turns, huffing out a short laugh and lifts his leg to poke his foot back at Numai, saying, “Let’s do it then. See if you can actually find something to make me laugh.” Kyoutani shoves at Numai’s leg with his foot playfully when he finishes, then curls up into the corner of the couch, looking at Numai expectantly.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Numai grins, he nods firmly and finds a comedy movie, putting it on for them. He leans forward to retrieve the ice-cream and spoons then sits back, handing one of the spoons to Kyoutani. He takes off the lid, placing it carefully onto the table. “Alright. This looks good enough.” He jabs his spoon into the ice-cream, taking a decent amount to eat. “The ice-cream is good.” He says after swallowing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kyoutani raises an eyebrow at Numai and somehow starts feeling competitive upon seeing Numai take a bite. Kyoutani grabs his own spoon, and digs into the tub, getting a large mound onto his spoon, and shoves it in his mouth, having to open his mouth nearly as wide as it could go to accommodate it, and with a bit of difficulty, manages to swallow it, looking at Numai in challenge.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Numai’s brows crease and he stares bewildered at Kyoutani. He splutters out a laugh, turning away as he snorts loudly, the image of Kyoutani with cheeks puffed full of food stuck on his brain. “You’ll get brain-freeze.” He manages to say, breath wheezing through his laughter. He covers his mouth with his hand, trying desperately to contain his snorting. When he finally calms down and lets out a soft exhale, he gets another scoop of ice-cream, settling back to watch the movie on the television, a grin stuck permanently to his face.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani watched the laughing fit with a fond smile, finding himself chuckling along, and turning to watch the television. The movie Numai had picked was actually decently funny, and Kyoutani often found himself laughing with his nose quietly, but there had been one moment that actually brought a loud and genuine laugh forward, that had him bending over on the sofa as his shoulders shook. As he tried to calm down, elbows on his knees, wheezing, Kyoutani thought about the scene again and found himself letting out a small giggle, and then taking a deep breath to finally return to watching the movie. </span>
  <span>Numai tries not to look too surprised when he hears Kyoutani laughing. His eyes wander over to Kyoutani, watching how his shoulders shake and his teeth bare with a soft smile. Numai isn’t scared to laugh at the movie, though he does still try to cover up his loud snorts at the funnier parts, it feels more like he can relax and he does, taking an occasional scoop of ice-cream.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Numai is tired after the early morning, and running around with kids all day gets tiring anyway, just as the final act starts, his body becomes limp, eyes closed peacefully as he dozes off. Hearing the spoon clatters to the floor, Kyoutani jumps and turns to look at Numai, whose neck is crooked at an awkward angle. Scooting over, Kyoutani huffs, grabbing the spoon from the floor and takes the tub of ice cream from Numai’s grasp to place on the table and leans back. The shift of the couch moves Numai further and his head lands softly against Kyoutani’s shoulder</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This was not where Kyoutani wanted to be. Kyoutani had been so set on trying to dismiss Numai as some hot guy he should just pity, but Kyoutani was slowly cracking, from Numai’s cooking to his obnoxiously cute laughter, and now his head resting tenderly on Kyoutani’s shoulder as if it belonged there. Kyoutani stared down at Numai, scowling, realizing that he’d started to actually like the guy, even if he was pining for some other dude. For a moment, Kyoutani wondered if it was a product of their forced living situation, and Kyoutani’s drought in his love life, but he couldn’t deny that he wanted to kiss Numai’s forehead and cuddle close.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kyoutani scrunches his nose up, disgusted by his own sappiness and decides that maybe he should just take Numai to the bed and go to sleep, and shake off these feelings. They’d probably not see much of each other after this week anyway, so maybe Kyoutani could just live in the fantasy for a week and then move on. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>With that, Kyoutani slowly turns so that Numai is resting more on his chest, and leans forward to scoop under Numai’s knees with his arm, and brings the other one across his back. Carefully, he gets up with Numai safely in his arms and walks to the bedroom. He lays Numai on the bed, similar to the night before, but now with the bittersweet realization of his feelings. He slides out his arms from under Numai to gently push away his bangs from his face and then goes to fold over the blanket over Numai. Once he’s done, Kyoutani pushes off the bed, and stands up to look at Numai, gazing at him with what Kyoutani is fully aware is a fond gaze, and then he remembers the ice cream on the table and turns to go put it back in the freezer. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Numai is shaken a little by the movement, brain registering a change, then there is a big shift under him, he’s cradled in warmth a second later and there’s another shift of movement that causes his eyes to flutter open. He recognises straight away that he’s in the bedroom, Kyoutani looks like he’s about to leave and before Numai can even begin to think or process anything he reaches out to grasp Kyoutani’s wrist.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani stills, and turns back. “Can you stay?” Numai asks voice heavy with sleep. “I always have nightmares when I’m alone. I forgot to bring my stu-” Even with his voice so quiet, he can’t bring himself to admit he has a stuffed bear that he usually sleeps with at home. He yawns, eyes sliding shut again, hand falling loose at Kyoutani’s wrist. “Tani, will you please stay?” He mutters softly, something that’s pulled from the back of his head, a quiet, almost dream-like plea. As if Kyoutani might not really be there and won’t yell at him or call him an idiot.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani huffs, ears hot, and sits down on the bed next to Numai as he says, “You can’t use a pillow?” Despite his words, he doesn’t move from the bed, fully intending to sit next to Numai until he falls asleep and then leaves to the couch.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Numai smiles to himself when he feels the weight return to the bed. He slides his arm over Kyoutani’s waist and hums softly. “Thanks, Tani. Sorry for being a pain.” At first, Kyoutani stiffens at the touch, not expecting it, but eventually finds himself calming down. Numai lets his body relax, his arm falling limp over Kyoutani, his mouth parting a crack as he starts to doze off.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Feeling Numai relax against him, Kyoutani moves to get out, grabbing Numai’s arm and gently placing it aside as he slowly lifts himself up off the bed. Numai whines softly, reaching out to tug Kyoutani back under his arm. Kyoutani catches himself with his hand before he could fall back on top of Numai, and squints down at him. This almost felt like Numai was purposely fucking with him, considering how not too long ago, Kyoutani realized he had some stupid crush on the guy, and now he wanted to cuddle up next to him for the night. Urgently, Kyoutani whispered, “You fucker, are you awake?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Numai is quiet and still, he lets out a small breath of air, curling his arm a touch tighter around Kyoutani. His breathing evens out, mouth parting a touch further as he falls into a deep slumber. Kyoutani sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose, resigning himself to his fate. Slowly, he lowers himself to lay down next to Numai, as far as he can with Numai’s arms around him and he closes his eyes with a huff. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>For what seems like hours, that’s what he does, just laying there, hyper-aware of Numai’s arms across his waist. He wants to twist and turn restlessly, but he’s at the point where any movement would drive his body closer to Numai. Finally, exhausted from the early morning and long day, Kyoutani falls into a fitful sleep.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Behind the Mask</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Kyoutani startles awake at the sound of his alarm from the next room, and immediately tries to sit up, but is held back by a death grip across his torso. Kyoutani heaves a long sigh, and drags a palm across his face, before turning to frown at Numai’s stupidly attractive face, unamused.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Numai’s eyes flutter when the noise registers in his brain, he yawns, rubs his eyes and stretches out on the bed, everything finally comes into focus, he sees Kyoutani looking less than impressed next to him. He suddenly becomes all too aware of how close they are together and he pulls fack, flushing red. “Sorry!” Numai pushes himself from the bed, half stumbling over his own feet when he finds the floor. “I’m so sorry.” He goes to the closet, collects some clean clothes then rushes into the bathroom, closing the door firmly behind himself. He locks the door and takes a deep breath, mentally berating himself for using Kyoutani like a stuffed bear, the one he’d been too embarrassed to pack. Numai puts his clothes to the side and turns on the shower, hoping that the spray might wash away just how embarrassed he feels right now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kyoutani watches Numai, half-amused, but mostly confused as Numai scrambles to get out of the bed and into the shower. Kyoutani rubs at the back of his head tiredly, and sits up, squinting down into his lap. It was weird for Numai to be so panicked and apologetic about their situation when he was the one who had clung onto Kyoutani, preventing him from leaving. Kyoutani feels his neck get hot at the memory, and rubs at his eyes as if it would wipe the image away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Finally, Kyoutani hops off the bed and heads to the kitchen to prepare breakfast. Not wanting to go through the effort of dirtying the pan, Kyoutani settles with cutting and peeling an apple into neat slices, and eats them with peanut butter. As he cuts a second apple for Numai, Kyoutani idly hopes that Numai doesn’t have some nut allergy.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Numai showers well and gets changed in the bathroom, then he heads out, finding Kyoutani in the kitchen. He eyes what he’s doing and busies himself with making a cup of tea. “What the hell are you eating?” He finally asks, waiting as the kettle boils.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Apples and peanut butter.” Kyoutani said matter-of-factly, “You don’t have a nut allergy or anything right?” Kyoutani neatly plates the apple slices, and places them on the table, and gestures for Numai to sit. “ ‘S good stuff, promise. Try it. If ya don’t like it you can just have the apple, I guess.” Kyoutani shrugs, scratching his neck awkwardly.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Numai nods, he makes his tea and joins Kyoutani, taking a plain apple slice and eating it. “I’ll just have the apple. I don’t like peanuts, or peanut butter. And that weird concoction,” He points at the apple then the peanut butter. “It seems more like an acquired taste.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani shrugged at that. “To each their own.” Kyoutani frowned, still caught on a single piece of information that seemed to scratch at the bottom of his mind, from when he was first cutting up the apple. “So are you allergic to nuts, or?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“No. If I was allergic, you wouldn’t even be able to sit this close to me. For all allergies, the immune system reacts to specific allergy trigger molecules, also known as allergens. The immune system produces antibodies that detect the allergen and cause inflammatory reactions and the release of a chemical called histamine. Histamine causes hives, hay fever and other allergic symptoms. Basically, being this close would cause a reaction, of course some people might not have as bad of a reaction, meaning they’d have to be closer or sometimes even inhale the thing they’re allergic to.” Numai falls quiet, eating another piece of apple and gazing down at the table. He wants to apologise again, for spouting something that Kyoutani probably won’t care about.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani stared at Numai for a second, amazed at the stuff that had come out his mouth, and maybe a little but just staring at his mouth, but mostly just the large words spewing out. He frowns, and processes what just happened. Somehow, Kyoutani finds this mumbo jumbo cute coming out of Numai, and shit, he really likes this guy, even if he was a complete fuckin’ dweeb. Eventually, Kyoutani manages to get out, “How the fuck do you know all this shit?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh. I’m a med student.” Numai mutters in response, still looking down, he grabs another piece of apple and munches it quietly. “I uh, got really interested in medical studies at sixteen. Because I wanted answers for anxiety, PTSD, a heightened stress response, bad self-esteem, problems sleeping...I studied a lot, applied for med school and now I’m learning more.” He shrugs, finishes another slice of apple then gets up to stretch, finishing his morning routine with some sit-ups and push-ups before pulling on his sneakers. “I need to go for my run. I’ll meet you in the main building. Okay?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani blinks, surprised, cataloguing all that information into his brain slowly as Numai finishes his workout, dazedly looking at Numai’s muscles at work, and then nodding. “Uh, yea. Meet ya there.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“See ya.” Numai nods with a smile, then he slips out of the door and goes for a quick run around the outskirts of the camp.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>This day is more fun, in Numai’s opinion, the kids are getting the afternoon off to spend some time together, relaxing after a few days of hard work at practice. Some of the councillors have offered to watch over the kids, some are heading off out of the camp-site and into the nearby town.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Numai is stuck deciding for a while, sitting on the couch in the cabin nursing a cup of tea, Kyoutani is busy cleaning up in the kitchen and Numai glances at him a few too many times before sighing softly. He gets up, walks to the kitchen and leaves his cup with Kyoutani. “I’m going for a walk.” Kyoutani nods, watching the television nonchalantly.  Numai walks to the door and pulls his shoes on. “I’ll be back for dinner.” He slips out of the door before waiting for Kyoutani to respond, not expecting him to suddenly say he’s going too.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>As soon as Numai closes the door behind him, Kyoutani is on his feet, heading to the door to follow Numai. Kyoutani feels an inexplicable tug to follow Numai, rooted in his worry about leaving Numai alone. Numai probably wanted his privacy, but hopefully he wouldn’t mind Kyoutani’s presence too much. Kyoutani slipped on his shoes, and exited, immediately looking around for Numai. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Numai walks aimlessly for a while, going past the usual route he runs and is surprised to find a lake just beyond a stretch of trees. He gasps at the sight and carefully hurries down the hill. He sits down, taking off his socks and shoes then rolling up his track-pants so he can dip his feet into the water, relaxing back to enjoy the tranquillity of it all. </span>
  <span>Kyoutani finally finds Numai, and of course, Numai is out there looking like something out of a movie. Staying quiet, not wanting to disturb the moment, Kyoutani walks carefully down into the clearing of the lake and sits down, resting his back against a tree. He watches Numai with fond eyes, enjoying the way Numai looks so calm and unfortunately handsome in his serenity.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Numai kicks his feet in the water, smiling as little droplets span into ripples on the surface, distorting the reflection of the sky above. He kicks his feet again, gasping in surprise when he slides down the hill, he grips at the grass under him. “Fuck!” He yelps, his legs slipping far enough that the water covers his track-pants. He pulls himself back up with a sigh and reaches down to pat the wet part of his pants.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani snorts, reflexively, and realizing he’s blown his own cover he says, “Way to go clumsy ass.” as he begins to walk down to Numai. For a moment, Kyoutani stands in front of Numai, watching him judgmentally, and </span>
  <em>
    <span>maybe</span>
  </em>
  <span> just checking him out a little bit. Eventually, Kyoutani looks out to the lake wordlessly, putting his hands into his pockets.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Numai almost jumps at Kyoutani’s voice, he watches him for a moment, brows pinching together. “You’re spoiling my view!” He pokes Kyoutani’s leg with his foot. “You could have stood anywhere else than literally right in front of me.” He pokes Kyoutani’s leg again then snorts softly, he leans to sit on his knees and places his palms on Kyoutani’s back. “Bye.” Numai pushes Kyoutani forward, straight into the lake, laughing when the water splashes up from the impact.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani gets up slowly, and turns around with a sharp glare in Numai’s direction. For a second, Kyoutani looks genuinely mad, but then a dangerous grin spreads across his face and he lunges for Numai. He hefts Numai over his shoulder, walks into the lake, and heaves Numai a few feet next to him, sending him splashing into the water.  </span>
  <span>Numai gasps, splashing his arms down into the water. “You’re so annoying!” He says, no malice behind his words, the lake is small enough that when he rises to his feet, he can trudge through the water. “You’re going to pay for that.” He dives forward, effectively tackling Kyoutani into the water.<br/><br/></span>
  <span>Kyoutani wrestles himself below Numai, so that he could lift them both back up, and throw them forward so that he’s falling on top of Numai, gripping onto his waist like a professional American Football player as he laughs loudly and shouts, “Come and get it, asshole!” Before Numai hits his back against the lake, Kyoutani turns him sideways, to at least take some of the blow as they both went tumbling back into the lake.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Numai yelps, holding his breath just in time before the water covers his face, he pops up and splashes the water towards Kyoutani with a growl. “You fuck!” He splashes Kyoutani again, then grabs his arms and pushes forward so they both splash down into the lake. Numai comes up with a gasp, eying to make sure Kyoutani is okay too, breathing erratic. He rushes to the shore and pulls himself up onto the bank, leaning over while he catches his breath.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani’s grin fades off of his face, and is suddenly hit by the memory of Numai, face dunked into the sink in a panic as Numai runs off into the shore. Worried that he’s fucked up, once again, Kyoutani moves slowly to Numai, trying not to startle him as he takes long breaths, trying to steady his lungs as well, though probably with more ease than Numai considering his distressed state. Kyoutani tentatively puts his hands on Numai’s back, and manages to say without gasping, “You good?”<br/><br/></span>
  <span>“It’s my fault,” Numai sighs, he clenches his eyes shut and moves to drop onto his back. “I’m okay. Are you?” He sits up suddenly, eyes wide as he looks Kyoutani over, letting out a relaxed breath when he sees that, apart from being drenched, Kyoutani is doing fine, chest heaving with his breathing. Numai bursts out laughing, falling back again as he snorts loudly, body shuddering. “We’re both soaked! This was so dumb.” He sighs, relaxing just to watch the few clouds in the sky. “I had a great time.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani sighs in relief, and sits down next to Numai, gazing out into the lake. He slowly turns to Numai, and watches as a drop of water rolls down the column of his neck intently, and swallows thickly. Kyoutani turns back to the lake.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Yeah, that was pretty fuckin’ dumb, but you started it.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Well, now you know not to stand in front of me.” Numai snorts softly, close enough to elbow Kyoutani in the thigh. “We should dry off enough in the sun, at least.” He smiles up at Kyoutani, surprisingly calm despite how he’d felt moments ago, as if Kyoutani’s mere presence managed to make him feel safe and calm. “Talk with me while we wait. What’s your favourite memory from high school volleyball?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani raises a brow, and nudges Numai’s shoulder. He then pauses to think about Numai’s question, frowning thoughtfully. “Uh… Hm. I guess when we won games during my third year. Beat Karasuno in a practice game once, that was fun. You?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“In my third year, I scored a service ace off Nekoma, with a dislocated thumb.” Numai wiggles his right hand, chuckling. “It was such a crazy moment, I’ve never felt so accomplished before. I felt so powerful. It hurt like a bitch, and hurt even more once the adrenaline wore off. What’s university volleyball like compared to that? Do you like it?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani looks oddly at Numai, wondering where all the sudden questions were coming from, but he couldn’t bring himself to complain about it. “Yeah, it’s cool. My captain is more lax than mines ever were. My third year captain and I pretty much fought the whole year, the bastard. But uh, what about you?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Yeah, I still love it. I’ve always found family in my teammates and it hasn’t changed since leaving high-school. Our captain is a genius, I swear, he always seems to understand everything. I’ve been learning from him, I’ve never had much game sense, I was always better at being a cheerleader, spurring my teammates on. It’s nice actually doing something, but it gets kinda hard to find time between classes, studying, clinicals and exams.” Numai sighs softly, a small smile settling on his face. “What do you study? You know I do med so.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani nods, processing the information he heard before replying, “Pre-vet.” and then falling into silence. He tried to think of another question, that wasn’t just playing off Numai’s and scowled off into the lake. He rubs at the back of his neck, and thinks of something. Awkwardly scratching at his cheek, Kyoutani mumbles, just loud enough for Numai to potentially hear him, “Well. Glad you kept up volleyball.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me too. It’s always been there for me, y’know?” Numai smiles a little sadly, spacing off. “It was there when I was scared of coming out. It was my support system. Volleyball doesn’t go away, it’s static, forever constant. It doesn’t change, even when it’s complex, there’s a simplicity to it that you can trust. You don’t get that with people, people lie and act fake.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani hums in agreement and lays down beside Numai, folding his arms over his chest. Looking up at the sky, Kyoutani thinks of where volleyball has gotten him over the years, and even if he skipped out of it for some time he can’t deny that volleyball always seemed to keep him on track. He would’ve probably been lonely as hell without volleyball, seeing as no one else had to deal with his shit except for his teammates, and now Numai. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.” Kyoutani finally says, “Volleyball is there.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“It’s great.” Numai pokes Kyoutani’s leg with his foot. “Talk to me some more. About uni, or other stuff. What’s your family like? The team? I don’t know. Just say something to distract me.” He looks over at Kyoutani, smiling softly at him. “I just wanna relax for a while.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani frowns, asking, “Distract you from what?” Shaking his head Kyoutani dismissed his own question, “None of my business, I’ll talk. So. Uh. My family’s chillin. Uh. Pretty unique home situation. My dad left my mom before I was born, so for a while she was raisin’ me solo, but she did her best. Which was good. Then, uh she met a woman, so. That happened and then they had a kid that my mom carried with some sperm donor. Actually, I think it might have been a cousin or some shit of Ryouko’s, uh the woman my mom’s datin’, so. I got a little sister. She’s cute. She’s like- Jesus, fuck, she’s like ten now. But, uh yeah. Ryouko lives with us, or I guess with them now, since I’m in uni and shit. Got my own dorm. But uh. Oh yea, I got a dog too, Tammie. She’s great. And uh, now that I’m sayin’ this out loud I’m kinda just realizin’ I’m surrounded by girls? Like love ‘em all to death but like, just a little fuckin’ wild to think about and shit I guess.” Kyoutani sighs, and squints up at the sky. “And uh. Hm. Yea that’s all I got. Unless you got a provokin’ question or some shit.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“That sounds…hectic. But like it’s a lot of fun.” Numai nods, turning to look back to the sky. “I have an older brother and that’s it. Uh, he’s eight and a half years older than me, so he’s thirty-three now, almost thirty-four. He’s got a kid which is cool, a little girl and she’s adorable. I really miss being at home right now, she likes volleyball too and we’d usually play. She’s almost six. And my brother’s wife is pretty chill, we like the same music so I get along with her pretty well.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani is tempted to ask about Numai’s parents but realizes that this was a time to chill and relax, and not make Numai extremely uncomfortable, so instead, he just says, “Nice.” They fall into comfortable silence after that, and eventually, Numai suggests they head back inside for dinner, both of them now sufficiently dry. Kyoutani agrees, saying “Yea, but I’m cookin’. I owe you for that bomb ass noodle shit.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Bomb ass noodle shit?” Numai snorts, he gently bumps his shoulder against Kyoutani and Kyoutani bumps back at him. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard a stir fry called that before. You're definitely inventive.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They arrive at the cabin, Kyoutani definitely </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> looking at the way Numai’s slightly damp shirt clings to his torso. A little flustered from not looking at Numai’s body, Kyoutani toes off his shoes and makes his way into the kitchen without a word. He opens the fridge, scanning its contents. From behind the fridge door, he calls, “How d’ ya feel about sandwiches?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Oh, I see.” Numai snorts, grabbing two cups to make them tea while Kyoutani makes dinner. “Your cooking ability only goes to sandwiches? This is the repayment for making bomb ass noodle shit. I suppose I can accept that. I’m hungry so just make me anything that doesn’t have nuts, mushrooms or tomatoes.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani glares over his shoulder, “It’s gonna be some good ass sandwiches. If you’re gonna complain about it, I’ll just make one for myself.” Despite this, Kyoutani takes out two plates, and starts laying out ingredients. He lays out the ham, turkey, lettuce, cheese, butter and some seasoning. Grabbing a pan, Kyoutani turns on the stove, and throws some butter on there, and moves it around the pan. Once it melts, Kyoutani puts a slice of bread on there, and piles on the meat and cheese, seasoning appropriately. He tops it off with another slice, and digs out a spatula to press down the sandwich. When that side is finished, Kyoutani flips over the sandwich and presses down on the other side. The smell of melting cheese and cooked meats waft through the air, and Kyoutani is half tempted to eat the sandwich right out of the pan.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Finally, the sandwich is sufficiently toasted and Kyoutani plates it, and takes off the top slice to add lettuce. He grabs the top slice, but then puts it back down, remembering something. He grabs a bag of potato chips out of the cabinet and crushes them onto the sandwiches, and puts the bread back on, finished. Kyoutani serves the plate in front of Numai and then looks at him expectantly as he crosses his arms, chest puffed out slightly in pride. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Numai eyes the sandwich up, then looks at Kyoutani and the empty spot across from him. “What about you?” It hits him right then, that they’ve only sat down together for food a few times, mostly they’re apart, or Numai doesn’t eat. So he tries not to look disappointed and instead focuses on quietly taking a bite out of the sandwich, he hums, nodding as happily as he can, “It’s good,” He says, voice slightly quiet. “Thanks.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kyoutani frowns. “I was gonna make mine now but. Uh. Won’t hurt my feelings if you don’t like that shit. I could make another one? Did I put too much cheese? Are you lactose intolerant? I should’ve fuckin’ asked that before, shit. But, uh.” Kyoutani shrugs, rubbing at his arm awkwardly a little disappointed. “If ya don’t like it‘s fine.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“No!” Numai perks up, a little upset to see how disappointed Kyoutani is, he goes quiet after yelling and digs back into the sandwich. He eats quicker than he normally would then hops up, sling the plate onto the counter then walks to the door and pulls his shoes back on. “Thanks a lot. It was really great. I’m gonna go for a quick run.” He smiles, pulling the door open. “I—” </span>
  <em>
    <span>I wanted to sit with you</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Numai leaves it unsaid and shakes his head. “I won’t be long. Thanks for the meal.” He dips out of the cabin, shutting the door firmly behind him. He takes a breath then runs, straight towards the camp-site exit.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani blinks, surprised, frozen in place. His mind went to static, the only thought of his being, </span>
  <em>
    <span>I fucked up</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Numai went on runs when he was stressed and Kyoutani had somehow made him that way. Kyoutani wished he was better with people, especially with people that he actually liked. Did Numai not like being watched eating? Maybe his staring made him uncomfortable, what if- Shit what if Numai figured out he liked him? Maybe he was too obvious about his staring on the way back, and Numai was just being nice, and then the food and staring shit threw him over the edge.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe Numai couldn’t deal with his feelings, cause he loved someone else, and Kyoutani was just making him so uncomfortable he had to go out for a run. Kyoutani owed it to Numai to let him out on the run, letting him go further away. Looking at the empty plate in front of him, Kyoutani sighed, chest heavy. He picked up the plate, the pan, and the spatula, and put them into the sink. He puts away the food he’d taken out, and realizes he was starting to shake as he grips the fridge. He grits his teeth, and mutters, “Get over yourself”.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After the dishes were washed and everything was put away neatly. Looking at the empty kitchen made Kyoutani realize he never made anything for himself, and he sighs. His appetite was mostly gone by now, so he made himself a small cup of instant ramen. He slurped it up quickly, not even bothering to wait for it to cool, the burning sensation on his tongue distracting him from other thoughts and keeping his hands from shaking.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When he’s done, Kyoutani feels spent, and throws his chopsticks in the sink to wash for later. Kyoutani really needed a long hot shower right now, so that’s what he was going to do. He made a quick stop in the bedroom to pick up clothes and a towel, then hops into the shower.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Numai runs so far and so long that it doesn’t even hit him how long he’s gone until he notices how dark the sky has got. He sighs softly and starts heading back to the camp-site, his mind still running on overdrive, chest aching. He’d wanted to sit with Kyoutani, eat together and talk some more, but maybe everything that happened at the lake was just because Kyoutani felt sorry for Numai.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>He hates thinking that, he hates pity, he feels the ache in his chest, his throat tight and when he makes it back to the camp entrance, he’s crying quietly. Numai stops running, sniffles softly and walks slowly back to the cabin. Kyoutani probably hated him, he’d seemed eager to give Numai food but didn’t care to even rush or make his own so they could sit together. </span>
  <span>The night of the stir fry meant nothing, Kyoutani cooked, and sat with Numai for nothing. Ruined today by Numai prying into Kyoutani’s life, so much that Kyoutani didn’t care about eating together. He was so stupid, stupid to even think that someone like Kyoutani would care about him.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>No-one ever would, not when he’s so fucked up and damaged. Numai sighs when he reaches the cabin, he quietly lets himself in, taking off his shoes then creeping into the bedroom. It’s quiet and an empty bed shows that Kyoutani probably crashed on the couch. Again, he managed to ruin everything, waking up the day before clutching onto Kyoutani probably freaked him out, after all, Kyoutani did already know he was gay. Numai chokes out a sob, quickly trying to cover his mouth, he climbs into the bed without changing and curls up, tugging the sheets over his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kyoutani had been startled when he heard Numai enter from the couch, where he had curled up to sleep. He had been expecting sounds of tiredness, of stress, maybe even of anger, but he had not been expecting the sob that had come from the bedroom. The sound alone has Kyoutani up on his feet, wanting to comfort Numai, but he quickly realizes it wasn’t his place to do that. The least he could do was at least apologize.<br/><br/></span>
  <span>Kyoutani pads over to the bedroom door, leaving it closed, and stands in front of it for a moment, shifting nervously on his feet. Kyoutani rubs at his neck, and sits next to the door, leaning against the wall. Shakily, Kyoutani calls out “Hey,” and winces at his voice cracking under the tightness of his throat. Taking a deep breath, Kyoutani continues, “Uh. Hey. Sorry about stressin’ you out. I uh, didn’t mean to watch you. Just, hm. Yea. I uh, wanted to see if you liked the sandwich, but I uh. I won’t stare at you again. G’night.” Kyoutani tries his best to avoid the topic of his feelings as he apologizes, not wanting to make it worse, and stands up shakily to go back to the couch.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Numai sniffles, he walks to the door and opens it to look at Kyoutani. “I’m sorry...You didn’t really seem that happy when I said it was good. So yeah, I figured maybe you didn’t want to eat with me and it’s probably for the best.” Kyoutani freezes, and turns around at Numai’s voice. Numai suddenly wishes he had long sleeves to pull on, to stop his hands from fidgeting scratching lines into his own palms then up his wrists, he scratches his arms and sighs. “I know that I was out of place prying into your personal life. I’m sorry for asking so many questions. I won’t do it again and, uh...I don’t expect you to sit with me for lunch or dinner.” Numai closes his mouth and wipes his face with his sleeve, returning to the bed to lay down again, tugging the covers over himself.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani scowls, realizing he’d been self-absorbed, and had immediately jumped to conclusions. On one hand, he was relieved Numai hadn’t found out about his crush, but also, Numai looked like shit. Sighing, Kyoutani walks in to sit on the bed, and stares at the wall. “So, uh. Thought you were pretending it was good so you didn’t hurt my feelings, first of all. So. Also, I wouldn’t have fuckin’ answered any of your questions if I didn’t want to, idiot. I. Uh. Hm. Talking to you isn’t bad. And meals are nice. Like, when they’re shared and shit, so.” Kyoutani shrugs, and rubs at the back of his head, and then gets up with a huff.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I’ll uh, see you in the morning. For breakfast.” he says to the wall, shifting around on his feet, waiting for an answer before he leaves. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Numai pokes his head above the covers after Kyoutani is finished talking, he reaches out and grabs his arm. “If you’re comfortable, we might as well share the bed, it’s big enough for both of us. I’ll turn my back to you, if you’re worried about me clinging to you again. I really did like the sandwich, I wouldn’t lie about that shit.” He pulls his hand back and turns so his back is to Kyoutani. “Just get in the bed and sleep. I won’t touch you. And you can ask me questions too, if you want.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani stood in place for about a minute, breathing deeply. He can feel himself coming up with hundreds of reasons why he should just politely refuse, and walk out. But there’s something about the way they’ve just cleared up everything, something about the way Numai tells him to just get in the bed, that has him moving to lay down on top of the covers. He lays still there for a moment, staring at the ceiling and says, “Uh. I’ll ask shit, but. Uh, sleep sounds pretty good right now.” With that, Kyoutani curls up onto his side, facing away from Numai, but somehow still extremely aware of his presence, his weight next to him. It feels different deciding to be on the same bed while both of them were fully conscious about it, but Numai had offered. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Okay.” Numai sighs softly, almost relieved that Kyoutani isn’t asking anything yet. Something inside him is telling him to open up, and he wants to, he’s never trusted someone so easily before, only his therapist, his grandparents and his brother. “Sleep then. Goodnight, Kyoutani.” He closes his eyes and lets himself relax, soothed by Kyoutani’s presence.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani replied with a simple, “Night.” and closes his eyes, drifting slowly to sleep, once he’s finally gotten tired enough to stop thinking about Numai.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Perfect Imperfections</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Numai wakes early, like he usually does, but he doesn’t have the urge to go for his daily run. He feels comfortable and strangely </span>
  <em>
    <span>warm</span>
  </em>
  <span>. With a yawn and a small stretch, his eyes flicker open, to be met by the adorable sight of Kyoutani laying on his chest. He wants to move him, or say something, but the only thing he feels is fear, remembering how unamused Kyoutani had been when he’d woken to Numai clutched around him.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>So with that memory haunting his mind, Numai closes his eyes and tries to regulate his breathing, hoping that Kyoutani will wake soon enough and move, unaware of the fact that Numai had caught him lying there. That would be easier, so Numai pretends to sleep and waits.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kyoutani wakes up, feeling incredibly refreshed, and peeks open his eyes. Slowly, Kyoutani realizes the pillow he’d been clutching onto is very much not a pillow. Kyoutani’s body stiffens, and he draws in a sharp breath of air. Carefully, so that he doesn’t startle Numai into waking, Kyoutani lifts himself up until he is sitting on the bed next to Numai. Kyoutani rubs at his eyes, wiping away any remnants of sleep and hefts himself off of the bed. He stretches out his arms and turns back to Numai, who is, thankfully, still sleeping. Kyoutani allowed himself a moment to watch Numai’s serene face before sighing and leaning over to bring the covers back over Numai’s shoulders. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kyoutani takes one last lingering look and walks out into the kitchen to start preparing some breakfast. Numai’s eyes flutter open again once he’s sure Kyoutani has left the room, he pulls the covers under his chin with a content sigh, mentally thanking Kyoutani for thinking of him.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>He lays there for a few more minutes, pretending to sleep, basking in the scent that surrounds him, he’s certain he might have gone insane to feel like every part of Kyoutani relaxes him. He screws his eyes shut for a moment then sighs and pulls himself upward, stretching out properly.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Numai slides from the bed and collects some clothes and a towel from the closet. He peeks out of the room to check on Kyoutani, who looks busy making breakfast, Numai merely smiles to himself then pushes away from the door-frame and goes to the bathroom, turning the shower on to let it warm up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kyoutani turns his head at the sound of water pattering, and calls out, “Mornin’!” As casually as he could muster, and turns back to chopping up some peppers to put in the omelettes he was making. Numai hears the shout and yells back the same thing before climbing into the shower. Kyoutani takes out two pans and sets the eggs next to the stove, and then goes to the couch. He had promised Numai to eat together, so he prepared all the ingredients, but he would wait for Numai to get out of the shower and simultaneously make both of the omelettes so they could eat at the same time. It would mean more dishes for later, but he really wanted to put Numai at ease after last night and was feeling a bit guilty for huddling up to Numai through the night, considering Numai had been the one to say that he would be careful not to get cuddly. But here Kyoutani was, getting cuddly. Kyoutani sighs, and sits in a daze, thinking about waking up next to Numai.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Numai washes quickly then dries and dresses, walking out to find Kyoutani on the couch. “Hey,” He says another greeting, just in case Kyoutani hadn’t caught the first one.  He sits down on the couch and turns to Kyoutani. “Did you sleep okay last night?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>The question is what snaps Kyoutani out of his train of thought, and he turns to Numai, remembers how he woke up, and turns back to the blank television, neck feeling hot. Not only that, even Numai asking him how he slept, Kyoutani diligently preparing breakfast for the both of them, felt embarrassingly domestic. Kyoutani nods to answer Numai’s question, and politely asks, “You?” and then immediately regrets his decision.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>No matter what Numai said, Kyoutani would be the one at a loss. If Numai tells him he slept well, Kyoutani would have thought about Numai sleeping well in his embrace for at least a week. If Numai says he slept badly, or that he was too hot, Kyoutani would feel bad for clinging to him. If Numai was neutral, Kyoutani supposes that would be the best outcome, but it will also have Kyoutani thinking about how Numai was an adorably heavy sleeper. Again, there's no winning outcome in this situation, but the question was out there.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. I was nice and warm.” Numai smiles. “I didn’t have any nightmares.” He leans forward to grab the television remote and turns it on—mostly because it feels like there's an awkward silence scratching at the air, mostly because Numai can see how red Kyoutani is out the corner of his eye and would rather distract both of them from the way they woke up together. “What are you making to eat?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani jumps off the couch, and says, “Omelettes.” and then walks to the kitchen, and starts turning on the stove, and coating the pans in non-stick spray. Numai watches Kyoutani go, a little surprised to see him move so quickly. Kyoutani cracks the eggs into the two different pans and starts putting in the onion, peppers, ham and cheese that he had diced up earlier. He spreads the eggs out on the pan, and eventually, it becomes a waiting game as the eggs have to cook.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Numai turns on the couch, resting his chin on the cushions as he watches Kyoutani cook, he finds himself smiling softly, enjoying how comforting and normal this feels. Kyoutani is not sure if Numai’s watching him, but he feels a shiver up his back anyways. “So, I kinda bombarded yesterday with questions. Is there anything you’d like to ask me? It seems fair.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani, blinks down at the cooking eggs for a minute, thinking of a question as he poked at them with a spatula. Finally, he flips the eggs over and asks, “Pets?” continuing to poke at the eggs.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“My grandparents have a cat. But I haven’t had pets since I moved out. The complex where I live doesn’t allow pets. But once I start working, I’d like to move into my own place and get my own cat, and maybe a snake.” Numai chuckles softly. “You said you have a dog, right? What’s she like? What’s her breed? Oh! How old is she?” He falls quiet, and turns to the television, frowning to himself. “Sorry, I said you could ask me questions and I’m being nosey again.” Numai pulls his legs up onto the couch, so his knees touch his chest and tries to focus on the television instead of thinking about Kyoutani.<br/><br/></span>
  <span>The eggs are done by the time Numai finishes, and Kyoutani plates them both, adding salt and pepper. He grabs two forks and makes his way to the couch, frowning. Kyoutani puts both of the plates on the table before sitting down, facing Numai. This needs to be said.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Numai. I told you talking to you is nice. I wouldn’t fuckin’ answer any of your questions if I didn’t want to. Trust me. If I was really bothered I would’ve told you to fuck off, not make you a goddamn omelette. Tammie’s sweet, a border collie and she’s seven. So. Eat up, the food’s ready.” With that, Kyoutani grabs his own omelette, lifting the plate near his mouth to start chowing down as he looks at Numai. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Numai nods, he slowly lowers his legs and leans over to grab his plate then takes a few quiet bites before glancing at Kyoutani. “I uh. I don’t usually ask questions, or pry, I learned a long time ago that asking is wrong, so yeah. It’s easier to apologise for it, I guess.” He turns back to the television and takes a few more bites, humming in appreciation. “You—” </span>
  <em>
    <span>You make me comfortable</span>
  </em>
  <span>, he wants to say, but he doesn't. He pauses instead, just for a second to take some more bites, secretly to rethink his words. Numai hums, eyes closing as he swallows again. “You’re pretty good at cooking.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani swallows the food in his mouth to say, “Thanks.” Still frowning, Kyoutani takes another bite. He chews thoughtfully, and when he finishes, says. “You can ask shit. ‘S not wrong. I mean if people don’t wanna answer they wouldn’t. Don’t think it's a bad thing to wanna know shit about someone. So.” Kyoutani shrugged, digging back into his omelette.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Numai doesn’t say anything and finishes eating first. “That was great!” He hops up quickly and goes to start washing up, humming a light tune to himself while he cleans up in the kitchen. “I envy you. It’s easy to think that unwanted questions will only go unanswered but that isn’t the reality of the world. I’ve been thinking about it more recently. I turned twenty-five in August and in a few months I’m going to graduate and start living my life. I want to be a doctor, it’s going to be my job to ask questions, so I’ve been trying to make myself comfortable with that. My friends and my teammates have been there helping me but it’s still hard, it’s hard because I know what the reality is.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani finishes, and stares hard at the empty plate in front of him, not really knowing how to reply to that. Kyoutani wasn’t sure what he was considered as to Numai. Kyoutani supposes he would be considered a friend, or at least a temporary friend. However, Kyoutani wanted to be a part of that group that helped Numai with his problems, that supported him in his life. </span>
  <span>They are only here for a week, and he’s not sure that Numai would want to continue talking to him after this week was over. Including today, they’d only be around for three more days. Quietly, Kyoutani got up, walking to the sink to wash the dishes, only glancing at Numai once to make sure he didn’t look offended or sad.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Hey, I’m doing them!” Numai gently nudges Kyoutani out of the way, gasping when he gets splashed by the water. “Did you do that on purpose?” He asks in mock offence, scoffing playfully, he dips his hand into the sink and flicks some water at Kyoutani. “You wanna start that water fight again, or will you let me clean up?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani flinches back at the water droplets and scrunches his nose. He glares at Numai, with no real aggression behind it, and bumps Numai with his hip to shove his back out of the way, and silently goes back to washing the dishes, with a smug smirk on his face. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Numai’s brows pinch together and he practically growls at Kyoutani, wrapping his arms tight around his waist. Kyoutani grunts, and tries to wrestle his way out of the grasp, surprised when he finds himself unable to. Numai carries him to the couch and dumps him into the cushions, after a firm look, Numai returns to the kitchen to wash up. “You better stay over there and watch the TV, if you walk over here, I’m only going to accept you drying up.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani is stunned into actually sitting down, watching Numai clean up in a daze. He was aware that Numai is strong, but something about the way Numai’s arms felt around him, and the stern command, was </span>
  <em>
    <span>hot</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Kyoutani obediently turns to the television, snapping out of his trance, neck burning with thoughts that should not have been had this early in the morning. He watches the television with intense focus but finds himself listening to Numai in the background anyway. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Numai cleans up, humming softly and once he’s finished, he drys and puts everything away. He joins Kyoutani on the sofa and pokes him in the leg with his foot. “See. That wasn’t so hard, was it?” He checks his watch and smiles. “We still have time. Did you want to ask anything else before we gotta go?” He really does want to open up to Kyoutani, but he doesn’t just want to start spilling his feelings without knowing that Kyoutani truly wants to listen.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani doesn’t look from the television, but shoves at Numai’s foot as he says, “Uh, yea, sure.” Squinting at the television, Kyoutani thinks of a good question to ask. He is still for about half a minute before he finally comes up with, “Why do you wanna be a doctor?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Well, at first it was about myself. About figuring out my issues, but that’s all about psychology and I learned it wasn’t about that, it is interesting, to see how the brain works, to see how humans cope with certain things.” Numai snorts, he pulls his legs up and hugs them to his chest. “Then I realised it was selfish and being a doctor isn’t about that, seeing people as just </span>
  <em>
    <span>humans</span>
  </em>
  <span> that needed figuring out was wrong. So I started putting way more into my studies, more effort, more into wanting to help those who needed it.” He sighs softly, smiling sadly. “Then my grandfather got sick, I felt helpless, I knew all this useless stuff but I couldn’t really help, not how I wanted too. I felt like a kid again, I could only watch. I never wanted to feel like that again, like a helpless child and the more I studied, the more it became like the only thing I wanted. I want to be someone that helpless kids can rely on. I want to be a paediatric doctor, help kids, save them and make them feel better. I have such a high dream, I can only hope I will reach it.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani stays silent after Numai finishes. He watches Numai’s face to check if he had been uncomfortable at all about talking about any sensitive topics. In the end, Kyoutani thought Numai looked pretty wistful, thinking about his future. Kyoutani felt himself coming to like Numai even more after hearing his aspirations and grew more curious about Numai’s family, but that was a topic that seemed to be extremely sensitive, seeing as Numai had been crying about his mother the other night. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kyoutani knitted his brows together, trying to figure out a way to ask Numai more, without accidentally triggering something inside him. Kyoutani takes a look at the clock, and upon seeing they only had a few minutes before they should leave for practice with the kids, he turns back to Numai and rubs at the back of his neck. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m uh… about your family- well. Hm. If you wanna talk about it. Like. Seems like a lot happened. But also, not right now. Like, not right now, we got places to be. But uh… If you wanna talk about it over dinner, or? Like, ok that sounded weird- just like- we don’t have anything else to do after dinner so it’d just be- yea. Like after afternoon practice. If you wanna talk about it.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Oh, shit!” Numai lets go of his legs and stands up, looking at the clock. “You’re right. I’ve just been sitting here talking your ear off. We should get ready to go.” He walks to the empty space behind the couch and goes about his routine—stretches then sit-ups and push-ups as normal, he goes to the door and pulls on his shoes. “I need to run. I’m just gonna do a quick lap or two around the cabin. We can walk up to the building together. If you’re okay with that.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani nods, and turns towards the television for a moment before turning back to Numai to ask, “Actually, can I join? I’ll uh, still wait for you to go if not.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Sure. I’ve never had a running buddy before.” Numai smiles, then he snorts softly. “Unless you count drills for the club, I’ve done plenty of them. Come on.” He pulls open the door and waits for Kyoutani.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani hops off the couch, slips on his sneakers, and walks out the door, and turns to start jogging backwards grinning at Numai, and then taking off, shouting “C’mon!” Numai snorts at Kyoutani and chases after him, quickly catching up with his speed.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>The day plays out the same as the previous ones, there isn’t a single moment where Numai thinks about sitting down and talking with Kyoutani. Even as they’re heading back to the cabin, Numai doesn’t feel worried or nervous, he leads them to the couch and plops down onto one of the cushions, pulling out his phone so he can look for a decent take-out to order from.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Did you enjoy today? I think Akori and Hagiko are a really great duo. They kinda remind me of the guys I played with in high-school.” Numai continues scrolling through his phone and finally finds a Chinese place to order from. “You like Chinese food? This place has an offer on their meals.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani nodded at the question, sitting down next to Numai. “Yeah go for it, but were the guys at your high school really that evil? Sometimes I swear they enjoy pulling off stupid tricks that should never work just to laugh in their opponents face. If they end up going to the same school they’re gonna be terrifying.” Kyoutani’s face scrunched up at the thought. It really would be terrifying.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Oh yeah, they were. Didn’t you ever hear of Nohebi?” Numai frowns at his phone, he places an order of some soft noodles, egg fried rice, curry sauce and fries. “They...</span>
  <em>
    <span>We</span>
  </em>
  <span> cheated. We pointed out flaws at our opponent's faces, sucked up to the refs, we would even cover a ball that was in and called it out. The refs wouldn’t know, but since we were nice to them and sucked up, they would give us the point. It was horrible really, I hated it. We’d always been like that, always led by Suguru, we all went to the same middle school, the third years. Myself, Sakishima, Suguru, Hiroo and Takachiho, it seemed like I was the only one who cared.” He puts his phone down and gazes off, brows pinched a little. “I was the only one who wanted to use my talent to win, not underhand cheating and sly words.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani hums, thinking. “I mean, that stuff won’t win you a game. Gotta have had some talent to win.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I guess so,” Numai mutters softly. “I ordered the food. The kids here love you, I’m really surprised that you’re pre-vet, I expected to hear that you’re going into teaching or coaching. Izaki especially, he really looks up to you, he’s been copying you.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani parts his lips in surprise and blinked slowly. With shining eyes, Kyoutani asks, “Really?” While Kyoutani liked kids, he often had trouble making a good enough first-impression to get them to like him with his aggressive looks. He’d been lucky that these kids were basically forced to be around him and that Numai helped introduce him to them. To hear that one of the kids not only liked him but looked up to him enough to copy him, seemed wild. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Yeah, I’ve seen him. He copies your moves. Who knows,” Numai gently pokes Kyoutani’s leg with his foot. “He might be the next Kyoutani, and you’ll be his inspiration. It’s nice to have that, especially at their ages. He’s cute.” And maybe (definitely) that’s a way for Numai to say Kyoutani is cute without directly complimenting him. “He’s definitely going to be an ace eventually. Maybe one day he’ll be a pro and he’ll be name dropping you.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani huffs and brings a foot up to push at Numai’s leg in retaliation. “Now I know you’re fuckin’ with me, ass.” Kyoutani would be paying closer attention to Izaki next time, to really test the theory out. He was an enthusiastic kid, and pretty skilled considering how much volleyball training he had. Kyoutani grins, as he thought about Izaki growing to be a pro. “If Izaki did turn out to go pro one day I think I’d cry on the spot.” Kyoutani snorts.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Oh, please invite me. It'll definitely be a change to see you crying rather than me.” Numai grins. “I’ll be taking pictures, I swear! I’ll convince him to invite me if you don’t do it.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani raises a brow and nudges at Numai again. “Rude.” With that, they fall into silence, and Kyoutani’s mind immediately goes to Numai’s family. Kyoutani scratches at his cheek and asks, “This should probably wait ‘till after the food gets here, but uh, with the doctor thing- well- uh. Did you always feel helpless?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Not always…But for a long time I was helpless.” Numai pulls his legs up and tips his head so he can rest his cheek on his knees. “My brother moved out when he was eighteen, I was nine. That’s when it started, I don’t know...I’m still trying to figure out why. Did they wait intentionally for my brother to leave? Why was it just me? I don’t have those answers.” He closes his eyes and takes a shaky breath. “My parents abused me, no-one noticed. They’re rich, they could do what they wanted, I didn’t matter. I was sixteen when I got away. Oomizu, my high school volleyball coach, was the first to notice. I was skipping practice or I faked being sick to stay on the bench. He noticed my scars, he saw the worst one.” Numai shifts off the couch and turns, tugging up his shirt, he points to the compass tattoo on the right side of his torso. “I covered it up, I didn’t want that reminder of what they did. I never wanted to see it again. After my coach found out, the authorities were called, my grandparents took me in, it’s their money, their name that’s rich, so they cut my mo- <em>Aika</em>, off. My parents had nothing to protect themselves after that, so they went to jail and that was the end of it.” He lets go of his shirt and drops down to the couch.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“They’d make sure that anything was hidden, but there was one time where one of the cuts went too long and deep, I couldn’t cover it with my shorts so I stopped playing for a while. I always think I’m okay, then something sets me off. That night when you shouted at me and I refused to move from the couch, I thought you might hit me, just the yelling made me feel cornered. And the water thing. They used to make me do that if I was crying so...It’s sorta like a crutch now I guess. Um, yeah, that’s everything.” He pulls his legs up again and rests his cheek on his knees, waiting on bated breath for Kyoutani to say something.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani stares at Numai in shock, and scoots closer to Numai, and reaches out hesitantly at Numai, but pulls back when he hears the doorbell ring. Kyoutani looks to the door and Numai in a panic, and jumps up, grabbing his wallet from his bag by the door. He quickly pays for the food, bringing it back to the couch, settling back next to Numai. Kyoutani takes a deep breath, bracing himself, and mutters, “Sorry. You- hm. You didn’t deserve any of that. So, sorry. Like, for screaming and stuff. I’m uh- yea. Shitty. So. I mean, that shit you went through.” Kyoutani moves his gaze down to Numai’s stomach, eyeing where the scar is, currently hidden by Numai’s shirt. “You didn’t deserve that shit. And I’ll stand by that. You're a pretty good person, so.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kyoutani wants to mention that Daishou was stupid to not like him back, but that felt like he’d be exposing himself, and reminding Numai of something shitty all at once, so he stays quiet, sitting awkwardly close to Numai without actually touching him. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Numai had been disappointed when Kyoutani got up to answer the door, he’d been waiting and expecting the comforting hand, only for it to move away. Now they’re sitting close together, Numai is letting Kyoutani’s words sink in and firmly shakes his head, he reaches out, his hand shaking a little. It’s not that he’s scared of touch, he’s just worried that Kyoutani might suddenly change his mind and push Numai away, still he perceivers and places his hand gently on Kyoutani’s forearm. Kyoutani allows the touch.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Hey. You are not a shitty person. I know that you were frustrated or whatever, I get it so I forgive you for yelling. And I hear what you’re saying.” He softly squeezes Kyoutani’s arm, as if it’s a lifeline, protecting him. “You tell me I’m good, I trust you. It’s just harder for me to believe that. If I was good, would my parents do what they did? What kind of parents even do that to a child? I still blame myself sometimes, if only I could have been better, normal...Whatever then they would have loved me, they wouldn’t have hurt me. They’re shitty people, not you. I don’t believe you could ever stoop that low.” Numai slowly pulls his hand back then gets up to grab some plates and cutlery from the kitchen. He returns to the sofa and digs into the bag of food, plating up the egg fried rice, the noodles and fries then topping it off with a hearty drizzle of the curry sauce. “I think you’re great, so yeah...Don’t say you’re shitty.” He grabs one of the forks and starts digging into his plate eating quietly.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani plates his own food quietly, contemplating. He takes a large bite from the fried rice and swallows. “Thanks,” he says, finally, “I uh- you’re not shitty either.” Embarrassed, Kyoutani takes another large bite of his food, staring down into his plate. Numai smiles softly, watching Kyoutani for a moment before turning back to his own plate to eat, refocusing his attention on the television.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>They eat quietly together, and once they’re done, Numai takes the plates to the sink while Kyoutani cleans up their trash, Numai doesn’t bother to wash up though, electing to leave the dishes for the morning and returns to the sofa, settling next to Kyoutani to watch the television.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>It’s a pretty slow night, but isn’t boring or awkward, like the talk has helped to clear things up more between them and it makes Numai happy that Kyoutani saw him as a good person, especially after being a little standoffish when they’d first met. The hours tick away, Numai yawns and stretches, rubbing one eye with his hand. “I’m gonna sleep.” He says like it isn’t obvious and gets up to retreat to the bedroom.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani nods and moves to the bathroom to brush his teeth.  Numai throws his shirt aside and changes out of his sweatpants into some pyjama shorts then crawls into bed, sighing happily when his head hits the pillow. Kyoutani returns from the bathroom soon after, taking off his sweater and shirt in one go, he swaps his joggers for baggy sweatpants and slips into the other side of the bed as if it was the most natural thing to do.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani finds himself drifting off to sleep a lot easier than he had the past couple of nights, no longer finding himself nervously aware of Numai’s presence, but actually finding it pretty comforting. Numai is already settled by the time he feels the bed dip, he closes his eyes and drifts off peacefully, feeling lighter and more relaxed than he has in a long time.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Hidden Away</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Kyoutani wakes up to the sound of his alarm going off into the other room, for a moment he just lays there, enjoying the warmth of the bed and eventually, he dazedly squints open his eyes. He blinks a couple times, grunting, his vision blurry. He tries moving an arm, and finds it trapped under- Kyoutani begins to blink rapidly, his vision finally clearing.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Numai hums at the noise, he yawns and slowly blinks open his eyes, the sleep washes away almost instantly when he’s met by the sight of Kyoutani’s face, dangerously close, then it hits him that their bodies are tangled together. He can feel himself turning red and quickly pulls away, turning his back to Kyoutani as quickly as possible, trying quietly to steady the way his breathing has spiked. “S-sorry.” He mutters, keeping his face turned away.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani was shocked still, just barely managing to catch Numai’s face a breath away, Kyoutani turns away to face the wall as well, and mutters, “ ‘S ok. Guess we should’ve learned we’re both cuddlers, huh?” Kyoutani jokes lightly, trying not to let it show just how shaken he was by the sensation of Numai so close, in his arms. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Numai chuckles, though it feels a little forced and completely awkward, he just hopes that Kyoutani doesn’t pick up on that. “Yeah! I guess we are.” He pulls himself to his feet, leaving behind the bed to collect some fresh clothes from the closet. “Well, uh, I’m gonna get ready. I’ll make breakfast while you wash up and stuff.” He half-rushes to the bathroom, not wanting to seem too desperate to leave and quietly shuts the door, locking it with a soft sigh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kyoutani relaxes back into the bed as Numai leaves, and turns his face into the pillow, groaning. He finds that it still smells like Numai, and then turns onto his back. He feels stupid, wordlessly just jumping into bed with Numai last night, despite knowing how they had woken up the last few days. Kyoutani was going to figure out a way to put some kind of wall between them before he ever got in that bed with Numai again. He’s been pretty great at making Numai uncomfortable, but at least Numai wasn’t going on a run this time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eventually, Kyoutani has to get up and throws the covers off of himself, and pads over to the drawer to collect his clothes for the day, and then sits back on the bed to wait for Numai to come out of the bathroom. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Numai has a slow shower for a change, giving himself to calm down and forget about the way his heart is still racing after the close proximity he had been in, moments earlier, with Kyoutani. As per usual, he dries and dresses in the bathroom, this time taking a deep breath before emerging, he takes his dirty clothes to the laundry bin then smiles shyly at Kyoutani, already feeling the blush creeping up his neck. “I’ll start on breakfast.” Then he ducks out of the bedroom and walks to the kitchen, putting together some ingredients to make pancakes.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani takes it as his chance to hop into the shower quickly. Numai makes the mixture first, then gets out a pan and two plates. He smiles to himself, starting to pour the batter a scoop at a time into the pan, flipping them with practised ease.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Kyoutani finished, he dressed quickly, the smell of cooking batter permeating into the bathroom. Kyoutani came out into the kitchen sniffing the air, and then his eyes landed on a cooking Numai, a spot of flour on Numai’s cheek by his nose. He snorts as he towels at his hair, and says, “You really are a clumsy ass.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Numai’s brows raise and he glances at Kyoutani. “What did I do now?” He huffs softly and turns to plating the rest of the pancakes, he goes to set them on the table along with cutlery then gets out the bottle of syrup he’d seen in the cupboard and some fruit from the fridge, setting them down in the centre of the table. “Here you go. You can add whatever you want on top now.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani raises an eyebrow and sits on the corner of the table and says, “You got a little flour, like right on your fuckin cheek. How close were you to the bowl when you whisked that shit?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“What?” Numai scowls, he reaches up and brushes the spot he thinks Kyoutani is talking about. “Maybe it just came off my hands. Did I get it?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani shakes his head, “Other cheek, dumbass.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Maybe your first instructions should be more clear and tell me which side to begin with.” He reaches up to his other cheek and brushes his fingers over it, then he looks at Kyoutani. “Well, happy now?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Sighing, Kyoutani tries to point at the location, “No you still didn’t- Jesus fuck.” and with that Kyoutani pushes off the table, and grabs Numai by the back of the head, and uses his other hand to wipe roughly at the flour on his cheek. He pulls back, just as suddenly, and grabs a paper towel to wipe his hands on before walking over to sit at the table, neck feeling warm. “Let’s eat.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Numai can feel his whole face and neck burning from Kyoutani’s actions, to take an extra moment he hums to himself and collects two bottles of water from the fridge, then he joins Kyoutani at the table, sliding one over and keeping the other near himself. He picks up the syrup and drizzles it over his pile of pancakes then starts to dig in.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani is already a quarter way through his pancakes when Numai joins him. Kyoutani hums through a full mouth to get Numai’s attention, and gives a thumbs up. Numai shakes his head, but smiles and continues making his way through his own stack of pancakes, trying to ignore how warm he feels just from seeing the way Kyoutani enjoys his cooking.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kyoutani finishes his pancakes with a sigh, and leans back, satisfied, and starts to watch Numai eating, but shifts his gaze away, looking down at his lap. Numai notices the way Kyoutani shifts around, his brows furrow and he gently kicks Kyoutani’s food under the table, swallowing his mouthful before talking. “You alright?” He thinks back to this morning and pokes at his pancakes nervously. “You’re not still freaked out because of this morning, are you?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani shrugged, “Nah. Just, y’know, said I wouldn’t just stare at you while you eat.” Kyoutani picks at the hem of his shirt, embarrassed. “I’ll, uh. Sleep on the couch again tonight, so. We won’t have to worry about that stuff happenin’.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Numai nods, he abandons the rest of his pancakes in favour of starting his morning routine, trying to ignore how heavy his chest feels. Kyoutani scratches at his arm, a little nervous about the lukewarm response, and moves to clean up the dishes. Numai stretches out, does his sit-ups then his push-ups and slowly walks to the door, pulling on his sneakers before opening the door. He glances back at Kyoutani and tries a smile, though he’s certain it probably doesn’t look happy at all. “It doesn’t bother me,” He bravely says, then sighs softly. “I uh, I understand if it bothers you, so...Don’t force yourself. I already told you that.” He gives a small wave then vanishes out the door to go for a run.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kyoutani blinks at the door and then quickly turns to put away the last of the dishes. Kyoutani was backing off because he thought Numai was uncomfortable with what happened this morning. In a way, Kyoutani is a bit bothered by it, considering he was all curled up with what he was pretty sure was some stupid one-sided crush that would probably forget about him as soon as the week was over. Which is tomorrow. Kyoutani’s chest squeezes painfully, and he trudges into the bathroom to finish his morning routine.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When he’s done, Kyoutani can’t bring himself to leave for the gym for morning practice with the kids without Numai. So, Kyoutani sits at the couch facing the door, watching it closely and keeping his ears peeled for when Numai would come back so they could walk over together. <br/></span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>Numai goes outside the camp-site again, runs and runs, he runs until he can barely breathe. He stops at some point, the scenery around him is unfamiliar, it's definitely further than he's ever run before, there's a small hill, leading up to some trees so Numai throws himself down on the incline. He takes long, deep breaths, staring aimlessly at the sky.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He doesn't even flinch or move when someone gently hits his ankle, with a sigh, he screws his eyes shut and hopes Kyoutani will leave. “Hey, dude. Are you okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The unfamiliar voice makes Numai sit up, he blinks slowly at the stranger and nods his head. “I've just been on a run.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I see. So you're taking a break here?” Numai nods again, the stranger hums, he sits at the edge of the incline, then reaches out and trails his fingers up Numai’s shin, a slow, steady touch. “Well, if you need help, pretty boy, I can show you around. You look a little lost.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Numai shakes his head firmly, glancing back towards the camp-site, or at least in the direction he came from and it hits him that he doesn't </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> know the way back. He doesn't even have anyone to call. “I don't know the way back.” He mutters softly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I'll help you!” The stranger hops up, he holds his hand out and Numai cautiously takes it, only to be surprised at how easily this guy pulls him up. “My name is Sukegawa Katsuhiko. You can call me Hiko if you'd like.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I'm Numai Kazuma. Thank you for your help.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course! Don't sweat it. I'm parked around the corner.” Numai nods, then follows Sukegawa to his car. It's a little thing and all the windows are blacked out. Numai’s brows furrow, Sukegawa opens a door and waits. “I'm not going to hurt you.” Numai approaches slowly, as if he's afraid, through the door he can see stuff packed in the front passenger seat. He's nervous about getting in the back and turns around to tell Sukegawa that he'll find his own way, only to be unexpectedly met by his face right in front of him. “What's wrong with it? Doesn't it suit your pretty face?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Numai opens his mouth, quickly taken off guard by a small slap then a firm push into the car. He tries to sit up and get out, but Sukegawa is quick, and he climbs over without issue, pressing his palms down against Numai’s shoulders. “Everything comes at a price, pretty boy. It's only my duty to make sure you pay yours.” Numai swallows fear clawing up his spine. “Stay still. It's only going to hurt more if you move.” Numai grunts, he tries to shift his weight under Sukegawa and receives another firm slap. “Stop that. Once you pay, then you can go. I'll help you to get back.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No! I don't want </span>
  <em>
    <span>your </span>
  </em>
  <span>help.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tough shit, you already agreed. So just keep that noisy mouth closed and we won't have an issue.” Sukegawa uses his hand to make Numai nod and smirks dangerously. “You better mean that.” Numai swallows, closing his eyes when Sukegawa's hands move from his shoulders to his sides.<br/></span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>Kyoutani had waited until the very last minute, and figured that Numai had gone to the gym without him. It kind of stung that Numai wouldn’t even come back for his bag, so he grabbed both of their things, and headed out to the main building, sulking. When he arrives to find Numai’s not there, Kyoutani starts to think that maybe Numai’s run went a little too long. He knew Numai, to some degree, and he wouldn’t just abandon his responsibilities like that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Trying his best not to panic, Kyoutani informs Coach Aizawa that Numai is missing, and she assures him she’ll keep a lookout and tells him to start the morning practice, and she’ll send Numai his way when he gets back. Kyoutani shifts nervously, but agrees. He’s tense the whole time, unsure of what to do without Numai by his side, and a whole group of kids to himself. Many of them ask where Numai went, and Kyoutani has to make some lame excuse for them. It hurts. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Practice seems to drag on forever when Kyoutani is constantly glancing at the door, but when it finally finishes, he waves a hasty goodbye to the kids and runs down to Coach Aizawa’s office, where she informs him that Numai hasn’t been spotted yet. Kyoutani asks for a replacement for the afternoon. He’s going to search for Numai.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kyoutani combs through the whole campus, desperately shouting Numai’s name through the buildings and surrounding forest, his heart in constant overdrive. He stops at the lake, and stares at the spot where they had laid together, and he feels his eyes start to burn at tears trying to push their way up. But Kyoutani doesn’t have the time for tears, he </span>
  <em>
    <span>has</span>
  </em>
  <span> to find Numai. But for hours, no one answers his call, and Numai still isn’t here. When he returns to Coach Aizawa, dirtied from his trek, eyeliner streaking down his face, Aizawa tells him to rest. Kyoutani protests, and moves to go back out, but Aizawa, surprisingly strong for her age, grips Kyoutani’s arm, effectively stopping him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aizawa gives him a chilling stare, and commands him to go to his cabin, and she will get some people mobilized to keep a lookout for Numai. She sends some guy with Kyoutani to make sure he doesn’t try to escape to look for Numai once again, and Kyoutani finds himself glaring at him the whole way to the cabin. When they arrive, Kyoutani drops into the nearest chair, and turns to stare at the door, as if willing Numai to come through.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It's late when Numai finally gets back to the camp-site, he sniffles softly and tries to wipe away his tears. Of course, the moment he stops paying attention, he falls over his own feet and hits the ground with a groan. He lays there, staring off as he sobs silently. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Numai-kun?!” Aizawa's voice registers in his brain but all he can do is let out a small sob. “Everyone has been worried!” Somehow Numai can't believe that. Aizawa calls over help. It takes a moment but then he's moved carefully, there's a smaller building which is used if any of the kids have an accident. “I'm going to get Kyoutani-kun. He's been asking all day about Numai-kun.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They must be good friends.” There's a different voice and Numai moves enough to see a nurse there, Aizawa nods then leaves the room. “Hi, Numai-kun. I'm Nurse Ishichi. I’m going to look after you today. Is that okay?” Numai nods, he closes his eyes and barely moves as she goes about checking him over. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kyoutani is heard before he’s seen, the quick pattering of feet of the floor indicating his presence and he nearly bursts in through the door, heart in his throat and breathing ragged. As soon as he spots Numai he wants to bring him into his arms, tell him that he’s so glad he’s here and that he’ll be more careful, and that he didn’t want Numai to leave, he wants Numai to stay right with him, and that Kyoutani </span>
  <em>
    <span>waited</span>
  </em>
  <span> for what felt like forever, but he sees the nurse, sees a rough-looking Numai, and he freezes a foot from the doorway, staring. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Numai feels the new presence but he only moves when the nurse takes a step back, he looks over, giving a small smile to Kyoutani before relaxing back again. Kyoutani nearly falls on his knees as his breath turns panicked. He leans back against the doorway to catch his breath for a second, and then turns back to Numai, scanning him for any obvious injuries, shuffling around on his feet. With a hoarse voice, nearly lost from the screaming, he asks, “Are you ok?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Numai glances at the nurse, who gives him a small smile then quietly leaves the room, he pulls himself up and uses the pillows to support himself. “I’m fine,” Numai mutters, an easy lie, then he shakes his head and sighs. “Can you come in? Shut the door, please.” Kyoutani follows the orders obediently, and makes his way over to Numai with his hands shoved in his pockets to mask the way that they were trembling. “I shouldn’t have run off like that. I always do it when I get scared or I just need to breathe. But I went too far, I got lost and this guy offered to help.” He takes a shaky breath and sniffles softly. “He wasn’t a good person though. He hurt me.” Numai pauses, glancing nervously at Kyoutani.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani reaches out, with still shaky hands, but pulls them back to his side. He’s not sure if Numai wants to be touched right now. Kyoutani should have called out after Numai, asked him to work it out before he went on that goddamn run. He should’ve been looking off-campus and maybe he could’ve prevented this. Kyoutani wraps his arms around himself, shaking his head. “I should’ve stopped you so we could’ve talked about it or something. You- I’m sorry.” Kyoutani glances between the floor and Numai, and mutters in a quiet voice, “Can I hug you?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“It’s okay. I’m fine. Don’t blame yourself.” Numai pulls himself up fully, hissing at the slight pain in his side, he ignores it and carefully reaches out, gently brushing his hand over Kyoutani’s shoulder. He pulls back quickly and sets his hands in his lap, looking down at them. “I thought it freaked you out. The stuff I went through with my parents. You seemed happier when you said you’d sleep on the couch. So…” He scratches at his arms and sighs softly. “I thought it was easier if I left, if I ignored it and gave you the space you wanted. But it’s not easy. I’ve...I’ve never opened up to anyone this easily before. I thought we could be friends.” Numai glances away, looking at the spot where the floor meets the wall. “I care about you...About what you think. Yeah.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani frowns. There’s been another misunderstanding, and Kyoutani is gonna have to use his words to clear it up. He slowly places a tentative hand on Numai’s knee and says, “I wasn’t freaked out about the family thing, to uh, start things off I guess. I wanna be your friend” </span>
  <em>
    <span>and more</span>
  </em>
  <span> his brain supplies. “I mean. I thought since you like, jumped out of bed and shit that you were like, uncomfortable and shit. I uh… what you think is- hm.... Important. So. Thought sleeping back on the couch would be a better idea. So you’re not freakin’ out when I’m all up on you in the morning. So. Uh. Yea. I’m not tryna distance myself. Or anything like that shit. You’re a good dude. Told ya this. So.” Kyoutani shrugs and removes his hand from Numai’s knee to scratch at his cheek awkwardly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t freak out. It wasn’t that, I was just embarrassed. The first time when we woke up together and I was cuddling you, you looked pissed. Just thought I was the issue, and it embarrassed me that I was cuddling up to someone who was essentially a stranger. Now you’re asking if you can hug me? It just seems crazy, and a little surreal. I don’t want to push you away. I thought, at the end of all this...After tomorrow, that maybe we could exchange numbers and stay in contact as friends. But, yeah, I understand if you don’t want to.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No! Like-fuck. Like yea. I wanna be friends and shit. So uh.” Kyoutani pats down his pockets searching for his phone, and then realizes it’s in the cabin. “When we get back, my number. For sure. I, uh. Wasn’t pissed by the way. More confused I think. Like, don’t really get a lot of hugs and shit over here, so it was like, woah, but like it wasn’t bad! So uh, don’t worry about that. Wasn’t bad. So. I was, uh. Happy to help you sleep. So. It’s whatever. Not like whatever 'whatever', but shit- I’m gonna yea- I'll shut up you need rest.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Numai turns back to Kyoutani, his hand stopping where it’s been scratching his arm. “I uh. It sounds weird, but I have a stuffed bear at home, Yasu. I normally sleep with him and cuddle it. I sorta guess you became like that, not that I intended or planned for it to happen. But I’ve never slept so well before. I dunno, you relax me, so...That’s what freaked me out, I kept thinking after this week that we’ll just go our separate ways and I’d lose it. But if you really wanna keep in touch then I’d like that. And maybe if you still wanted that hug now?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Silently, Kyoutani brings his arm around Numai’s shoulders, bringing Numai’s head to his chest, and squeezing lightly, trying not to irritate any injuries. Numai relaxes into Kyoutani’s embrace, cautiously bringing up an arm to wrap around Kyoutani, he stays there, breathing slowly and collecting himself.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Eventually, Numai slowly pulls away, only to feel breathless all over again when he looks at Kyoutani. He can feel a blush warming his ears and he pulls back, smiling ever so slightly at Kyoutani. “Can I...talk to you about what happened today?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kyoutani flushes and puts his hand back in his pockets as he nods. “We should, uh, probably not do that here though. You all nursed up? I can take you back to the cabin or whatever if you’re done.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Yeah. She said I can go when I feel ready.” Numai moves, placing his feet onto the floor, he leans over to grab the glass of water and downs the liquid in one. “Are you ready to go? I’m starving too, so you could cook something nice up for me.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani snorts,  turns his back to Numai, squats down slightly and reaches back to tap Numai’s legs, “Yea, hop on, I’ll carry ya.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Numai laughs softly, snorting a little. He scoots towards Kyoutani, sliding his arms over his shoulders and securing his legs around his waist. “Okay. I’m ready when you are. Sure you got me? If you drop me, I will kick your ass.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani hoists Numai up, huffing, “Please, you act like you’re so heavy. I’m not the clumsy one here.” and with that, he starts walking to the cabin, using his arms to hold Numai’s legs. He removes an arm to open the door to the cabin, and walks in, kicking the door closed behind him. Kyoutani moves to put Numai down slowly on the couch, squatting down carefully, and sitting them both down onto the couch. “Ok, I’mma get to work on dinner. Any requests?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hm, dunno. What do we have to eat?” Numai hums softly, gazing off while he thinks. “My favourite thing is fried rice but we just had some last night with the Chinese and I don’t wanna eat too much of it. Maybe eggs and sausages? I don’t mind, you know what I don’t like so...You can figure the rest out.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani gets up from the couch, nodding, and heads over to the kitchen preparing an egg and sausage sandwich, using two pans. In one he scrambled and cooked the eggs and sausage, and in the other, he toasted four pieces of bread, when he was done, he assembled everything together and added cheese, which melted between the heat of the sandwich. Numai turns his head and quietly watches Kyoutani working away in the kitchen, his body relaxing at how normal it feels. Kyoutani plates the sandwiches and goes over to the fridge. “We got water and some juice, any preference?” Kyoutani calls over his shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Water is fine.” Numai answers.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani nods, grabbing two waters in one hand, and balancing the other two plates on his other arm. He sets everything down on the table, and sits down next to Numai, grabbing his own plate, saying, “Eat up.” before taking a large bite of his sandwich.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Numai nods, he reaches for his own plate then digs into the sandwich, almost moaning at how good it tastes. “Wow, Tani! You’re a real master chef, this is amazing. How do you do this with something so simple?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani snorts and swallows the bite he's been working on,  “Seasoning. Also, are you really one to talk after I’ve literally fuckin tasted your cookin’ with my mouth. You could prolly make somethin’ delicious as shit with simple shit too. So.” Kyoutani shrugged. Kyoutani, despite his words, felt his heart warm at the compliment. It meant more to him, knowing Numai was basically a chef himself. He takes another big bite to stop himself from being sappier than already was being. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe. I learned to cook myself, but I usually don’t have anyone to cook for. Sometimes my brother visits me, but he has his own life. You’re probably the first person I’ve cooked for since I moved out of my grandparent's place—Well, first friend anyway…” Numai smiles softly and takes a few more bites of the sandwich, humming as taste blooms over his tongue. “This is really good. How did you learn?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“From my mom. Had to cook for my sister when my mom and Ryouko had work, and for myself, from before my mom met Ryouko, but that was more simple stuff to survive.” Kyoutani answers the question, trying not to focus too hard on the fact that he’s the only friend to have tasted Numai’s cooking. Numai had just offered his cooking like it was nothing, but it was a more precious gift than he realized. Daishou hadn’t even gotten the privilege of tasting Numai’s cooking. Kyoutani busies himself with the sandwich before he thinks any more about that particular thread of ideas. Best not to keep his hopes up with that kind of thing, though Kyoutani could probably rest assured that Numai wanted to keep talking to him, even outside of the camp. But he wasn’t keeping his hopes up. His method of stuffing his face to distract himself was quickly becoming something non-feasible, as he took the last bite of his sandwich.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Numai finishes his sandwich moments behind Kyoutani and piles their plates together, making no move to wash them. Instead, he pulls his legs up and looks at Kyoutani. “About today. Can we talk now?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani nods, pulling up his legs as well to face Numai. He looks at Numai with a serious and level expression as he says, “If you ever need to stop, or need to like, drink some water, or just like, pause for a second, feel free to do that shit. Even if it’s like the middle of a sentence of something.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Okay, yeah.” Numai uncaps one of the water bottles and takes a quick sip, he sighs softly and tilts his head slightly. “I thought he was helping. He offered me a ride since I got lost, and...I was stupid enough to believe him. Then he said he wanted payment for his help, he pushed me into the car, smacked me around a little, just enough to hurt.” He gently rubs his hands along his sides. “I thought it was a bit weird. What kinda freak wants to beat someone as payment? But then he. He just stripped. I was so scared, he made me touch him, I was afraid he’d do more. I was tired and in pain. When he grabbed my hands to put on him, I used it to hurt him. Then I ran, all the way back here and collapsed.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani scowls the whole way through the story. Kyoutani balls his fists in his lap and tries to collect himself. He’s breathing heavily, and he trains his eyes on Numai’s sides, where he assumed some of the injuries were sustained. Kyoutani was tempted to storm out, find this guy, and beat him within an inch of his life, but he knew more violence isn’t what Numai needed right now. He needed to calm his temper down before he did something stupid or stared yelling in Numai’s face, but when he closed his eyes all he could see was Numai, trapped and panicked. Kyoutani bristles and seethes, “That motherfucker…” growling dangerously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kyoutani is shaking with the effort to stay still, his whole body stiff and trembling. “He deserves fuckin’ hell for that bullshit.” Kyoutani grits out.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“The real world is full of horrors. My brother tells me I trust too easily.” Numai starts scratching his right arm, frowning down at the plates on the table. “I guess he’s right.” He glances at Kyoutani, still subconsciously scratching his arm. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Sometimes </span>
  </em>
  <span>he’s right. I think I’m right to trust you though. I trust that you won’t ever tell any of this to anyone.”<br/><br/></span>
  <span>Kyoutani nods, with a solemn look on his face. “This never leaves the room. That’s a promise.” Kyoutani’s heart felt like it was pounding at his ribs, and for a moment, Kyoutani wonders if Numai trusts Daishou this much. Kyoutani scratches at his leg, distractedly and opens his mouth to ask that exact question, but figures Numai didn’t need some awkward jealousy on top of everything that happened to him today. Instead, Kyoutani asks, “So, do ya need anything, like sleep, or like some reassurance or somethin’ I’m not super great with words, and shit, but y’know. I’ll try.” Kyoutani moves his gaze back to Numai, watching as he scratches at already irritated red skin. Kyoutani reaches out to grab Numai’s hand. “Ya gonna hurt yourself.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Numai looks down and immediately starts to feel warmer when he sees the way Kyoutani is holding onto him. “Habit,” Numai mutters, he glances away from Kyoutani’s face and awkwardly clears his throat, Kyoutani takes his hand back to rest on his own lap.  “I uh, have some cream in my bag. And, maybe you’re not super tactful, but that works for me, it’s kinda refreshing. I don’t really like to talk to my brother about it, since I was abused and he wasn’t, it just leaves me with a pile of questions so I mostly avoid talking with him. My therapist sounds scripted half of the time. I like the way you say things, it makes me feel at ease.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani shrugs, a little flustered at the compliment, and gets up to grab Numai’s bag and puts it down in front of him on the couch so that the bag is between them. “Didn’t know what pocket it would be in, and felt kinda rude to scrounge through it so.” He gestures to the bag. He stares at the bag silently for a moment as Numai reaches into his bag, pulling out the white box that had all his first aid things inside, and then adds, “I’m uh… glad I can help.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Numai opens the box and finds out the correct cream, he applies some straight onto his arm then slowly rubs it in. “I really appreciate it. You're a great friend, especially when we haven't known each other long, I know that I don't usually make the best first impression, so I'm really glad that you want to be my friend.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kyoutani snorts, “I could say the same. I’ve had some people just look at me and you can see the ‘nope’ on their fuckin’ faces. So ‘preciate ya too.” Kyoutani leans back on the couch and stares at the wall, thinking. His ears get a little red as he asks, “So what about the sleeping shit? Let’s uh. Actually, I’ll uh- leave it up to you. ‘Cept if you say you’re sleepin’ on the couch. Cause then I’ll drag your ass to the bed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don't mind sharing with you. If that's what you're asking.” Numai chuckles softly and snorts. “The couch isn't that bad to sleep on anyway. But the bed is more comfortable and there’s plenty of room for both of us.” He shrugs, trying to seem more dismissive about it so that the warm feeling in his chest doesn’t start spreading further. Though he’s certain he can already feel it over his ears.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani hums, still looking at the wall, embarrassed. “Yeah. But since both of us seem to, uh. Move around at night. If we end up- like. Y’know. Then uh. Let’s just be chill about it. Like, uh. No sorry or anything we can just-. Y’know. We’re friends. It’s fine.” Kyoutani’s face is red, and he can’t even bring himself to say cuddling or even think about waking up close to Numai without getting his tongue tied up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay. No apologies.” Somehow, that only makes Numai feel warmer and he almost wants to giggle at the butterflies tickling his stomach. He smiles softly and gently pokes his bag so it falls towards Kyoutani. “You wanna watch something for a little while?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani grabs the bag, and sets it down in front of the couch, “I’m down.” With that, he turns his gaze to the television.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Numai snorts, he reaches for the television remote and switches it on, flicking through the channels to settle on a rerun of a movie that’s been on a hundred times before. “Is this okay with you?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Yea.” Kyoutani leaned back into the corner of the couch, resting his head against the armrest, and curling up his legs so that they were about a foot away from Numai, watching the television in interest.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Numai settles back too, relaxing as he focuses on the movie. It’s easy to zone out a little and sort through his thoughts, mostly the thoughts of Kyoutani, the warm feeling that comes with the things he does and says, the way he acts, how he accepts even the bad parts of Numai’s life. The bad parts that Numai is usually nervous to share with anyone who isn’t part of his immediate family, the only people outside of his family who know are the guys from his high-school volleyball club.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>He spaces out a little, the exhaustion of the day tugging at his brain and body. He closes his eyes for a moment and slumps on the couch, falling toward Kyoutani. The soft bump alerts Numai and he mutters a soft apology, straightening up with a yawn, he rests against the back of the couch. Kyoutani mutters a quick “It's fine” and finds himself dozing off as well.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>The next time Numai falls towards Kyoutani, he doesn’t move away and his eyes stay closed, mouth parting slightly as he starts to drift away. “Tani…” He mutters in a daze, voice soft and hazy. </span>
  <span>Kyoutani is nearly asleep himself and just hums. He shifted over to lay more on his back, making it more comfortable for both of them and found himself dozing off quickly with the warmth and weight of Numai on top of him.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Where Do We Go from Here</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Numai wakes feeling well-rested, his eyes flutter open and he reaches up to rub away the sleep clouding his eyes. He blinks, once then twice and freezes when he sees Kyoutani’s face up close to his own. Numai freezes up, a blush spreads up his neck to high on his cheeks, he barely breathes and he can hardly begin to move away. </span>
  <span>After a moment and a deep breath, he finds his way off Kyoutani, then slinks quietly to the bedroom and picks out some clean clothes. Numai takes one last look at Kyoutani then escapes to the bathroom. The rush of the shower water helps him relax and he tries to sort out his feelings, the only thing he’s certain of, is that he likes Kyoutani, as more than a friend.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <em>
    <span>He’s screwed.</span>
  </em>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani wakes up to the sound of the shower, feeling a bit cold. He wonders how he slept through the night without a blanket, and sits up, yawning, rubbing at his arms to preserve some warmth. He assumes Numai actually went to the bed for the night, especially considering his injuries. As he woke up a bit more, Kyoutani realized that today they would be leaving, and they’d both go back to their own lives. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The thought of it makes Kyoutani frown, but he makes a resolution to savour this day and his time with Numai. He hops up off the couch and goes to the kitchen. He’ll prepare a good breakfast to eat together, a classic: eggs, bacon, and toast. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Numai’s shower is just long enough for him to sort through his thoughts and he comes to realise just how nervous he is about today. Their very last day, and Kyoutani had agreed to exchange numbers, but it was still a little scary to think about going their separate ways, Kyoutani could still change his mind, he might never answer the text messages. </span>
  <span>With a sigh, he makes sure he’s presentable then makes his way back to the lounge, smiling when he sees Kyoutani at the kitchen, preparing breakfast. Numai quietly goes to join him. “Morning.” He says softly, grabbing a pan to help set-up. “Did you sleep okay?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani turns at the sound of Numai’s voice, and nods. “Yea, it was a little cold when I woke up, but I was out like a rock for the rest of the night. Good to have the bed for yourself?” Kyoutani starts chopping up peppers and onions to put into the eggs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t go to bed,” Numai says, as casually as he can muster, his neck beginning to burn again at the memory of lying...like he had been, and, </span>
  <em>
    <span>no,</span>
  </em>
  <span> he can’t keep thinking about it. “Since it’s the last day, we might as well cook together. And you owe me a phone number, don’t be trying to get out of it.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani furrows his brows together. If Numai didn’t sleep- Kyoutani suddenly remembers a small memory from last night, Numai falling into his chest as Kyoutani shifted to accommodate him. Kyoutani’s neck warms and he replies, “Yea. You got it.” and sets his knife down, and moves to grab some bread from the cabinet. “Turn on the burner and put some butter on the pan. It’s better to toast on a pan, I think.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Add butter and turn the burner on</span>
  </em>
  <span>, like I’m an idiot.” Numai collects the butter then turns the burner on, moving it around in the pan with a twist of his wrist until it’s all melted. “I don’t want the onions. I forgot to mention them didn’t I.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>He sighs softly, feeling the apology creeping up his throat, he quickly swallows it down and sets up another pan to start cooking the eggs. Kyoutani shrugs, “ ‘S fine.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>While the butter is melting and Kyoutani deals with the bread, Numai digs through the cupboard, pulling some spices out. With a happy hum, he breaks the eggs into the other pan and seasons them quickly, with salt, pepper, cayenne pepper and a little chive, he mixes it all up, successfully blending them before adding the peppers and frowning at the onions.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>He separates the eggs in the pan into two halves and adds the onions to one, folding it in for Kyoutani. “How’s the toast looking?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani is serving up the toast, four slices, buttery and golden brown, and lifts up the plate, wordlessly showing how the toast was. He walks around Numai and opens the fridge to pull out some bacon, and holds it out for Numai to see. “You want some?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes! Bacon is the best. I think that anyone who says they don’t like it is a sociopath.” He chuckles softly and checks the eggs to make sure they aren’t burning. Everything looks good and it smells even better, he hums to himself and plates up the eggs, making sure his are on one, and Kyoutani’s (arguably disgusting) onion eggs are on the other plate.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani uses the same pan as the toast to cook the bacon, the smell mingling in the air deliciously, and Kyoutani finds himself smiling unconsciously, the domesticity of Numai cooking with him warming his heart. He pokes at the bacon occasionally, and when it’s finally cooked, he lifts the pan off the stove and splits the bacon onto their plates next to the eggs. Kyoutani puts the pan on the stove to cool before he puts it in the sink and says, “Let’s eat.” with a grin and expectant stare, sitting down at the table.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Numai nods, he grabs two bottles of water and some chopsticks then join Kyoutani at the table, handing over a pair of chopsticks to Kyoutani. “Team effort this time!” He grins and starts digging in, perking up at the taste of the eggs. “Oh, you’re gonna love this. Or well, I hope you will.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani takes one bite of the eggs and starts shovelling more into his mouth, using his free hand to give a thumbs-up as he dug in. He put the hand back down to grab at a piece of toast, biting into it with a satisfying crunch, and hums contentedly, leaning back in his chair to chew for a bit with his eyes closed, fully enjoying the taste in his mouth. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Numai smiles brightly, he takes a piece of toast and bites in with a hum. He tries some of the bacon too and makes a mini sandwich with the toast, humming again when he eats it. Numai swallows the bite and takes a drink. “Are you looking forward to the send-off party later? I think the kids are going to love it, and I’m excited to see them play.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani swallows his bite. “I mean, looking forward to seeing them play, cause it’s like a final game, so everyone’s gonna be all hype and shit, but I’m not really a party person. So. I’ll go for the kids and shit, but that’s about it. Probably won’t stay too long.” Kyoutani takes another large bite of his food. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well,” Numai nods, he takes a few more bites from his plate then smiles, gently nudging his foot against Kyoutani’s foot to get his attention. “We’ll have each other at least, I’d never leave one of my friends alone. So if you want to leave early or even if you don’t want to go, let me know, we can hang out for a while.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani blinks up at Numai, surprised. “Oh. Yea. Sure. I’d like that.” The admission of that made Kyoutani’s neck warm, and he dug back into his food, nearly finished. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Numai finishes his breakfast, then goes to get started with the cleaning up, leaving a towel out for Kyoutani to dry their dishes. “Number, before I forget. Unless you changed your mind.” He tugs his phone out of his pocket and nervously plays with it between his hands. “Where's yours?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani huffs, and goes off into the living room to grab his phone from his bag. He unlocks it as he walks over to Numai. He takes Numai’s phone from his hands, and replaces it with his own. “I didn’t change my mind, dumbass:” He moves to start putting in his number, and then blinks down at Numai’s phone, realizing that it was locked. Kyoutani frowns. “Uh. Sorry. Can you unlock this shit?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well if you don’t just grab things, maybe I could have.” Numai shakes his head, he adds his number to Kyoutani’s contact list then puts the phone on the side to take his own back and unlocks it. “Don’t call me a dumbass either.” He passes his phone back and waits. “Don’t drop it.” His voice is a little harsh, but his face is soft enough to give away how he doesn’t really mind.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani rolls his eyes, “You’re the clumsy ass, surprised you didn’t drop mine.” He puts his number in Numai’s contacts without any complaint anyway. For a moment, Kyoutani pauses, wanting to put something clever for his name, but just ends up putting his full name. Kyoutani passes the phone back to Numai saying, “There you are. I’ll uh- dishes.” and then goes past Numai to start drying the dishes.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Sure.” Numai scoffs, gently bumping Kyoutani’s shoulder when he walks past, he tucks away his phone and starts his usual morning routine. Stretching first, then doing sit-ups, and push-ups, with a quick glance at Kyoutani, he continues his push-ups on one hand, keeping his eyes away from checking to see if Kyoutani looks.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani is looking. Directly at Numai’s bicep, and he drops a fork into the sink, sending it clattering. He turns back to the sink with a low “Shit.” under his breath, and the back of his neck is feeling hot.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Numai snorts softly when he hears Kyoutani swear and smiles to himself, glad that he can make Kyoutani flustered. He hops back up to his feet and stretches out again, grabbing his sneakers to pull them on, he turns to Kyoutani, unable to keep the smile off his face, especially when he notices that Kyoutani’s skin at his neck and ears are red. “Do you wanna join me on my run? We have enough time before the match.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani is putting away the last of the dishes, still trying not to think about Numai’s biceps and how not thinking about Numai’s biceps made him think about Numai’s something or other anyways. When Numai asks him the question, Kyoutani closes the cabinet, nodding. “Yea, sure. You have a different route this time, or?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think I’ll just stick to the usual route. A lap or two around the outskirts of the camp.” He opens the door and steps outside looking at Kyoutani with a challenge in his eyes. “Don’t get left behind, slowpoke.” And with that, he starts jogging off.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani slips his sneakers on, walking out the door as he does so. He just barely manages to close the door without tripping over his shoes, and starts sprinting after Numai, then slows down to Numai’s pace, jogging right next to him. “I’m not getting left behind, asshole. If I knew where the fuck I was going, all you’d be seeing is my dust.” Kyoutani smirked.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“It goes in a circle,” Numai deadpans. “You can’t exactly get lost.” He flicks his head toward Kyoutani and pokes out his tongue before facing forward again and sprinting off. “Keep up, Tani! It looks more like you’re eating my dust.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani blinks in surprise, and processes what he just saw, falling a bit behind as he thinks about the flash of silver sitting on Numai’s tongue. Kyoutani shakes his head. This is not the time to think about licking into Numai’s mouth to see what that piercing felt like. Not thinking about that. Kyoutani runs forward to catch up, trying to focus more on winning.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Numai chuckles, he digs deep and runs faster, putting all his strength into each push of his feet off the floor. “You should train harder!” He shouts back to Kyoutani, his legs carrying him further ahead.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani grins, determined, competitiveness taking over, and he pushes off after Numai, hot on his heels. “Fuck off!” He yells, caught up next to Numai. They sprint neck-and-neck next to each other and Kyoutani is grinning, staring ahead, and would laugh if he didn’t feel so breathless, not only from the running, but the company.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Numai smiles brightly, he reaches over and bumps Kyoutani with his elbow. “You’re going down!” He's more than determined and picks up the pace to get further ahead again. “I'm winning this one, slowpoke!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kyoutani bumps back at Numai once he catches up, grunting the whole way through, he didn’t exactly go on runs every opportunity and while he had the power to catch up, he didn’t necessarily have the stamina to keep up. “Fuck off!” He says back, not able to come up with anything witty as Numai pulls on ahead of him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Numai snorts out a laugh, he can see Kyoutani breathing hard, his pace slowing just a little. “Aw, doesn't look like you can keep up with me. You should have rethought challenging me.” It's easy for Numai to stride ahead, his legs are long enough to keep a decent lead over Kyoutani, and he’s barely getting breathless, he could probably run a few more laps if there was more time to waste.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani watches Numai pull ahead and resigns his fate, slowing down to a walk as he watches Numai sprint on ahead. “Fuck off!” He yells after him, and focuses on catching his breath, holding his arms over his head with a scowl. Numai needs an equal to run with, not someone who needs to stop after a couple of laps. Kyoutani shakes the thought from his head and continues walking, and waits for Numai to overlap him so that he could start running next to him again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Numai smiles as he runs and as he catches up to Kyoutani, he gently taps his shoulder, stopping to walk with him. “This definitely means that I win.” He bumps their shoulders together. “You wanna go head over to the main building now?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani bumps him back, huffing, “Yea, let’s go, idiot.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Numai snorts, he gently grabs Kyoutani’s wrist and starts leading him toward the main building. A lot of the kids are there already, some outside running around and some inside talking, Numai reluctantly lets Kyoutani’s wrist go, to join the other councillors, smiling as they greet him. One of them, Imamura, pulls Numai aside and asks how he’s doing, to which Numai just brushes off the incident, saying he forgot to eat then went on a long run. He has enough knowledge to make it believable anyway.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani is rubbing at his wrist as he watches some guy pull Numai aside, probably to ask about yesterday, the rational part of his brain thinks. The irrational side of him thinks, of course Numai has other friends, and Kyoutani shouldn't even be that high on that list, he’s just lucky that he got to room with Numai, forcing them close. Kyoutani huffs. Numai has made him simultaneously so unbelievably smitten for the short time they’ve known each other, and at the same time the biggest fool. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kyoutani drifts over to a group of kids, who welcome him warmly and start trying to climb onto his back. Kyoutani manages to huff a laugh as he brings a kid over his shoulder, causing the kid to shriek excitedly. </span>
  <span>Numai hears the squeals of laughter and glances over his shoulder to see Kyoutani with the kids, it warms his heart instantly and he smiles softly, watching them fondly. Imamura laughs next to him and pats his shoulders. “Good luck with that one.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Numai blinks at him and Imamura smiles like he can read Numai’s mind. Numai shakes his head, pouting a little. “I don’t need luck,” He whispers back. “I need a miracle for him to feel the same way I do. And we’re leaving today, he might just think I’m saying something in the moment, but maybe we could be friends.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Damn, Numai. You’re a sucker, so sappy.” Numai gasps, he shoves Imamura and gently hits him in the arm. “Alright! Geez. I’ll shut up.” Numai smiles. Aizawa appears and they take their places as the last of the kids filter in.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani glances over at Numai as Aizawa appears, the kids climbing off him to greet her. Numai looks happy and joking, laughing easily. Kyoutani felt the incoming wave of jealousy and reminded himself that Numai was not his, and that, of course, Numai could have closer friends than him. They’ve only known each other for a week. He had no right to be jealous, but he was anyways. Huffing, Kyoutani goes to sit off in the corner as Aizawa calls for everyone’s attention.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hello everyone!” She booms, “I’d first like to thank everyone for being here, and for making this camp as great as it was this year! I can tell everyone has enjoyed their stay here, from kids to coaches! I’m excited to see what are the results of all your hard work this week! So I won’t drag this on, let’s go play!” The kids cheered, and coaches started ushering them towards the gymnasium. Kyoutani stayed back to make sure the last stranglers didn’t fall behind, not really looking for Numai. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After Aizawa’s speech, Numai brushes off Imamura and goes to join Kyoutani, greeting him with a soft tap on his shoulders. “We’re on set-up duty. I’ll try to be as helpful as I can be. I won’t slack behind.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani blinks at Numai, a bit surprised he hadn’t gone off with the other. “Oh. Yea. Sure” Kyoutani ushers the last kid out of the room, and walks out to the hall leading to the gym, “Let’s go then.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yep!” Numai follows Kyoutani. It’s not a long walk to the gym and Numai starts by getting out a cart of balls and the jerseys for the game. He puts out the scoreboard then rushes over to Kyoutani so they can start setting the net up. “See, didn’t I tell you?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani rolls his eyes and nudges Numai with his shoulder, and moves to set up the net. “Yeah, you sure told me.” he smirks, his back turned to Numai as he strings the net through the crank. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Numai snorts. He does the net at the other end. Once it's done he walks to the scoreboard and leans against it, he smiles when Kyoutani joins him and a short while later, the kids begin to filter in. Numai takes the blue jerseys while Kyoutani takes the yellow, the kids are excitable and quick to take one, lining up on the court.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Numai watches them with a fond smile, the other councillors sit in the stands with the rest of the kids that aren’t playing and Aizawa starts the game off with some encouraging words and a hearty blow of her whistle. Numai actually has fun, watching and keeping a track of the score with Kyoutani. Once the game is over, Numai helps with ushering the kids out, they’re already rushing around, even though there’s still time until the party, Numai is just grateful he doesn’t need to clean up as well, that’s left for someone else.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>He gets Kyoutani’s attention and smiles, walking over, the kids at Kyoutani’s feet rush off. “Hey, Tani. You coming to pack up now?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Yeah, I was boutta head over now. You comin'?” Kyoutani asked, already starting to walk out. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Obviously.” Numai follows Kyoutani back to their cabin. It’s almost deathly quiet, even as they make their way to the bedroom and start packing away their things. Numai glances over when he’s almost finished and he swallows, feeling nervous. “Tani, are you coming to the next one if they ask you? The one after winter.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani doesn’t process the question thanks to the nickname. It’s really not as big of a deal as his brain is making it, but nicknames were what friends did, what people who were close did. Kyoutani was becoming someone close to Numai. His neck felt warm. He folds another shirt into his suitcase before he can even think about the question. When he has no more things to put away Kyoutani, frowns at his suitcase. “I, uh. Yea. If they ask me. Yea.” He scratches at his cheek. “You?” He moves to zip up his suitcase distractedly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It'd be really nice to come back.” Numai nods, he finishes packing and zips up his case, relaxing back on his hands. “It’d be nice to see you again too. It’d be funny if we end up rooming. Wouldn’t it?” If they did, Numai would have to start believing in fate.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani huffs a laugh, “Yea. It’d be pretty good.” Kyoutani stands up his suitcase and pushed it against the wall to stretch out his legs in front of him. They were all packed. The week was going to end and he wouldn’t be seeing Numai every day. Kyoutani regrets being too bitter toward Numai those first couple of days, but honestly he’s never warmed up to someone this fast. Forget about the feelings he’s harbouring, Numai has been a good friend to him. Full stop. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>That’s why Kyoutani isn’t going to take this last opportunity to confess. Numai was his friend whom he’s only known for a week, and his friend who had feelings for someone else. Kyoutani wasn’t that selfish. He’d keep his own feelings in check to preserve the bond that they’ve built throughout the week, a bond that somehow had already endured many hardships. He won’t endanger that bond again, not when it was so freshly made.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kyoutani gets up and dusts off his legs. “So, I wasn’t really plannin’ on changin’ for the party, but somethin’ tells me that your ass totally would, so. Get ready and shit, we’re expected back in like fifteen minutes give or take.” Kyoutani walks over to Numai to offer him a hand up. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Numai shakes his head. He takes Kyoutani’s hand and rises to his feet. “Yeah, I have something put aside.” He lets his hand fall from Kyoutani’s, a little disappointed then walks to the bathroom. “I won’t be long. Wait for me?” Numai places his hand on the bathroom door-handle, waiting for Kyoutani’s reply first.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Yeah” Kyoutani nods, “I’ll wait.” Kyoutani watches Numai go off, a pile of nice looking clothes in his arms and looks back down at his sweater and joggers. He should at least change into a t-shirt, or something.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good.” Numai disappears behind the door, shutting it firmly behind him. He throws his shirt aside to pull on a thin tank top, covering it with a pink shirt which he only fastens half-way then he changes into the grey checked pants and pulls on his belt. He checks himself over in the mirror, fussing with his hair for a while.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Once Numai is happy, he walks back out, mouth open to tell Kyoutain, only to see him standing there, </span>
  <em>
    <span>shirtless.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Numai freezes up, unable to tear his eyes away from Kyoutani. Kyoutani is shuffling back through his suitcase and turns to Numai. He looks Numai up and down. “Uh, hi.” Kyoutani turns back and lifts two shirts up back to Numai, ears red, “Is one better than the other? I’m, uh. Not good at fashion and all that stuff.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Numai is glad that Kyoutani doesn’t mention the staring. He appreciates the look too and goes to sit on the edge of the bed, only half-looking at Kyoutani, not wanting to stare again...or get caught. “Um.” He quickly looks at the shirts then looks away again. “The one on the right. It’ll suit your skin-tone more.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani nods and puts the other shirt in his suitcase before slipping his shirt on. He zips his suitcase up again, and stands up to place it back against the wall. Numai is turned away from him and Kyoutani takes a longer sweep of Numai’s outfit. Numai’s collarbones are peeking out from where his shirt is and Kyoutani is definitely </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> thinking about touching the skin there and slipping his hand underneath the collar of the button down. He’s not, and he’s not gonna.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Ok.” Kyoutani says, clapping his hands together, “Ready for some kids and decent food?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yup!” Numai hops up. It’s easy to pack away the few things he’d just changed then he heads for the door, pulling on his shoes. “Let's go.” He pulls open the door and steps outside. There are a few groups heading over and Numai feels a little nostalgic, this is going to be the last time he sees them—most importantly, and simultaneously heart wrenching, that means Kyoutani too. Numai knows they agreed to text, but he still can't shake the feeling that he won't </span>
  <em>
    <span>see</span>
  </em>
  <span> Kyoutani after today. It's bittersweet. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kyoutani follows Numai out, pulling on some sneakers. Kyoutani walks slightly behind Numai, looking a bit like a bodyguard as they enter the party. He’s a bit overwhelmed when he first enters, the music (catchy pop songs that the kids can have fun to) was blaring and people bustling all over the place. He sticks relatively close to Numai, respecting personal space, but he’s not really sure where to go.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Numai heads over to the table with the food and drinks on, he pours some punch, handing the plastic cup back to Kyoutani, then he pours his own. “Food looks good.” He smiles at Kyoutani. Numai picks at a couple of things, adding them to a paper plate, then he walks over to the other councillors, greeting them with a grin. Imamura glances behind Numai then smiles at him, Numai frowns, wishing his hands were free so he could hit him, instead, he settles for a small shoulder barge then takes a drink of his punch.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani hangs back at the food table as Numai walks off to some friends. He was about to follow, but watching Numai grin up in recognition of his friends made him hesitate, and then it would have been awkward if he just continued to follow Numai like a lost puppy. Kyoutani chooses to busy himself with carefully selecting food to go on his plate. When he’s squandered around long enough, he looks over at Numai, still talking and greeting, and he turns to another table. Kyoutani would probably just be awkward as hell and Numai would have to be the one to deal with it. It would be selfish to go over to Numai.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kyoutani sits at a table in the far corner with some of the more quiet kids. Numai doesn’t notice that Kyoutani left, busy talking with the other councillors, it isn’t until he turns to put his plate down that he sees Kyoutani sitting with some kids. He watches for a moment, not wanting to bother him. </span>
  <span>Kyoutani notices one of them has no food on their plate and is looking anxiously at the crowd around the food. Sympathetic, Kyoutani offers to get the kid some food. The kid hops up from the table looking determined and looks back to Kyoutani. “I wanna get my own food. I can do it.” she says. Kyoutani snorts.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I’ll come with ya then.” The girl nods, and clutches at Kyoutani’s pants as they make their way to the food. Numai smiles softly, watching Kyoutani fondly; he’s great with the little girl and Numai can imagine what a great dad he’s going to be.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The girl lets go of his pants and he puts her hand on her shoulder to remind her he’s right behind him. She grabs food quickly and leads Kyoutani back to the table where they eat in silence. Numai watches them, brushing off Imamura when he taps his shoulder. “What?” He hisses quietly, turning his attention away from Kyoutani.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Go over, idiot. Your face is practically screaming </span>
  <em>
    <span>I like you</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Just go talk to him.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Numai pouts, stumbling a little when Imamura pushes him. “Geez, fine.” He huffs and goes to pour two more cups of punch then walks over to Kyoutani, careful of the kids that are running around.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani has been trying to focus more on the little girl than Numai, but when he sees Numai coming over their way, he blinks up at him in surprise. The motion makes the girl, who Kyoutani has learned is Himari, look up, and a new song is playing. Himari looks back to him, excited and abandons her plate of food to tug at Kyoutani’s arm, asking to go out for a dance. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Numai takes a seat at the table and pushes one of the cups across to Kyoutani, keeping the other in his grip. “Hey. You could have joined us y’know. It’s a lot more boring when you’re not around.” His phone buzzes and he rolls his eyes, pulling it out to quickly check the message. “Oh! My brother is picking me up, once we’re done here. How are you getting back?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Himari reacts before Kyoutani, and hides herself behind Kyoutani’s chair shyly. Before Kyoutani answers to Numai, Kyoutani turns in his chair to whisper to Himari, “Numai-san’s my friend, he’s nice. Promise.” Himari sticks out her pinkie and Kyoutani has to reach over his chair to link his pinkie with hers. With that Himari comes peeking back out, still clutched to Kyoutani’s side. Finally Kyoutani answers, “I got my own car, so. Should be fine.” Kyoutani is not even going to try commenting about joining Numai earlier, he’s not sure if he could come up with a response to “</span>
  <em>
    <span>It’s a lot more boring when you’re not around</span>
  </em>
  <span>” without tripping over his own tongue. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Numai gives a small wave to the little girl. He digs through his pocket and smiles when he pulls out a small piece of paper, he places it onto the table and slowly starts folding it up. It takes a few minutes, but he finishes up a small rose and leans over to pass it to the girl. “Here, this will look really beautiful in your hair.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Himari looks up to Kyoutani and he glances at Numai in amazement before turning back and nodding encouragingly at her. Himari gently grabs it from Numai and passes it to Kyoutani. Kyoutani nods and takes the paper flower, and tucks it behind her ear. When he finishes, he says, “Looks good.” and Himari beams up at him and then looks at Numai. She tucks herself back into Kyoutani and mutters, “Thank you.” in a small voice. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re very welcome.” Numai smiles softly. “It looks really nice. You look cute.” He nods firmly then glances around the room, seeing the kids dancing or running in circles, he smiles a little wistfully at the way they can easily have fun. “Would you like to go dance?” He asks it, not specifically directed at Kyoutani or the little girl.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Himari’s eyes widen in excitement and she looks over to Kyoutani, pleading. Kyoutani stares hard at her for a second, and huffs. “Fine” he relents. Kyoutani gets up from the seat, and Himari grabs onto his hand, smiling. Kyoutani turns to Numai, “Comin’?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course Numai-san is coming!” Himari says, and starts dragging Kyoutani to the dance floor. Kyoutani glances at Numai over his shoulder as he’s dragged off with a pleading look that spells </span>
  <em>
    <span>help</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
  <span>Numai snorts, he gets up and follows them to a clear spot on the dance floor. The music is some overplayed pop song, one that he thinks belongs to a cartoon. Numai holds his hand out, smiling when Himari takes it, he grasps Kyoutani's wrist with his other hand and leads the dance, grinning brightly. </span>
  <span>They’re going in small awkward circles, but Himari looks happy, and Kyoutani thinks that Numai would get along well with his sister. The thought has him reeling and hyper-aware of Numai’s hand on his wrist. He tries not to make that fact too obvious and keeps his eyes on Himari.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Numai laughs softly, some of the other kids start dancing around them, even a few of the councillors join in. “We've amassed a following.” He leans down to whisper to Kyoutani. A different kid comes over and tugs his sleeve, Numai looks down with a smile and even though Himari seems reluctant, she lets go with a pout and Numai turns his attention to the other kid, Yukio, who seems elated.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Imamura is dancing close by, and he bumps shoulders with Numai, grinning up at him. “You’re a real great guy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Numai rolls his eyes. “Whatever.” He keeps his attention on Yukio instead, electing to ignore Imamura. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani turns all his focus on Himari, feeling the familiar wave of jealousy creep over. Himari smiles up at him and steps on both of his feet. Kyoutani huffs at her, but holds both of her hands to stabilize her, and starts to sway her back and forth, turning so that his back is to Numai, not all that willing to watch Numai get all buddy-buddy with someone else.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Numai looks away from Yukio to check on Kyoutani and Himari, only to melt completely at the way that they’re dancing together. Himari looks adorable standing on Kyoutani’s feet, and Kyoutani looks completely natural. Numai turns back to focus on Yukio, who’s using his arm to spin around, she glances at Himari and jumps in place, Numai chuckles when she lets go of him to run around Kyoutani to speak to Himari.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Numai turns back to Imamura, who’s nudging his side, Numai swats his arm. Imamura laughs, ruffling Numai’s hair up. “Hey!” He frowns at Imamura, swatting his hand away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kyoutani’s attention, as soon as Himari runs off with Yukio to dance, goes to Numai and his friend that touches him so casually, so easily, when every touch between him and Numai was starting to feel like a risk like Numai could read his mind just by touch. Without anything else to do, seeing that Numai was occupied and Himari was off somewhere with Yukio, Kyoutani elects to just leave. He moves off the dance floor silently and exits the room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This was a really petty move, not even saying goodbye to Numai, so Kyoutani sits a few feet outside the door leaning against the wall. He’ll just wait for the party to finish, for Numai to come out, and he’ll say a quick goodbye and leave. Honestly, Kyoutani wasn’t sure if he was doing this more for Numai or himself at this point</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After muttering words to Imamura, Numai turns back to speak to Kyoutani, only to find that he’s gone. He ditches the dance floor, glances to the table where they were sitting before, but it’s empty, with a soft sigh, Numai heads outside. He finds Kyoutani quickly and goes to join him, sitting down, cross-legged, without a word to Kyoutani, he picks some of the flowers and starts to twist them together, staying quiet. The least Numai feels like he can do is spend some time by Kyoutani’s side before they need to part ways.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani blinks over at Numai. “Thought you were-uh. Enjoying the party. Your friends are probably waitin’ for ya. I’m all good out here. So. Uh, just- Hm. I guess, goodbye.” Kyoutani fiddles his fingers in the grass. It hits him that this might be one of the last times he actually gets to </span>
  <em>
    <span>see</span>
  </em>
  <span> Numai. Even if they’re texting, it’s just not the same. Kyoutani leans his head back against the wall and turns his head to watch Numai twist flowers in his hand, basking in these last moments. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re my friend too,” Numai says easily, like second nature. He finishes the flowers then turns to Kyoutani with a soft smile, he shifts a little closer and reaches up, placing the ring of flowers on his head. “You’re better company than them anyway.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Oh.” Kyoutani gasps. His breath is caught in his throat at the comment. Kyoutani can feel his face start to warm and he turns away. “You don’t have to say that shit to be polite or anythin’. They’ve been your friends longer and shit so, won’t take any offence to being worse company or some shit.” Kyoutani decides that he’s definitely making more excuses for himself at this point, seeing that he can’t even bring himself to take off the flower crown. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not saying shit to be polite. I haven’t known them any longer than I’ve known you,” Numai brings his knees up and folds his arms over them, leaning forward to rest his chin on them. “We’ve only been here a week. I feel like I know you better than anyone, the things I’ve told you are only things my therapist knows. Like </span>
  <em>
    <span>everything</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Tani, and you’re a great friend, really great. So, yeah...I’d rather be out here and sit in silence with you than go back in there.” He falls silent again and brings one hand down to pluck at a few pieces of the grass.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Oh. Uh.” Kyoutani doesn’t have any excuses for that. “Shit I don’t- like I- well- Hm. Uh.” Kyoutani buries his face in his hands. “Thanks.” And Kyoutani means it. He’s never been called a great friend, he’s never had anyone who wants to just sit in silence with him, never had anyone outside of his family trust him so completely, and Kyoutani is nothing but grateful for it. Numai is somehow ticking all the right boxes in being the best person for Kyoutani. Even with all the fighting and mistakes, and even the fact that Numai seems to like another guy, Numai was just </span>
  <em>
    <span>there</span>
  </em>
  <span> for him and that’s all that mattered. Numai is here. Kyoutani is grateful. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Numai smiles to himself, he picks some more flowers and weaves them together, making another ring. This time, when he picks up, he places it onto his own head then stretches out, leaning back to fall beside Kyoutani. “We match now, Tani. These are sorta like friendship flower crowns. So, no forgetting me.” He gently bumps their shoulders together.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani snorts and nudges Numai back. “Like I could forget your clumsy ass. Don’t need some shitty flower to remind me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re so mean.” Numai pouts playfully. He gazes off, just enjoying Kyoutani’s company at his side, not really wanting to leave. Unfortunately, it doesn’t feel like they’re sitting there for long when the music dies and the kids start rushing out. Numai stands up, just so he can avoid looking at Kyoutani, he still puts his hand out for Kyoutani to take. “I guess we gotta go. We should go grab our bags.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani blinks his eyes open, not even realizing he had closed them in the first place “Oh. Yeah.” Kyoutani stares at the hand in front of him, and takes it without hesitation, using it to pull himself up. He takes his hand back as soon as he’s up. Kyoutani was scared he'd never want to let go if he held on for any longer. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Let’s get moving.” There’s no enthusiasm in Numai’s voice, but he leads Kyoutani back to the cabin, he lets them in then goes to grab his bag, taking a good sweep of the room with his eyes. “I think I’m actually going to miss this place.” Kyoutani nods solemnly. Numai walks back out, slowly making his way to the exit with Kyoutani at his side.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Once they’re outside of the camp, Numai looks for his brother, and Minosuke is there, leaning against his car. Numai sighs when Minosuke waves at him. “I guess this is it for now, isn’t it?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani wants to answers Numai, but he’s a bit busy looking at the </span>
  <em>
    <span>fucking beautiful car </span>
  </em>
  <span>in front of him. Kyoutani knew Numai was some kind of rich, if his clothes were anything to go by, but to see his brother pull up in </span>
  <em>
    <span>that </span>
  </em>
  <span>was a whole nother level than he imagined. Under his breath Kyoutani muttered, “What the fuck?” He blinks back at Numai “Uh- Fuck. Yea. Sorry. Uh- Shit. Didn’t mean to uh- car. But uh. Yea.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Numai snorts, rolling his eyes. “Yeah, I hate that car.” He walks over anyway, gently shoving Minosuke aside so he can put away his suitcase. When he’s done, he turns to Kyoutani. “Text me later, okay?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Introduce me to your friend.” Minosuke pokes Numai’s shoulder and Numai shrugs him off, pushing him toward the driver’s seat.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“No.” Numai steps back towards Kyoutani, sighing softly. “He’s a pain. But please, do text me, I’d really like to chat with you.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Kyoutani nods dazedly, mostly looking at the car, and then he blinks, and realizes that Numai is </span>
  <em>
    <span>leaving </span>
  </em>
  <span>now. “Yeah. I’ll text. For sure. I’ll uh-” Kyoutani tightens his grip on his suitcase. He really doesn’t want Numai to leave, but they both have to go back to their own lives, where they can’t wake up next to each other in the mornings or make meals for each other or work together in volleyball. It’s not like Kyoutani’s life was bad outside of the camp. His teammates tolerated him, he had a loving family back home, and he was doing decently in his studies. But also, his life didn’t have Numai, who seeked him out when Kyoutani was alone and made his heart squeeze with fondness. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll see you around.” Kyoutani finishes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. Can’t come soon enough.” And Numai wants to say more, he wants to tell Kyoutani that he’s going to miss him, going to miss the warm feeling that comes with his mere presence. He can’t say that he’s developing feelings. So he doesn’t, he waves instead and returns to Minosuke, who thankfully is in the driver’s seat now. Numai gets into the passenger seat, buckles up then glances back to get another look at Kyoutani, waving with a sad smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kyoutani waves back quietly, not even able to muster a smile in return.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>this is the final chapter for the first part :000<br/>idk when part 2 will be coming, probably sometime after the new year now, look forward to it :3 it's a good one, I promise!!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>